I just left my job to better raise my 3 children and I am totally at my wits end. My middle child and only boy is 5 and out of control. He deliberately disobeys me, runs thru the house like a maniac and will not leave his sisters alone and it's almost non-stop. Whenever I try to discipline him (usually time out) he goes nuts, sometimes hits himself, laughs or makes awful comments. He doesn't listen to me, puts his fingers in his ears or covers his face. After all day of this I lose my patience and just have to walk away from him leaving him to run thru the house like a maniac all over again. My husband works and is in school fulltime so I am pretty much on my own. I cannot handle all summer this way. Please help!!! I am desperate.
i have a 4 year old step son who is also very, for a lake of better word lets just say hyper. He is into everything, comstently. He hits his younger brother, who is only 2, closed and open-handed. Talks back, Doesnt mind me or his father, or his mother to our knowledge. I'm not saying that your child has a behoavior problem that needs medicine but what I am suggesting is that you talk to his pediatrician about it and see if he needs to see a therapist, our son Brayden does, or if he needs medication, or son doesn't take medication but his doctor has said that he will more than likely need ridlen or adderol when he begins school. I know that spankings do not work %80 of the time with Brayden , but time-outs are effective because he can't play. Most doctors say a minute for every year old they are but with Brayden having such a severe behavioral problem he gets up to ten minutes sometimes. Also another thing that has worked pretty well is taking away his favorite things, whether it be for 5 minutes or for the whole day. It just depends on what he did. One thing that we recently started is a rewards system. When hes good he gets a cheap dollar toy, kids don't know the difference, or he gets priveledges that he normally wouldn't have. That's about all the advice I can offer to you because we are still in a learning stage as well, but I hope that what I have suggested helps.
I think I can help you. It sounds as if your child might be reacting to your employment as well as being the middle child. Research shows that middle children often have difficulties adjusting emotionally.
My recommendations are as follows:
1. It is very important that you work with your child on a list of rules and consequences that are specific to the individual rules posting them in a public room of your home. If your child is not reading yet, it would be a good idea to select a symbol or a picture pasting it on your poster board to help your child clearly understand the rules. In addition, it would be a good idea for you to review these roles with your child on a daily basis. When reviewing the rules, it is best that you have him recite the rules to you the rather than you reciting the rules to him. By him reciting the rules to you would be a clear indication as to whether he understands the rules or not.
In addition to your rules and consequences, it is vitally important that you set up a token economy system based on rewards that your son could earn after he chooses to engage in appropriate behavior.
For physically out of control behavior, there is a safe holding procedure that you can use called the Baskethold restraint procedure.
It is crucial that you be consistent enforcing your household rules and consequences without becoming manipulated by your child's behavior.
If you feel that your child's behaviors are detrimental to his safety as well as the safety of others or that emotional problems might be hindering his behavior, I would recommend that you have your child evaluated by a mental health professional in your area. A mental health professional would be able recommend a further course of treatment. If you do not know of any mental health professionals in your area, I would advise that you consult with your child's pediatrician as he or she could recommend you to a specific mental health therapist.
Good luck and I hope that your child's behaviors improve!