Baby Number Three? Need Some Advice

[TrvlGirl]

I'm looking for some advice from mom's of three kids on whether to have another baby.

We have two boys - currently 28 months and 4 months old and the discussion about my husband "getting fixed" came up and now the doctor's office is calling to confirm an appointment and I'm hesitating.

I'll admit I was a little disappointed when I found out our second child was another boy as I wanted a girl - but I wouldn't trade him for the world. I know that by getting pregnant again it could be another boy and I'm okay with that gamble. When I was younger (I'm currently 38 which is another factor) I wanted three children, but over the years working as a travel consultant previously I saw the struggle and additional costs for families with three kids and decided on two kids. But when I was packing away the smaller baby clothes from our last son I was very sad that it would be the last time I would see those clothes again and hold a newborn.

I'm just wondering about the challenges faced by families of five that families of four don't face as often: such as travelling; family schedules such as hockey, soccer, dancing, etc; school and daycare. I live in Canada so I'm still on maternity leave until August and then have to work at least six months before I qualify for leave again so it would be at least until January or February before I could become pregnant again.

Any comments, suggestions or opinions would be appreciated - I'm looking for any opinions to help make our decision easier. My husband has no opinion and will support what ever I decide - which is making this oh so much easier!?!

Thanks!

[mrbradford]

wow this hard.... I am the mom to 3 boys 11, 3, and 2 years old. I love my boys more than anything but 3 kids is not easy. It is so much more work than 2. I always wanted 3 kids also. Once you have your third you cannot imagine your life without him/her. I wanted a girl each time I was pregnant, but now I am so happy having my boys.
The only difficulty with travel or anything else is one extra kid to keep your eye on. I would say to go for it. Once you are done having kids, you will not have any doubts. I was unsure about having more until my 3rd came along. Now I know I am done, my family is complete

[TrvlGirl]

Thanks so much - I keep thinking that if I was sure that two was enough I would feel done. Or at least my bestfriend that has two kids knew that with the birth of her second one she knew she was done - but I don't feel like that. So maybe that is the decision made for me - if I felt done I wouldn't be questioning the possibility of a third one.

[sassigrits]

Hello!

I have three beautiful daughters, 3, 18 mos and 2 mos. Now, as long as I can remember I had wanted a large family. I am a navy daughter and spouse. My siblings were my companions during our many moves and I wanted my children to always have family. Saying that, I purposely wanted our children close in age, and can tell you its a struggle.

My eldest child was almost two when her sister was born. To me, I set a standard. I couldn't bend to pick up my eldest and put her into the carseat at 9 months pregnant. But she could climb in, and I realized that that was necessary. We started potty training her shortly after her second birthday, and I realized that not changing two diapers was also a good thing. I got pregnant the month after I stopped nursing my second daughter, she was five months when we stopped.

The pregnancy of the third child brought changes. We needed a bigger car, and a minivan was not for us. We ended up getting a suburban, which makes us happy, but is a gas guzzler. This has limited my outings some. We bought a house for our growing family.

My husband and I have reached a point where we can say that we want more children. It is difficult for me (I'm a stay at home mom) because anywhere I go alone, I have a child who can walk holding my hand sometimes. But tantrums are unpredictable in her and when she throws one and runs off into the parking lot while I'm carrying the baby's carseat is a scary thought. And this has happened for us.

Our home is a 3 bedroom and all three girls share one room. Ours is another and my husbands grandmother has the third. We wanted a boy each time. We're still hoping for a boy. We've decided to hold off until we have a larger home, which might be a year or two. Looking back, that seems about right. My eldest daughter has been such a help the youngest. She is more playmate with her middle sister, but she likes to hold the baby, and comfort her, and throw her diapers away. She can inform me of mistakes of my middle daughter (like throwing the baby moniter in the toilet)

I think children are a blessing. If you look at other newborns (and you say you have a young one yet) and feel like you many be missing out not having more, don't call it an end. You can always have the snips out later. Reversals are only about 1/4 effective if you change your mind. Most moms that come up to me are excited and want to hold the baby and they oooh and aaah, but then comment "I miss them when they were that little! But not enough to want another!" If your feelings are doubtful, wait and see. God Bless you and your husbands decision.