He should eat every 2-3 hours (alternating big meals with small snacks), and he should be given a large variety of foods, some familiar and some new. He should be allowed to eat as much as he wants during meal times. As long as you are aware of his hunger (and full) cues and offer a large variety of healthy foods you really can't go wrong feeding him. Consider reading "How to Get Your Child to Eat, but Not Too Much" by Ellyn Satter. It goes from Birth through adulthood on how to get your children to be healthy eater and have a healthy relationship with food. It might help you and your husband have a little less anxiety.
If you are bottle feeding or nursing you should start to cut down so solid food is his primary source of nutrition. On the other hand, if you are nursing, keep it going as long as you want. Research shows that 2.5 years and longer is healthy, nutritious, and might actually be the way nature intended (but of course if you don't nurse that long you are fine too :-)
Keep in mind, as a toddler he is going to have days he doesn't seem to eat much, but he will make it up other days. As long as over a 5-7 day period he is getting what he needs then don't worry about the day or two that was "bad".
Here are some links to finger food and feeding ideas that I posted when my own son was about a year old (he's 2 now). Look for the Newmom! posts. Hope you find them helpful.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!