The Lonely Mom

[Sasha at Parenting.com]

We want to know: Have you ever had a parenting crisis (your sitter called in sick, you needed advice on a parenting issue) and had no one to turn to?

[palmettogirl73]

I am a mother who works full time, but I work from home. I feel like I don't fit in the "working woman's" world because I don't go out to an office and I certainly don't fit into the stay-at-home mom world, because I can't dedicate all day to my daughter. it can be very lonely because there are very few people that can relate to anything I go through because I don't fit into the typical mommy mold.

People think working from home is so great, but it can be a real struggle. There is a major lack of adult contact, but you still have the guilt of working full time. In addition, a lot of people don't really think you work as hard working from home, but it's actually the opposite - you end up working more because you never take breaks to talk to co-workers, rarely go out to lunch, etc. However, it does provide flexibility that some other "at-an-office" jobs wouldn't, so that's a plus.

It's lonely being in between the "mommy worlds"....

[rebecca0217]

I too work from home and I totally agree that it is lonely. Sometimes it is frustrating trying to do be both Mom and worker at the same time.

I think the loneliest time was when my Hubby was working out of town. He would leave Monday mornings early and return friday night, sometimes pretty late. I was at home with two boys, ages 1 and 8 months and was pregnant with our third. I felt so alone some nights struggling to find time to clean house, do my work, study for my tests (I was training at the same time) play with my kids and maintain some level of my own identity as a person. I remember feeling overwhelmed and depressed having no help when I felt sick and my boys needed me for something. You can't explain to young ones why you can't play with them! Fourtunatley, not every day was like that and I did have family who helped out on occasion. Although I admit that I felt that the fact that I needed help meant that I was a bad mother and that made me feel worse! Fortunatley, my family came through for me and eventually Hubby stopped working out of town!

[jennabee1985]

I'm a single Mom who works full-time. My parents are a great help and support but they live 90 miles away. My best friend does live in town, comes over 2-3 times a week for supper but doesn't spend the night. As most mothers know, its the nights that are the hardest. Between 4-6 months old, my son had 5 double ear infections. It seemed that no matter what I would do, he was in pain and would let me know it. At the time, he was waking up every 45-60 minutes. Most nights, I would get up with him, rock him, nurse him, sing to him, do whatever I could do calm him down. Usually, I'd end up holding him while he slept since being slightly elevated relieved the pain. While I was happy to do this for him, it meant hardly any sleep for me causing me to be overcome with exhaustion and obvious sleep-deprivation. One night he was up every 30 minutes just screaming and I couldn't do anything to calm him down. Finally, around 4AM, he cried himself to sleep. I just rocked him, tears streaming down my face, praying for guidance and a little bit of sleep. I have never felt so alone or helpless in my life. Right as I was about to lose it completey (full-blown waterworks with a panic attack), my little man heaved a deep sigh, reached up and rubbed my cheek in his deep sleep. I couldn't help but smile, knowing that even though I may feel alone, I will never be alone, I will always have my son and that is all that matters.

[brenninger18]

I got pregnant at 18. Although my family and husband were a huge support system, and my friends tried to be, i felt lonely. I was a "party" teenager so of course that is what all of my friends wanted to do. My best friend tried to understand, but whenever we would talk, she would talk about the gossip and all the party stories when I wanted to talk about pregnancy. I knew a couple other friends who had kids, but they were all still into partying, and I wasn't-at all. Then, when my son was 3 months, my husband deployed. That is when I felt the most alone.

I am now 22 and my husband and I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. He got medically retired out of the Air Force and we couldn't be happier with our boys! I now have friends who have children and don't party! It's great. However, sometimes, I feel like a lonely mom, but of course wouldn't change anything!

[DarK_LadY-KiTiaRa]

As a Stay at home mom I do feel lonely must of the time. I got married and moved to US 6 years ago, Leaving my parents, sisters and my life long friends.
I worked for the first 3 yrs, and i really worked hard...too hard to make any friends.... must of the girls I met at work where teenagers, single who only thought about partying and hooking up... I had other goals.
Then I got pregnant, and quit work.... and for some reason I thought I would be too busy to realize how lonely I was (being married is great, I love my husband, but he works, and sometimes u need that female in your life... a friend, a sister a mom) but then, the emergencies come.... you wake up with the worst flu in history...who is there to give you a hand with the crying baby??, Your toddler is going through a hard time crying everynight, u are 8 months preganant..already having a hard time falling asleep...and who has to get up at 6 am with baby# 1??your toddler just fell, and your newborn is crying his head out...you dont know which one needs more attention or observation ... MOM! where are you? (7,000 miles away!) .... Or just those moments when after making breakfast for 3 year old and feeding a 10 month old, you sit at the table to eat your own breakfast and face yourslef with the challenge of holding a conversation with a toddler or watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse.... oh, how I miss those adult conversations while drinking coffee and talking about our plans for the day..... I think that is the hardest.... the loneliness... I actually think I am losing my conversation skills, or my adult mode.... all I know is how to sing, how to make funny noises and faces while getting things done.... Hopefully one day, when I return to work... I wont be sticking my tongue out, or crossing my eyes while making copies...

[MrsBurke]

Being a stay at home mom and away from my family, relatives and friends and lived in a city with no one except your husband..yes I did experienced it but it's a good thing there's books I even attended seminars about parenting and online resources helped a lot.

[dfagre1983]

I have been a single mother since I basically conceived and it is lonely. I have dated and dated, and its difficult to find the right guy. Its also difficult to find new friends with other children that I can get along with and spend time with. I actually became so excited when my sister had a baby and now that her baby is two she is asking ME for advise which is awsome!!! The girls I work with have kids too and they are older and more experienced, because we all talk to eachother, if I have a hard time making a decision I tell them what I am thinking about and they give their advice. I have to say when a babysitter calls out, its rough!!! I dont trust too many people with my children, and am always afraid of finding a decent babysitter. Its tough!

Devynn
www.singlemotherscandoitall.blogspot.com

[TLCombest]

I do some freelance writing from home and also have three children. This is a lonely job - recently I started blogging for a type of release. I have met several moms online that feel the same way. I don't want to spam but I think you would benefit from visiting my blog and joining in on the conversation. It is not getting out of the house but it is the next best thing.

www.tlcombest.wordpress.com

[lonesomesmomma]

I'm a single mom to a wonderful 6 year old boy. I work full time in a very demanding job (especially in the late spring, and all summer months). I sure gets frustrating when I have to work late or on weekends. I mean I'm doing this because I am the only source of income for us... no one else is there to support us financially. And when I need help the most it seems I get looked down upon or just left high & dry with the "You decided to have him." I mean c'mon! I'm not going out and partying or whoring around I'm providing for my son! So I feel the not having help. It sure gets frustrating and lonely.

But I look at my boy and how he's excelling at school and what not, sure makes those rough times worth it!