how do you hande the separation?

[johnH]

This is going to be so new to me! My son is 6 months old and me and his father split up. My ex was constantly cheating on me so I'm now back at my mothers trying to put my life back together.

the one thing that keeps making me loose it is thinking about all the time that I won't have my son. My ex still has yet to even put him down to sleep and I have only spent 1 night away from my son. My heart is completely broken I don't want to keep him from his dad but I feel like I don't know how to deal with not having my son when I want him. The biggest thing is days like his 1st bday, I know its 6 months away but I just don't feel its fair that I have to share him after all his dad is the one that screwed up.

[theoneman]

This is going to be so new to me! My son is 6 months old and me and his father split up. My ex was constantly cheating on me so I'm now back at my mothers trying to put my life back together.

the one thing that keeps making me loose it is thinking about all the time that I won't have my son. My ex still has yet to even put him down to sleep and I have only spent 1 night away from my son. My heart is completely broken I don't want to keep him from his dad but I feel like I don't know how to deal with not having my son when I want him. The biggest thing is days like his 1st bday, I know its 6 months away but I just don't feel its fair that I have to share him after all his dad is the one that screwed up.

You have to share him for him don't you think? That is as long as Dad behaves minimally good. Boy needs his dad. Is he gonna' be there for him? I mean to teach him how to catch a football, ride a bike, work on a car, build a treehouse. You're not getting in that tree are you? A guy need to be with his dad doing guy things and hopefully, Dad can be there to answer some of the many questions he'll ask when he's growing.

I don't think cheating is a reason to keep him away from Dad.

[johnH]

you are right ans I have no plans to keep them from each other. He does want to be involved and that makes me happy I guess it is just so new and I never saw this happening. I am just hurt and still trying to figure out how I am going to deal with not having my son around the way we had planned. I want my ex to be more involved than he has been and I know as my son gets older that will happen. I told him we will not fight and it will be as civil as possible. My sons happiness is my #1 concern so if I need to suffer to make sure that he is happy I am going to do that.

I just wonder how others cope with all of this. I guess I am just looking for some hope for this situation.

[dmom2parker08]

Hey, I am currently separated too. Though my son is 3. My husband left me for another woman. I am gonna be real honest, i struggled with my son seeing his dad at first, though I want to punish my husband, I will not punish my son. My son deserves to see his father. What I did was I made boundaries, like he can see him on his days off, for 3 hours a day. My son cannot be around the other woman and I must know where they are at all times. Now, with the dissolution stuff starting, my husband will get to see his son more often and for overnights. I never worried about my husband hurting my son...but if you are, I would say start with boundaries. You have the right to set them...and you should, for your sake, your ex's sake and your child's sake.

[booney]

Hi , you feel those things because it's still fresh, time heal all wounds, so take it's pace one at a time; your ex is the father of your son and let it be.


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[diaperdad]

It gets easier but never really goes away. My son just turned 3 and his mom and I have been separated for almost a year and a half. We have 50/50 custody and I am pretty miserable when my son is not around. I have learned to deal with it.