I'm the 23 yeaer old single father of 3 small children.They are almost 7,6,and 5 on 12/11/10.There mom will NEVER be in the picture,I don't have a clue where she is and honestly I'm not looking.My children often ask me,"Are we really your kids?","Did you steal us?"I am going for my masters degree in engineering,I work on a nearby rig,as well as in my parents' businesses,I think I am a good father.I was adopted sometime before I was 1 year old and each of my children were brought directly to me at most a few days after their births.Is it someting I'm doing wrong?I don't have a clue who my birth parents are and didn't suspect until I was a teenager that I might be adopted.Do my kids hate me so bad they wish they were adopted?
Why would adoption be something equivalent to hate, you have to love your child a lot to give them up in the hope that they will get a better life. I don't know...and I'm a single dad too my daughter is 4 months old and I'm 18 so a young dad like you.
Oh and maybe your kids are just confused about where mom is and that's why they ask you if they're adopted or you stole them. Because they know babies come from mommies and so if you have them but there's no mom then maybe they are just confused.
I have to agree that there is adgree of confusion coming from your kids, and you might want to consider that someone somewhere is planting these ideas that you stole them in their you imprssionable minds. Explain to them that you are indeed their father, and tell them reassure them that they are loved.
"Our best successes often come after our greatest disappointments" -Henry Ward Beecher
Its probably due to the fact that 'everyone knows babies come from mommies' and they don't interact with their mommy. In their minds they might not think they have a mom, or if they did why don't they get to see her/spend time with her.
If you look around at advertising targeted at parents and kids they are usually heavy on the mom, light on the dad. Even Parenting.com and Parenting magazine are that way. It all adds up to confusion as to why they are 'different'. In fact, they aren't different (as you know) single dads just seem to fall through the cracks.
It might be worth going to family counseling with them, or talking to a family counselor on your own to find out how to handle this situation.
I pretty much agree with the point that they are confused, that is the only reason they are coming up with such questions. Just let them know that you are their actual father. Give them lots of time and show them that you love them a lot. Some times it needs a little more expressing of love. You can also take a online parenting class or so, as you are a single parent. And you might need some help
Last edited by Claira A01; 06-03-2011 at 03:18 AM.
I would also say someone somewhere has said something to your kids. You need to spend more time with them, so that they know without question that you are their father and that you love them more than anything in the world. I know that my be very difficult with working on a rig, going for you masters degree in engineering, and working in your family buisnes. You are obviously trying to provide and prepare for the future for you children but they do need to know you intimately now. There is no substitute for time. Good Luck!!
I deal with single parents day in and day out at my job. Our apartments have many single parents living in them. I have had many fathers like you come up to me and ask what they are doing wrong. I"m sure your kids don't hate you, but they are just crying out for attention. When they say things like that they are looking for love and reassurance.
~~ MelFallen ~~ St. Paul Apartments