I'd like to know if anyone else has been through this.
When i fell pregnant my husband was over the moon. When I was about 3months along he started changing. He was hardly home - out with the boys every weeken till the early hours of the morning. I'd complain about this but we'd end up having the same arguements daily (his lack of attention). He got lesss and l intimate with me. By the time i was 4months along we'd hardly spend time alone together and we had stopped all forms of intimacy. When i try to talk to him about it he'd tell me he cant talk aboit it. Eventually towards the end of my pregnancy he told me he wasnt comfortable sleeping with a pregnant woman. However, its been 4months since the birth of our baby and he still cant be intimate with me. Now he says seeing me in labour has put him off intimacy. Now to my issue...i find myself getting jealos of the attention he gives to our. My skin crawls everytime he gives her the undivided attention i crave from him. He douts on her and i could just scream. I find myself o angry with her - especially when she cries. I feel so gilty coz i think i'm a bad mother to feel such resent for my baby. Last he tried to be intimate (10months lateer) and i just couldnt get myself to it. I told him i feel funny because he's practically ignored me fot almost a year, then out of the blue he jumps on me. He said i'm starting politics, turns his back on me and ignored me the rest of the night. In the morning he pretends like nothing happens and tells me he will not nurse my ego.
How can i stop the resent i feel for my husband and stop transfering it to my baby. I cry evry night and he has no idea how i feel.
First some of it is normal. A lot of men have trouble relating to pregnant women, I don't know why but it's weird for them, what I would be most worried about is that it has continued and he won't talk about it. I don't know that I would be worried about you being jealous, unless you are thinking violent thoughts, you feel like he's ignoring you and she's taking your place. It's sort of an odd role reversal as I have heard some dads feel this way. I think that if you want to talk to him about it do it when he's NOT trying to be intimate, maybe sit down with him for dinner without the little one. Talk when neither of you is already in a bad mood. Tell him how you feel, I would also suggest talking to a counselor they can really help.
Oh, honey, you're not a bad mom, you're under a lot of pressure and he's not making it any easier! Please talk to him, talk to your doctor, talk to your pediatrician if no one else. You could be experiencing a little post partum depression, too.
As for him being "put off" by watching you deliver, he needs to get over it. The good news is, he loves your baby and wants to spend time with her. That's great! What if you plan a quiet evening together, without the baby around, and just spend time together, and see where it leads?