Am I being Selfish?

[mycrazyone]

rethought the whole thing and not worring about it anymore

[Newmom!]

I personally would want to be there for my child's first airplane ride, and for the first time going to such awesome places, especailly since you will get a lot more out of seeing her reaction than hearing about it later. If you are okay with her going, let her go. But if you want to tell your family you would rather wait until you can join them (maybe you can get time off during winter break) I think that is very reasonable too. I didn't go to those places until I was 12. You are not depriving her of anything if she just sticks close to home as young as she is. Again, let her go if you want, but if you want to go with her, then make sure you work it out with your family so you are there.

[Newmom!]

I just read your other post about how your MIL and SIL are very controlling of how you interact with your daughter. Since that is the case, I change what I posted earlier. This is the time for you to put your foot down. Your daughter will be fine if she does not go to Disneyland (my best friend's first time was when I took her in college, Now she is a frequent traveler and a very happy person with a great husband and kids - she was not deprived of anything by not going to Disneyland as a child).

Point is, you are responsible for your daughter. They may be able to provide her with more than what you can give her right now, but you are providing her with what she needs. A loving home with people who care about her, food on the table, and a stable (I hope) environment. The extras, like Disney, can wait until your and your bf are able to give them to her yourself.

Let your in-laws know that you appreciate all they want to do for your daughter, but that you want the chance to be able to do it for her. They got to/will get to do it for their own children - and you want the same for your family. If you let them take her now, it will be almost impossible for you to ever say no to them again. You need to politely and respectfully, but firmly, put your foot down and let them know you are the mom and you have the right to be able to experience your daughter's first - whether it is her first bathroom accident, first friend, first zit, or first trip to Disneyland.

Wish you luck, you have a hard task in front of you, but if you can do this you can start to have your daughter "back". Also, get your bf to back you up on this. He should be the one to tell them "no" and stand up for you and the family you have together.

[mycrazyone]

thank you. she does live in a stable healthy environment

[lipsenlippien]

WE ALL HAVE A DREAM GIRL/GUY AND SO DO I. I AM TAKEN RIGHT NOW BUT I KNOW THAT ONE DAY I DON'T WANT TO BE MARRYING MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I WANT A GUY WHO'S A VIRGIN.
Pure Hoodia

[Joe the Man]

I do not think this is selfish at all. I would not want others taking my child for his/her first vacation without me along. Firsts should be reached with parents, except when unavoidable. They should understand that as well.

[big-mouth-burgher]

You're not being selfish at all. I know that I would want to be with my child when they experience their first plan ride. I'm not sure why your MIL and SIL are taking your daughter on a trip so far from home, but being her mother you do have the right to tell them no, they can't take her.

[Newmom!]

Referrign to your second post about your daughter preferring your in-laws to you. At her age, it is not unusual for a child to prefer one parent over the other. IN your case, since she spends a lot of time with the in-laws she might "prefer" them to do certain things for her. This can be a normal stage of development, but that doesn't mean you have to let her have her G-ma instead of you when you are around. Read about how to keep yourself in your child's life when they prefer the other parent, and follow the ideas as they apply to you (such as when to give it and when to not). As I've said before, you have a tough situation in front of you. I hope your boyfriend can talk to his family for the sake of the family you two have created together.