OMG!!!! Please help me

[Lovebeingmommy05]

In serious need of advice!!!

I am a single mom to two children!! Have been divorced from my kids dad for 3 years now (both children live with me and see their dad every other weekend) my son who is 3 1/2 is out of control!!!! I took him to the doctor to see if something was wrong with him and the doc. Said he was fine!!!! My son throws the worst fits when he doesn't get his way!!! He cries over everything. He slams doors, screams bloody murder, kicks me (here and there) and doesn't listen worth a crap!!! But on the other hand, some days he's soo good!!! He's my lil guy and I did baby him more growing up!!! For the past week Ive cought him peeing on the carpet. And last night he peed on his sisters pillow!!! Ugh! I've tried time outs and he kicks the walls I've tried taking toys away hesitant care!! A friend gaveme an idea to go buy hot wheels and at the end of the day if he was good he got one!!! Thecars sat in the closet forever so that was out..... I spend one on one time with him thinking it was that but that didn't help!!!! I'm at my wits ends with it I can't take it.... By 6pm I'm soooo burnt out I'm already ready fir bed!!! He's outta control and it has to stop!!!! for his sake and mine!! I love my lil guy sooo much but watching him act like this scares me!!! I don't want him to be outta control teen!!!! Please give me ideas, books that might help, anything!!!!!

[cay8099]

First off do not let him hit and kick you. If he does, step back tell him in a calm voice that this behavior is unacceptable and he gets no attention from mommy until the he stops and walk away. Same for fits. It's not your job to calm him down, and stop the fit; it's his job to calm himself. I can't stress this enough WALK AWAY from his tantrum. When he pees on the floor or wherever make him clean it up. He's 3 so he won't do a good job of it, but you can detail the cleaning after he's done. Praise him for good behavior. Children want to please you, and telling him how proud and happy you are with his good behavior could go a long way.

[RoseAsh]

My child did this too. His dad and I divorced when he was a 1 1/2 yrs old and he went into blind rages when he didn't get his way or wanted something and I didn't do his bidding fast enough. I got involved with First Steps program and they sent a behavioralist to our house once a week to work with both of us. Basically, I tried having him try to calm himself down but when he went into the hitting and kicking stage with me; they had me restrain him until he calmed down. I can tell you this is not a fun experience. I had to sit on the floor and put my legs over his and hold him so he wouldn't hurt either or us until he calmed down. I can say there were times where he would bloody my nose from head butting me or bust my lip but this did help him calm down quickly and prevent much more problems. With time, we were able to teach him how to calm himself down without the physical danger. First Steps is a program through the state and it was free for us based on our income. They were a godsend to me. Good luck. My son is 8yrs old now and is much more controlled child. He still has a temper but never tries anything physical with me anymore.