When I found out I was pregnant I was more than ecstatic and so ready to be a mom. It was an unexpected pregnancy that happened on my wedding night and even though we weren't ready financially yet, we were ready mentally.
On the ninth week of pregnancy I started spotting and then miscarried the next day. I was at the hospital with my husband when it happened and was scared and after it happened was in tears and didn't know what was going on. They did a D&C and sent me home. I bled for 2 weeks and had some nasty things come out of me and was scared that something was wrong with me. My doctor then put me on a medication to get the bleeding to stop and said that I was ok to try again after a normal menstral cycle. Its been five months since the miscarriage but even though I want to have another kid and we have been trying, I feel like it will never happen for me and that if I did get pregnant something would happen again.
I have never fully healed from losing the baby and need some support from other moms like me who have had a difficult time so I know that I am not the only one out there.
Harmony Joy O'Donnell - Missed since 9/19/2009
Time will ease the pain but it stays with you every moment of your life. I have had two very different miscarriages and because of the pattern will not be trying ever again to get pregnant. The anniversary of my first is coming up in the next day or so and it is hard to believe that 12 years ago I was in the E.R. and told that the baby only had half a brain and heart- that this was not my fault. That there was nothing I could do. I went home and cried. Later that night I had what was left of my baby fall out and I actually saw my baby. It was so hard to have to take it back to the doctor in bag.... it just wasn't right. I was told it happened because I was young and stressed(my parents told me the pregnancy was my problem and to not expect anything from them) and to try again later. I was told to "get over it", to "be gratful that the mistake was taken care of" and "i got a second chance at life". I felt none of these things. I went into a downward spiral that nearly cost me my life.(no one told me about ppd after a miscarriage). What got me through it was i made a memory book- named my baby and because i knew no one would understand- hid it. It was private and for me and to this day on the anniversary I look at it. I had my son approx. 6 years later. I thought that the docs were right- that my miscarriage would not repeat. They were wrong. When my son was 18 months i found out i was pregnant. we announced it on cristmas eve and 2 hours later i found my self in the E.R. again. This time 2 weeks later my doc (who had been on vacation and i was being seen by a differnet doc) decided that waiting was just stupid. he was amazed the other doc let the heavy bleeding continue for almost 2 weeks. the next day I had a D&C. I cried. my husband who has been through everything with me was better this time. He even helped me make another memory book and we added pages to both of the books. 3 months later i was pregnant again(i followed my docs instructions to a "T"). i now have a 2 year old. However because of the miscarriages my hubby and i have decided that we can not handle another lost. So we will not be getting pregnant again. Don't let anyone make you feel as though this was not a real baby. It was to you. It is ok to grieve.... It is ok to cry. And it is ok to remember. It does get better. Talk to your doc. Try again if you want. Just take time to heal your body and spirit. You are not alone.
I totally understand what you are going through, it took me and my husband 8 months to get pregnant with our first and when we finally did we were so excited. When I was 8 wks along I went to the doctor bc I thought I had a UTI. . no bleeding, cramping or anything, when I got there I started bleeding and freaking out, to make things worse I was alone. They did the ultra sound, handed me some klenex said they were sorry and left the room! I was in shock, and they wanted me to wait 2 wks b4 doing the D&C so I changed doctors imediatley and had one the next day. But I lost my baby b4 the D&C and I was in the worst pain I've ever felt that whole night (both emotionally and physically). God and my husband were what helped me thru, we ended up getting pregnant again very soon on accident and now we have a wonderful 14 month old son. Every year on nov. 16th we do something in honor of what wouldve been our first babys birthday. Sounds depressing but it really has helped us heal, I pray that you heal from this tough time
Having a miscarriage was the hardest thing on not only me, but my fiance as well. I have a almost 3 year old with my ex and when my fiance and I lost this baby on my first sons bday, it was terrible for us. My fiance felt as if his "boys" weren't good enough to make it. I went into the hospital on a sat at 5 weeks(yes I knew I was pregnant, and was soo happy) with cramps thinking it was a UTI. They told me that the urine test came back negative for a pregnancy. Then they did the blood one and the hormonal lvls came back very low. Meaning I was too early in the pregnancy or my body was terminating the pregnancy. He told me to come back on monday to see my doctor. Well the next morning I woke up and was bleeding and had horrible pains. This was the worst experiece I ever went through. Since it only happened a few months ago, its hard to look at pregnant women without crying. I can't tought my friend's pregnant bellies without drawing tears. I know how hard it is, and that day will always stick with you. But do not give up. Keep trying! When the time is right, it will happen my dear.
when my husband and i had our first m/c at around 7 weeks, we were devastated. we went in for a sono and were so excited to get to see our baby. there wasn't any heart beat. i mourned that baby for at least a year. everyone at that time seemed to be getting pregnant and it hurt to see them. we tried two more times over the course of two years, even going to a specialist, but lost two more.after the 3rd, we found out that i have a chromosome problem and that i have a 50/50 chance of having a successful pregnancy. well, we eventually tried again and we had a beautiful baby boy! praise God. waiting for two years now doesn't seem nearly that long. don't beat yourself up, and don't think that you only had one chance at becoming pregnant! when you are ready, you'll know. you will heal, although it still may hurt every now and then when you think about who that baby might have been...give yourself time. God was the one to really get me through, and it really was a peace to know that my 3 babies that i lost are in Heaven and that i'll get to see them one day!