Daughter is being bullied, please help.!

[chickenbubbasmommy]

Hello All.

I was wondering if anyone here has had experience with their child being bullied, and had advice on what steps I could take to help make this stop.

Eight months ago, my 10 y.o. daughter and 8 y.o. son were playing at the playground within our gated community. An 11 y.o. girl who lives on our block, became angry when she lost in the game of dodge ball they had been playing, and pushed my son. My daughter stepped in between and told her to stop. The other child proceeded to beat my daughter, dragging her down the street by her hair and punching her in the face repeatedly. I called the police, and was basically told there was nothing they could do because of the children's ages. Since the first attack, my daughter has been harassed by this other girl on an almost daily basis. It is to the point that I cannot let her leave the house without myself or her older sister. The girl's mother has been to my door recently, and said she thought the girls should fight it out on the street to get it out of their systems. Apparently she doesn't understand my daughter is terrified of her daughter. I stand outside with my daughter and her friends, and watch this girl follow my daughter around, literally stalking her. This child doesn't even care that I am witnessing her behavior; when I have asked her to leave my daughter alone, she mouths off or comes close to me and just stands there. The girl is one year ahead of my daughter, and I am terrified what's going to happen next year when my daughter goes to middle school with her. What can I do.?

[KelEMcE]

My BIL and his brothers are all cops, so I asked them. What you were told is NOT true. You need to file a police report and you need to document EVERY single incident. Dates, times, witnesses, exactly what happened. Heck, I'd even carry a video camera around with me. Clearly you are not going to get anywhere by discussing this with the mother (no one ever does) because she's just as bad as her child. If she dares to come to your home again, tell her that if her daughter so much as touches your children, or threatens them verbally, or steps foot on your property, you'll call the police - and if she encourages her child to attack yours, you'll file a civil suit and press criminal charges against her.

I'd call a lawyer, too.

Your daughter has the right to be safe and free from harrassment. Call the police, tell them what happened, tell them what the mother said, tell them of all occurences, and supervise your kids closely. Call the police every single time this other child harrasses your child and insist that a report be made. Ask for a copy. Ask for a supervisor, if you need to.

When you are out with your kids, and this other child comes after your daughter, tell her that if she doesn't back off, you're dialing the police. Then do it. If she dares to come at YOU, tell her that you will do whatever it takes to protect your daughter, and that if she has to go to jail or see a social worker, so be it. Ask other parents if their kids have had similar experiences. There's strength in numbers.

[lyla797]

Bullying.Definately one of my worst fears for my kids. Along with all the legal precautions, teach her to defend herself. Take her to classes, build her confidence, (and yours).Talk to your daughters' friends parents, if possible, for more support.
This bully and her mother, for her lack of concern as a parent, both must be held accountable.

[charliesmommy]

I have no advice but I totally sympathize with you. I am so very sorry you're family is going through this.

[marley55]

Seriously the cops can't do anything? That doesn't make any sense. They can't at least come out and tell the other girl to leave your daughter alone? If I were you, I'd call the police after every single infraction - every time the girl is following your daughter, every time she says anything to you or comes close to you in a threatening manner, etc. And if the cops refused to do anything, I'd probably move. Maybe that's not an option for you, but that's what I would do.

Clearly she gets it from her mom, since the mom was so inappropriate as to suggest the girls fight it out like gangsters. What a piece of work.

So you won't get any help from the parents, and the girl probably won't change.

[KellyChickadee]

You need to keep the police informed. Keep track of everything that this other girl does. Eventually, you will talk with someone who will do something. Your daughter, or some other child could have been seriously harmed. It is ridiculous that your children cannot play outside without fear. That isn't a way for children to live. Is this happening at school too? If so, go to the principal. They are obligated to protect their students. Good luck.

[jillg20]

Hi Parent
Wow, I really feel for you and your daughter. I was bullied as a child although not to that extent. There are articles on how to deal with bullying at
http://kidstrong.info/

I totally agree with KelEMcE right down to the video camera. (it's not illegal to videotape what's going on out in public). Call the cops every time. I hope eventually they get the message that this will not be taken lightly. Also, when you daughter goes to middle school, inform the school prior to the school year starting that there is a bullying issue in writing. If they don't take the proper measures to ensure that your daughter is safe (including expelling the other girl), they can have a lawsuit on their hands and a PR nightmare.
I hope you find some of the articles helpful.
Good Luck
Jill

[amjsz4ever]

I feel your pain. My son has been harrassed by 2 neighbor boys for a few years now. We've tried talkingto the moms...nothing. The cops had to be called a few times because they have physically attacked him. A few nights ago he attacked my son from behind and then clawed his eye, then hit my daughter as she tried to pull him off...all in front of this kids mom and she did nothing! When the cops showed up, first thing out of the officers mouth was, " so what'd you do to make this happen?" Are you kidden me!! Then tells us that the kid admitted hitting him and saidit was becausemy son tossed a flip flop at him. I cut her off and asked her what she would want him to do if every time he goes outside he isverbally assaulted and physically numerous times. Her response was to keep him near the house. Nice. Then fast forward tonight. My son playing with some friends, the boy and his mom come out starring himdown...and actually had the other boy he's had problems with start running his mouth to my son. I was amazed! I'm at my limit, and I know my son is. All they have in my area (if we choose to press charges), is youth court. I guess that's we're a punishment gets passed down by a group of kids at the high school who play judge and jury...doesn't help when mom is buddy buddy with the parents of those kids envolved! I'm at a loss!

[Cracker1]

The police today are lazy. They are lying. They can actually arrest the parents. Call the everytime there is an incedent. Especially verbal. That is harassment, and even though they probably won't arrest the child, they will eventually have to arrest the parent. If they don't and anything happens to your child even one scratch. Lawyer up. You gave them the chance to do there job, they didn't take it. Make sure you document everytime the police show up, and yes a Video would be best.

And ignore anyone giving you advice from a book. Stand up to a bully? Works if you can kick there butt. If you can't? Oh, go tell someone. Now you made it worse for yourself. I personally would handle it a different way, but that's just me.

[hollster9]

One answer! Martial Arts! I own a taekwondo school and also have three kids myself. There is no better answer then that! You need to find a good martial arts school, one that really cares about kids. (The American Taekwondo Association is my recommendation and they are everywhere). You can also check out my blog and website to give you an idea about what you should be looking for in a school!
www.ellsworthata.com