My wife and I had talked about maybe having kids down the road, but last night this whole thing just got very real.
We're both adults (33 and 31), together for 13 years and make a decent living so I know we'll be fine, but I'm still freaked out. We are planners and not getting to plan this has me a bit on edge.
The little lady told me I can't talk to my friends about this for a couple months so naturally I'm turning to complete strangers on the internet for some advice and support.
What am I in for?
What do you wish you had known?
What should I be doing right now?
In short: HELP!
Usually people wait until they see an OB to confirm the pregnancy and until the mother reaches 12 weeks in her pregnancy. After this, the chance of miscarriage goes down drastically - so this is when people start spreading the news.
Congrats!!! You'll be fine!
Accompany your wife to those early Dr.'s appointments, make sure she is eating healthy and taking prenatal vitamins, and help her... She might be tired, run down, nauseous, sore boobs, and dealing with food aversions...
Get the book "What to expect when you are expecting" or something similar. It will help you to know what to expect :-)
Also, you have 9 months to plan - don't panic.
Blehmier has great advice, be sure to go to all the appointments. My husband loved hearing the heartbeat at every visit (I did too).
Look at the bright side, this first kid will be out of the house before you are 50. That will give you time to enjoy the "older years" before you get too old :-)
The first trimester can really suck, so just be there for her if she needs it (mints/mint gum really helps the mild nausea).
Consider yard sale-ing for baby equipment, go to www.cpsc.gov to make sure the used stuff wasn't recalled, and find out if your community has used children clothing stores - usually stuff in great condition for a cheep price.
In 3 months your friends can give you the rest of the advice you need. Don't worry, you'll figure it all out.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!
Thanks. I'm starting to get used to the idea. Just going to take a little while. I guess it's a good thing they give you some time to prepare. :-)
If you find out you're having a girl, read "She Calls Me Daddy." My cousin (who has a daughter) has reread it several times.
Be ready for your wife to lose her mind. Being pregnant makes women crazy at times. No offense women but the hormones get a little crazy. Just be supportive and don't say anything when that happens. It isn't her fault. I think the actual parenting part comes as you go. As long as you are ready mentally it will all make sense once the baby is there with you. I didnt know what I was getting into until I was in it. It turned out to be harder and more fun than I expected.
My random thoughts...
You are soon to learn what it means to be someone's everything. Your wife is going to need you to be her rock and soldier. But, don't forget you are a part of this process and you do not have to bend to every Tom, Dick and Harry whim in the event that she might go postal. Be firm, but forgiving. While 9 months seems like a short time... In truth, when you finally reach the end it will have seemed like forever.
Also, This pregnancy isn't all about her - only most about her. Ask questions, go to doctor appointments and be involved. AND, find someone to talk to - a brother, uncle or friend that may understand where you are or where you've been.