I can definately relate to your feelings of frustration. I started potty training my son last summer when he turned 2 and it was about a joke. Nothing worked. I tried everything, read books, etc. I just kept trying to get him to go on the potty, he'd fight me, argue, etc. Peed on it a few times but didn't catch on or anything. Then one morning last week he said "mommy I need to sit on my potty" and that was that. Has only had 3-4 accidents in a week and went on the potty 45 times! (literally, we give him a sticker each time on his "potty chart") When she's ready she'll do it.
It really sounds like she just isn't ready. She will not go forever wanting to go in her diaper, especially once she gains full awareness of the movements of her pee and poop. Most children do not even become potty trained until they are 3 years old, so pushing her at this age will do no good until she is ready to do it herself.
A doctor once told me that an interesting connection in the brain is between awareness of needing to go to the bathroom and the ability to effectively maneuver a tricycle. If you can observe how fluid she is on her trike, maybe that will help you gauge where she is developmentally.
Best of luck!
Thanks again to all. Hayley had been doing very well and other than the occasional night time accidents she picked up on what she needed to do after we took her pull ups away. Now we have a hard time keeping clothes on her at all. But she uses the potty and I am content with the trade at home