Is it all in my head?

[baf-wren]

I am married, 39 years old, with three children. I take my children to a family doctor, who by the way is attractive; however, he has met my husband and tended to all of our children and my needs. Currently, my husband is away in Afghanistan, he will return home next July 2011. Since his departure, I have seen our doctor a few times, (because of appointments) and he has never asked any questions about my husband, like "how is he doing over there?" "when is he returning?" "how are we holding up during the deployment?" And I have broke the ice myself by bringing up my husband and he evades the subject. When I first met our doctor he wore a ring but now he doesn't. So i'm thinking that he doesn't want to talk about marriage because of a bad break up--maybe. I keep telling myself that anyways. Am I reading too much into this or is something going on with him that I should be aware of? Or is just all in my head?

[cay8099]

He's your doctor, not a family friend, what could possibly be going on with him that is any of your business? What exactly is your question anyway? What are you looking for here? So your doctor is attractive; what's your point? If his marriage is over how is it your business unless you are looking to ruin yours.

[baf-wren]

No duh Sherlock--i'm aware he is my doctor--what i'm concerned about is why he doesn't ask how my husband is doing or is he coming home for r&r--when? I am not trying to ruin my marriage and how dare you just come out and accuse me of such thing. My reason for being concerned is because he is a doctor (an army doctor) and its his job to ask such questions during a time of deployment. Do you know what a deployment is? It is where soldiers go across the globe to fight a war we have no business fighting just to protect the freedom of speech that is granted to users of this forum--SUCH AS YOURSELF!! And by the way--go **** your self--you self absorbed *****.

[cay8099]

Sorry, I read your post wrong apparently. It was the comment about your Dr. being an attractive man that threw me off. Perhaps all the stuff you're worried about is already in his records and he already knows. Has he been your Dr. long? Maybe you're one of those patients he knows well enough to know how your doing already.
Again I apologize for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Alot of women come here looking for validation to have an affair and I made an ass of myself by assuming you were another one of those. By the way I will not be performing any anatomically impossible acts on myself.LOL

[ksims]

In Cay's defense, I kind of got the same idea from your initial post. You said he was attractive. What does being attractive have to do with wondering why he isn't asking about your husband's deployment and your well being while he's away? I don't want to ruffle your feathers, as it is not my intention, but you leave out a few facts, such as this guy being an army doctor and it being his duty to ask about the soldier on deployment when his wife comes for an appointment, in your first post.

Having said all that, I think your doc is doing his job. Talking about marriage, and the possible end of his, really isn't professional when dealing with his patients. If you are truly concerned, and are friends outside the doctor's office, maybe you could give him a call and let him know that you're there for him if he needs to talk. Otherwise, I don't see where it should matter one way or the other what his personal life is outside the office. I certainly do not know what my doctor's personal life is, nor do I want to know.

[baf-wren]

First off I understand that there are women on here that are looking for justification to sleep around. I was merely paying my doctor a compliment by mentioning how attractive he is. He has been our doctor for over a year now and as I mentioned in my post--I have try to break the ice and talk about my husband but he finds ways of evading the subject. Therefore, I am concerned about what is going on with him. He use to wear a ring on his finger and my guess is that its his way of evading the subject (talking about marriage) is probably due to a bad break up.

[baf-wren]

Sorry, I read your post wrong apparently. It was the comment about your Dr. being an attractive man that threw me off. Perhaps all the stuff you're worried about is already in his records and he already knows. Has he been your Dr. long? Maybe you're one of those patients he knows well enough to know how your doing already.
Again I apologize for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Alot of women come here looking for validation to have an affair and I made an ass of myself by assuming you were another one of those. By the way I will not be performing any anatomically impossible acts on myself.LOL

Sorry for flying off the handle--i'm sure there are women on here that have or want to have an affair--not me. Marriage isn't easy, it takes some effort, but no matter how pretty a face a man may have--he will never take the place of my man.

[cay8099]

Sorry for flying off the handle--i'm sure there are women on here that have or want to have an affair--not me. Marriage isn't easy, it takes some effort, but no matter how pretty a face a man may have--he will never take the place of my man.

That's wonderful to hear. Too many people don't value marriage the way it should be valued, and it's great to hear from someone who does.

Maybe your family doctor feels he's not equiped to handle any emotions your feeling regarding your husbands deployment. Doesn't the army provide mental health professionals or councilors who are better able to help you deal with your feelings regarding his tour? That being said feel free to ask anything, and we will do our best to offer sympathy and/or advice when needed.

[cay8099]

http://forums.parenting.com/member.php?u=105932

You should look H.Starr up. She is also a military wife and can sympathize in a way many of us can't. The link I posted above should take you to her. Give her some time to answer though cause she just gave birth.

[charliesmommy]

I thought the same thing as cay. Which is why I didn't respond.

I confused as to why it is his JOB to ask you about your husband. I thought his job is to be your family doctor.