my first pregnancy and i went for my 13 week check up today. they couldnt hear the heartbeat on the doppler. so they did an ultrasound and there was my baby with no heartbeat.
I just dont understand why this could happen. I had no symptoms, nothing. the doctor said this happens, but I wish there had been some warning. I even made a joke a few minutes earlier that the baby hid its hearbeat from the doppler because it knew I wanted to see it.
My husband and I want to try again. I might be too eager, but I want to try as soon as I recover from the D&C tommorow. Im so scared. Ive never been under anesthesia before and the thought of my baby being sucked from me makes me cringe.
how do you cope with this? how do you get the courage to try again?
Hi MrsPitts - I am so sorry to hear your sad news
hubby and I had a miscarriage in April and needless to say it was tough. it is frustrating when there is no "reason" but 2 things my doctor told me that helped me a ton - 1. there are hundreds of things that need to go right for a successful pregnancy and sometimes one of those goes wrong. 2. he and his wife have 5 children, but she's been pregnant 10 times, the other 5 resulting in miscarriages
we planned on waiting the 3 months our doctor recommended before we started trying again (partly because of fibroids) but ended up getting pregnant right away and are expecting our 4th girl this week.
i would say when trying again take into account any recommendations from your doctor as well as how you are feeling emotionally. other than that, stay strong and know that there are others here to support you
I had a very similar experience. Everything appeared normal, the doctors had even detected a heartbeat in a previous u/s, but then it just stopped. The thought of the D&C made me sick, and that was one of the hardest days knowing that it was officially over, and the baby that I already felt was mine would no longer be a part of me. I think I cried every day for 2 weeks, and then spontaneously if someone was talking about something, or something baby related was on tv. That was 4 months ago. I still have my moments, but time does help. We were told to wait until after 2 periods to try. We waited until after one cycle, and have been trying with no luck. It took us 7 months before we got pregnant the first time, and because of some fertility issues, we're trying iui next cycle. The best advice I can give you is to take the time and mourn the loss. Don't just suppress it. I think that looking back it helped that I let myself cry and talked about it with my husband. I do think that if I'm not pregnant before the due date of my last pregnancy, that I will have a really hard time. Aside from the emotional aspect, the D&C is very easy. I had no complications, and didn't even have any pain after. I would definitely wait the 2 weeks they tell you not to have sex though, there is definitely healing internally that needs to go on.
Baby #1 due December 3, 2010