im nine months pregnet and expecting eny day now.the father of my baby wont be thier. well he really hasnt been her. were not together and knowing that my son might not have a father figure in his life worries me.im afraid one day when hes older he might ask why dont i have a dad. how can i make it comfortible to raise him without it leading to a problem.
Take a deep breath and deal with each day as it comes. I'd say the same thing to ANYONE about to have a baby - especially a first baby. Children bring along enough questions and you will question EVERYTHING you do. There's nothing you can do about the Father not being in the picture and so worrying about it isn't worth your time. Rely on your friends, family, community, and co-workers to help you out when you need it.
I was in a similar situation - "father" was a no-good deadbeat even before baby came and I knew I didn't want him around. I feel very fortunate that I didn't have to deal with someone I didn't like. I got to make all the decisions without having to worry or compromise with anyone. Being a parent is hard enough, don't beat yourself up. You and Baby will be perfectly fine. He will be well adjusted and you'll both be so in love with each other that you'll be grateful that you don't have to share him with anyone and he won't have to give up any mommy time.
Bask in your baby and your juicy love for him. You'll do great!!!
I would say don't worry about your baby being ill-adjusted. My sister is raising two boys on her own. Their dad was around a little until they were a couple years old, but now only sees them sporadically. She doesn't bother telling them about all the crap he did (and does), and they're perfectly happy not hearing about it. To them it's like mommy is the parent and every once in a while this guy they call daddy comes around and buys them stuff. They are friends with other families who are headed by a single mom, so to them it's the norm. I agree that it being just you and your child will create a special bond between the two of you that really doesn't exist with other kinds of relationships. He'll be so spoiled on your love!
I'm doing just fine with my son, you just have to take it step by step. You have a long ways to go before he even really understands the concept of "daddy"--much less why he doesn't have one. Things may change, and you could find a great guy to at least fill in the role if his real dad doesn't want him.
I am so happy to see all the support and encouragement, well done ladies, well done!
1st of all lady learn how to spell and he will be fine all he needs to know is that you love him
I'm a single mom and my little girl gets all my attn and she's in honors. Just make sure to put the kid in preschool! Lol I'm sure you'll be fine, there's always the gov't to make sure you get child support too. Single moms in society today is much more common than years before. Don't worry about anyone that calls you a welfare baby momma either. As long as you're not doing drugs and the money goes to the kid and you buy good food and support the baby in a positive way then you're much better than a lot of single moms out there. Don't worry honey, women are the child bearers for a reason, we're stronger!
I'm sure she was distraught, be nice!
Thank you everybody for the support your right there is along ways to go until he talks and even writes now i know everything will be ok. He will be ok because Im going to be a strong mom like all the other single moms out thier. Its more bonding time for me and my little angel. If other moms can do it I can to. Stress is off.Thanks for the edvice it really helped.
I just read through your other posts and realize you are a teen mom. I imagine you continue to live at home. I hope that means your own father will be there to be a positive male role model for your baby. Either way, be sure to have a male role model for you son. You don't have to go out and "get one" right away, but if you become friends with a good guys who enjoy being with your child that will be very positive for your son. These men don't have to be romantically involved with you (might be better if they are not, at least right now) but just simply a guy who can positively influence your child as he gets older. I wish you the best of luck, parenting can be hard, I'm sure being single is harder yet, but as you watch your little one grow you know all the challenges are worth it.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!