Fall in love with something. Ask yourself where do you want to be in 5 years? Then make short term goals for yourself. You sound very passionate.
I have been feeling the same way.
I am only 18 and my boyfriend is about to turn 21. He already takes a lot of time for himself while I am home with our daughter, or if he isn't going out people are over. He acts annoyed when I want to drive to the town we used to live in to see family or anything because he is always doing stuff, so he doesn't see the point.
I am in a mommy-toddler playgroup but I feel like I still am missing something. We can't afford daycare, even part time unless I get a job, but I don't see the point in a part time job to go straight to daycare. I hope that makes sense.
The closer it gets to his birthday the more he talks about being out EVEN MORE and it's making me feel really resentful, and upset with him. He thinks it is because I think he will cheat or something, but really it is because I can't even go into the bathroom without someone needing something and he just keeps making plans that even if I wanted to, I couldn't be a part of.