I saw the Tyra Show a few weeks ago and thought this would be a good topic to discuss here.
Could you let your children be trans-gendered? They showed two kids that were, I believe, 6 or 7 and they 'knew' that they were the wrong gender. Their parents were very accepting, called them "she" if they were really a "he." They let their boy wear skirts to school, grow their hair out. They let their girl wear big baggy boy clothes, have the boy hair cut...
If your child said, "Mom. I am a girl." (And they were a boy..) or "Mom. I am a boy." (And they were a girl.) From what I understand, their parents didn't just immediately accept it, it took the kids telling them for years that they were the wrong sex. Could you handle it? Would you call them by a new name? Send them to school looking like the opposite sex?
For me, I probably wouldn't. Maybe if they were an adult and they decided to be trans-gendered...but a kid? I couldn't do it. I couldn't let them get made fun of and be ridiculed for it...
What do you moms think?
I would definitely allow my child be who they want to be. I'd rather they be who they want to be than see them lying to the world and depressed. Obviously, there would be a lot of hardship on them, just like for anyone else who is different. I wouldn't WISH for my child to be trans-gendered in this world because I don't think enough people are accepting of this lifestyle yet, but I would definitely support their decision. I would even help them take the hormones to adjust to whichever sex they are changing to. However, I would NOT allow a small child to have gender reassignment surgery. I would wait until they were a teenager and able to make that decision with more knowledge of how it would affect them in their life.
Marla- I see what you are saying, but at 6 or 7? Would you take them out of school, then? Or leave them in?
*Just a side note, on the show the parents talked about their kids being beaten up at school, being hospitalized. PARENTS were calling them names, rioting against the trans-gendered child, and trying to get them taken out of the school for being a bad influence. Could you deal with that?
I think it would depend on how serious my kid was about it. At 4, dd sometimes mixes up 'boy' and 'girl'. If she wants to wear 'boy' clothes at home, I don't see a problem with it, & the same with ds and girls clothes. He already shows a love for pink, but honestly that could very easily be b/c dd has pink and purple everything. If I really thought my child was transgendered, I'd probably steer them towards gender neutral clothing, haircuts, behaviors, etc. until they were old enough to truly understand the implications of being tg. If my kids are picked on in school, especially by parents, I have no reservations about pulling them out and homeschooling.
Watch your language
Ask me about INTACTIVISM
I watched a show about this on National Geographic. According to this show, many trans-gendered children start acting the opposite gender from as young as 18 months old. Long before they can define themselves as male or female. They just act how they feel comfortable, the adults label behavior as gender specific.
If my child felt more comfortable acting/dressing/expressing in ways that we define as opposite their specific gender, I would let them continue to do so. I believe it's important for a child to learn to stay true to themselves, no matter what that means. Intolerance comes in all forms, not just against trans-gendered children, and kids can get beaten up and teased for a variety of reasons.
Life is an adventure, I share every day with my two beautiful children.
I would let my kids dress or act however they want to. But they will have to wait until they are 18 to have surgery or start hormone replacement, etc. Children that young are seriously not mature enough to make those kinds of serious decisions. But the little stuff- whatever.
Mom of twin girls, age 3, and a new baby boy born in January!