Help 4 year old boy wont poop on potty

[keenie123]

My son is 4 years and 3 months old. He will pee on the potty with very few accidents if in undies. But if put in pull up or diaper he thinks he can pee in those. He refuses to poop on the potty instead poops in undies, pull ups, diapers, or even just in random places of house if you let him run around nude. I dont know what to do anymore. Tried rewards and punishments and everything. I took away chocolate milk and chicken nuggets to get him to pee on the potty and that worked wonderfully. Now he just wont poop on the potty (big or little) I have even tried a stool softener to make sure he isnt having a hard time being constipated. Please I need some advice....

[NaomiK]

Do not punish a potty training child. Ever. Negative reinforcement doesnt really work with potty training. Positive reinforcement is where its at! Potty training, especially pooping on the potty, can be very scary for kids. And punishing them when they dont get it right makes it even more scary. Us adults, we have been using the potty for as long as we can remember, but for the kids, its ALL new. They have NEVER had to even think about peeing before.

My brother didnt start pooping on the potty until he was 4 so dont worry, it will happen! My mom said she would just tell him that its ok if he wants to poop in a pullup. It was his choice, pull up or potty, just not in his undies. And for the longes, he would ask her for a pullup when he had to go. Then he just decided he didnt want to do that anymore.

My daughter has just recently started pooping on the potty. I reward her with a couple M&Ms and if she has an accident I just tell her its ok, maybe we can make it to the potty next time.

[raqueli88]

I'm sorry Naomik, I do not agree. Punishment does work, specially with a child that old. If he can talk, he understands. I potty trained my 2 year old neighbor (his mom didn't care, and the preschool wouldn't let him go back unless potty trained). After a couple of "accidents" I got tired of cleaning him, and when he poop in his underwear I made him clean himself. He started gagging when he saw the poop and didn't want to wipe himself. I told him he wasnt allowed to leave the bathroom untill clean. He cried and cried and ended up cleaning himself and never used diapers again.

[itizfinished]

Sounds like your neighbor boy had a very traumatic experience, raqueli88. I'll bet that'll come back to hurt him later. The ends don't always justify the means. NaomiK's advice is right on. It sounds like the 4-year-old was making progress, and positive reinforcement and a little patience is all that it was going to take (It's now November so I'm guessing he's already potty trained.)

[yayamom]

With my son, he did the same thing; pee on the potty but would hide and poop. You could hear him and see him (liked underneath the kitchen table). When I heard him, I would ask if he had to poop. Most time he would say no (he was 2). Never shame the child. What I found that worked with him was the book Once Upon a Potty for a boy by Alana Frankel. I would read it to him only when he was on his potty seat. He loved it!! Also had a potty Elmo that stayed in the bathroom and he could play with it on his potty. Did the sticker rewards and small coins he liked them as well but nothing like the book. Sometimes if he'd poop in his pullup, I would empty it into the potty and sit him on it without him knowing and when he got up...there it was. Then just go nuts. He loved that as well. And within a few months was going number 2 in his potty. Good luck!!

[pharmer28]

Yea my son did the exact same thing at the age of three. He would poop in his pull ups otr undies and then hide them in the house like it was a Easter egg!. One morning i woke up and found a giant terd in my laundry basket! haha. But eventually after me telling him multple time and him seeing mommy and daddy do it, he finally started to do it on his own. It has to be when hes ready. Good Luck!