Advise please, single mom & confused!

[jaimie1489]

First my daughter is two years old.Around a year ago & dude split. We were (are) very young and I kinda grew up and he didn't. His mom loved my daughter, so I began letting her see her almost every other weekend. Well, his mom told me how much my daughter's dad played with her on the weekends. She was lieing. Finally, a few weeks ago she told me, he didn't live there that he lived with his g/f and her kid & that they were haveing a baby. (Both of them jobless.) I was shocked, slightly hurt, but more for my daughter.

I support her by myself fully. I promised my self never to have any more children so that I could give her everything she deserves. I feel like if he would have cared about our daughter he wouldn't have another child, esp since he can't support one, why have two?

His mom is pretty great and all but we also disagree in religious views, amougnst other things...


I'm thinking of getting full custody before my daughter gets hurt.

So I'd like some advice from someone who has been threw anything similar.

[samee.d.brown]

oh girl definitely full custody. If he was lying to you about seeing her when she went over to his mom's house, that's nonsense. I would fight it for sure. I didn't have to worry about custody, my ex said i could have her. heartbreaking. He went to go live with his new woman and hasn't seen her since.

[lonesomesmomma]

I have full custody of my son with any and all visitations at my discretion, and let me tell you what: BEST. THING. I. EVER. DID!

I still let his father's family (and his father) see him. My boy loves them and as long as that's how he feels I'm going to go with it. In the long run it will be up to our children on if they want to feel betrayed by either parent (whether it be you for "keeping" her from him or to her father for walking out on her). So until then I see no problem in letting grandma keep an open good relationship with her. She sounds like a loving grandparent. As for the lie she made up, maybe she wanted to believe that because she, herself is hurt her own son has nothing to do with her grandchild. It sounds harmless enough (coming from the grandmother I mean).

The father's "other" family is none of your business nor is it under any of your control. This took me a long time to accept and understand. My son's father went off and had a child with another woman, and he doesn't even financially support or emotionally support our son. All I can do is keep moving forward and show my boy all the love a mother can throw at their child and hope he understands why I work so damn hard to give him everything and why it only comes from me. You want to give your daughter everything humanly possible. And that is wonderful! Good for you... the only person's actions, words, thoughts, etc... you can control is your own. If he wants to go off with someone else and leave your daughter behind... That's his loss, and your daughter will learn that in due time. But it will not benefit your relationship with her if you force that conclusion on her. Trust me!

Let her see grandma... as long as grandma's willing. Forget about the father. Surround her with the people that love her.

Best of luck!

[Aydens mommy07]

It is so important to file legal custody to protect your child. Shame on men who think they can walk away from an innocent child.

[MrsBurke]

Definitely file for a full custody... Cruel world sad to see fathers who forgets their children..

[mum2mum]

hello jaimie, for the love and care you have for your daughter, you definitely deserve full custody. I have some resources on Child Custody Strategies and Single Parenting for you at http://www.mumsafari.com/for-parents (scroll to middle). Hope it help and happy parenting

p/s.bear in mind that his mom may want to take custody of the child since she loves her too and may be more experience and financially sound.

[marichriaddi]

wow. i went through the exact same thing.

[alunsina]

Hi Jaimie! I haven't really experienced your case so I wouldn't know what is best? All I want to share basically is that be strong for your kid. It is sad that you have to do it by yourself, but the good part too, is that you are still young and from here you can chart you and your daughter's life towards what's better.

Whatever decision you will choose, don't regret it and focus all your positive intentions towards making it. We're here for you!