I know I fake it as a wife but as a Mom I'm not as sure. Sometimes I wonder what my real feelings are for my son. I often ponder if I love my son because I'm "supposed to" or that its expected of me from society. I know this is gonna sound horrible of me but sometimes I find taking care of my son to be the most burdening thing I can possibly think of. My life has never really been about me but others and taking care of my husband and son is the epicenter of my life and I despise that. I hate that every action or thought I have must be towards someone else and never myself. I constantly feel guilty for feeling this way, especially when there are so many wonderful women out there that can't have kids and want them so badly!
I fake it every day. I fake enjoying being a mom. I have 4 boys, all I ever wanted was one girl. I fake being interested in all the crap the boys like - dinosaurs, trains, cars, sports, trucks, dirt, pokemon etc. etc. even though I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than listen to them drone on and on about it. I don't want the kids to know how miserable I am, so every day I plaster on a smile and organize activities, excursions and playdates. Then I cry myself to sleep and do it again the next morning.
It's baffling to me that my friends with girls actually get to enjoy themselves for real. They watch princess movies, do cute crafts (and yes, you can do crafts with boys but there is nothing cute about it!), play with dolls, visit American Girl and go shopping for adorable outfits.
I'm so sorry you feel that way, and I REALLY hope you didn't actually stab yourself with that fork ;-) I have three sons myself and I actually love it! I grew up with one sister and two close female cousins, so this new peak into "boy world" is fascinating to me! I think it helps though that I have always been more of a camper and a jeans and t-shirt gal myself though!
Something I have found with my boys is - they DO like some "girl" things when they don't realize they are supposed to be for girls only! They went through a phase where tinkerbell was their favorite movie They like to paint and color, we make sock puppets or silly masks together, they like to play dress up with costumes (although they are generally super heros, knights or pirates!) and they LOVE to help me bake in the kitchen! Baking together is one of my favorite together activities I share with my boys! They all have their own apron and think it is such a treat, and I am excited to be raising boys that will be able to cook for themselves someday! (their wives can thank me later! haha)
I will admit there are times I have felt sad about the idea that I will never take a daughter dress shopping for a dance, or out for an afternoon at a hair salon, or teach her how to put on make up! But I also really enjoy being the only female representative in our house! The best part - when the boys are all pretending to be knights...I get to be the princess
It's not so much faking, but sometimes I feel like we put on the "being a mom is the greatest thing in the world" face even when we are having a no sleep, work was stressful, and all of our friends are going out to enjoy a fun night together that we can't attend because we don't have a babysitter and now we can just see all the smiling pictures on Facebook for weeks kind of days. I'm very happy that I'm now a mom, but I really miss also being a duty-free adult.
I have a daughter and It is NOT all cute and fun! She is a terrible two yr old and gets into more trouble then my son ever has in his life! I have more grey hair because she has scared me numerous times with the dangerous stunts she tries. I love my kids but would have a million boys over another girl any day!
above it. i don't mean that in a condescending way but we're humans, only capable of so much in a day. do your best, don't take it. the only people who put real pressure on us do not know how hard it is or they do and they dislike it so they make it a competition.
I fake it as a "mom" whenever I think I need to be more caring about my relationship with my children. "Moms" usually do so much better at that than us guys. My mother recently died and it is sad to see the loss of inter-connectivity that mom always made sure to maintain among her grown 'kids'.
I will attempt to fill the void losing my mother caused and try to fill that role now for my family. Being divorced twice, I will try to build a mom-like connection with my granddaughter, daughter, and both of my sons.