I started doing play dates with another mom I met. He 5 year olds a tatle tail but really doesn't act up for me. Since I have been doing these play dates my son has been a snot! I don't know what to do. He demolishes everything he touchs, gets into every thing etc. What do I do to? I am at my wits end! (oh btw I am a SHAM)
Teach him. If he's new to this whole play date thing, or even just new to this particular friend, he may feel at a loss. Before the friend even shows up, expain what they can do together. Maybe have at least one structured activity ready (like play-doh time with Mom, or a craft/cooking project). If he does something naughty, pull him aside (be sure not to embarrass him in front of a friend) and ask him why he did it...have him think about what he could have done instead (help him)...tell him what the consequences will be if it happens again. Maybe since the other child is older he's trying to show off? Whatever the reason for the misbehavior, I would just teach him how to behave. Give him some time to learn, and hold him accountable for knowingly doing something wrong. Good luck!
One great resource for high-strung toddlers struggling with self-control are these "social videos". They are similar to the "social books" that you can make yourself (pasting pictures on paper and writing "nice" captions for you to read to your child. It helps them see themselves doing nice things and re-inforces nice behavior.)
The video's, "It's Fun to Be Nice" or "I Love to Share" are personalized with your kids picture, so they really like it. You can get them on Amazon.com. Try using keyword "Kidaddles", or go to the home site www.kidaddles.com
The "It's Fun to Be Nice" really worked for my 3 year old, hope it can work for others, too.