Is she just lacking attention?

[luvbugsmommy]

I have a 5yr old girl who is my one and only. My consern is that everytime i talk to her and ask her to do something, like clean up after herself, wash her face/brush her teeth before going to bed, she goes off and does whatever she pleases without doing what I told her to. Here recently i have lost my temper after several times of talking to her to where i end up yelling at her. Everytime this happens she starts crying and 'goes on herself' even when being in the restroom. I dont know if this is just part of her tantrum or something more serious like psychologic issues to where she feels scared, rejected or simply just wants attention?

[cay8099]

When you say goes on herself are you saying she pees her pants? First off yelling doesn't really get you anywhere when trying to get a kid to do something. Trust me I've been there. I would suggest you start calmy doling out consequences when she doesn't listen. Take her favorite toy or whatnot away. Start telling her how proud you are when she does as you ask, and plan rewards like a trip to the playground. It's a start anyway.

[RImommy]

I don't know how much/how severe the yelling is - but I tend to think she is not being traumatized or peeing her pants out of being frightened. I was going to say the same as Cay about yelling not being effective. She is also certainly old enough that she doesn't need to be even given the opportunity to just go off and do what she wants. If she doesn't listen to you, there should be consequences that are immediate and predictable. It sounds like she is used to calling the shots somewhat and when she is being told no and you get angry, this is part of her tantrum. I would mention it to her doctor if you are concerned, but it sounds to me to be more behavioral than physical.