Okay it has been a long time since I've posted anything but I just got my divorce finalized and have come in contact with a guy I went to school with from 5th grade til we graduated. He is amazing and loves my daughter to death and takes such good care of us, I know I just got divorced but we want to get married and soon.....Good or bad idea??
Is there a reason you want to get married again so soon?
BTW, I forgot when was your divorce finalized?
*TTC CYCLE #40*
Because I have found the right guy who treats me and my daughter better than her dad has ever dreamed of!! My divorce was final on the 23rd of April.
Sept, you need to turn your pm's on. I would like to invite you to another forum.
My advice, live together for a year or so before you get married.
Good idea Charliesmommy.
I am with charliesmommy. I would wait & live together at least a year.
I got married about 3 years after my divorce, but we didn't have kids together. I just worry about the baby. If it were just you I would say okay, but with a baby in the picture it is a different story! I am not saying this guy isn't great or won't work out, but you haven't been together that long & you are fresh out of a divorce! Give yourself & this new relationship some time!
*TTC CYCLE #40*
Well I would love to live with him before we get married, BUT my family is really mormon and they already said that they wouldn't approve of us doing that, which really irritates me. I should be able to do what I want but I am always getting lectured about something and on Sunday my parents are always saying Mollie we missed you at church today. He told me that he wants to get about 30 grand in the bank before we do get married " I don't want to start out our marriage being broke babe" so we aren't getting married too soon.
I got divorced when my daughter was 2. I started dating a great guy when she was 5 and I married him when she was 7. She's now 10, I'm still happily married to this man and he is a great stepfather, but I would recommend waiting. One thing my husband told me when we got engaged was that he was so impressed that I'd taken the time to be on my own after the divorce and really get some perspective, etc. Also, he was glad that during our dating period, I did not allow him to sleep over unless my daughter was visiting her dad. I always wanted her to feel that she was #1 in my life. My husband said he really respected that. We now have a 2 year old boy together and my daughter is enjoying a stepfather and brother.
Also, recommend you ensure that you and your boyfriend agree on how much you want him involved with discipline of your child, etc. Some couples don't enter into blended family with same ideas on that & I've seen it cause issues with friends of mine.
You might want to take it easy, wait a little longer, know him more and see how it goes. Sometimes when you think you already know him that well after marriage you will discover more...
Oh yeah I know we aren't getting married right away I'm just saying I found a great guy and I'm ready to marry him, just not right now. He doesn't discipline Chloe at all, he'll make her mind but in other ways. He is very good to her and he is very patient with her as well. I've known him since 5th grade, but what I learn everyday being with him makes me just fall more in love with him as each day goes by. My ex would never really show any affection and Justin can't stop hugging me and holding me. Blake also used to talk really mean to me and Justin never even tries to be mean to me. He also told me to never change.
just keep in mind that when dating people have their best foot foward. you don't truely know someone until you've been living together for an extended time. also blending families is hard. I'm a step mother to two wonderful boys and bonding with them and being conjenial (sp) to their mother is no walk in the park.
It sounds as though you've already made up your mind anyway so my advice to you is to just keep your eyes open. and you need to sit down with your fiance and set hte bounderies between him and your stepdaughter as far as how involved he'll be and how he'll be allowed to discipline and when etc....
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray