Panic

[Cassagc]

Is anyone else feeling like they're not ready for baby? What are your worries for the coming months?

I just realized today that I have less than 4 months left to go (116 days) and I don't feel at all ready! I'm slightly (ok, maybe a lot) OCD/anal retentive organized and this whole thing of not being able to set up the nursery or buy anything for the baby is driving me nuts. My husband is completely laid back and a non-worrier, so he isn't helping. His idea of helping right now is telling me to relax and let things happen. SO NOT going to happen...

[Jayney]

I COMPLETELY understand the organization issue. I swear I organized my son's nursery everyday since I found out his sex. There is going to be so much time to buy the clothes and everything you will need. Trust me. You will probably end up with more than you need, if you are anything like me

You really will become more laid back once the baby is born and you all are settled. I'm pregnant right now, and I am honestly just taking this time relax. Before you know it, you are going to have a loud little baby in the house. So, as your husband says, "Just relax. Let things happen." It'll all work out. Once your baby is born you will say, "Why didn't I just take that time to relax??"

[craftyashley]

I am in panic mode RIGHT NOW! I'm going in for my c-section tomorrow, and I am just feeling so unprepared! The house is not nearly clean enough, I am not mentally prepared for three under three, and I am freaking out about having surgery again. FREAKING OUT! I think I have taken a Clorox wipe to every surface in this house in hopes of feeling "ready." Probably not going to happen.

[Jayney]

Okay, craftyashley, you have a big reason to be freaking out at this moment! Lol. THIS is the time to freak out. Good luck! Are you having a boy or girl? Do you have a name picked out yet?

*SENDING YOU GREAT VIBES FOR A HAPPY AND SAFE DELIVERY!! AND SOME EXTRA SANITY FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS AHEAD!!*

[Ombeline]

I hope that everything went without a hitch for craftyashley and that she'll come back to give us news really soon! 3 under 3, brave woman.

I have moments of panic and even nightmares, but most of the time I'm pretty calm about raising the kids. I am gut-wrenchingly, chokingly terrified of childbirth itself, so much so that I can't really be afraid of the stuff that comes after.

It helps me to focus on the hopeful parts of becoming a mom: in free moments we're building low bookshelves and filling them with TONS of used kids' books (which I've been collecting for years in the hopes of having children to read them to some day), playing piano, singing lullabies and telling stories to my giant tummy, sorting through the exciting bags of hand-me-downs from relatives, sewing cozy little newborn gowns and patchwork quilts and soft toys and getting my husband to make building blocks... therapeutic stuff!

Maybe I shouldn't be calm. I'm supposed to have the twins around 36 weeks. That's 12 weeks from now, minus 1 day. We are far from ready to deal with becoming parents, and to two babies at once! Two!!!! We have so many things to learn first, and to buy. Carseats, a stroller of some kind, a mega supply of diapers, giant vats of diaper rash ointment, thermometers, a baby bathtub... The apartment still needs lots of renovating and reorganizing or we'll go insane in this tiny space. We need a dishwasher. We need to do something about the cold drafts around the windows and the peeling wallpaper. We don't have a crib and will have to buy or make one soon, but just at first we plan to put them in an extra-wide bassinet that my husband is making, a simple low-sided box on wheels that we'll put on the floor next to our mattress until we all get used to each other and the babies don't need to be fed constantly.

Fortunately, my mom is coming on Wednesday to stay with us for a couple of weeks. She's already planning to shampoo the rug (or rip it out if possible!), strip the walls and repaint them, put up new curtains, tile around the kitchen sink, the works. Thank goodness for moms. I am so blessed with mine.

[Cassagc]

Jayney - I'm glad to know I'm not the only one organizing and reorganizing everything. I have to convince myself not to stop at the secondhand stores to buy more clothes every weekend. I know I should relax but it's just not me. My husband swears that I don't know how to. I'm one of those people who is always doing something. We'll be watching a movie/TV and I'm sewing...drives him nuts, LOL.

Crafty - I hope everything went well. How are the girls taking to their new sibling?

Ombeline - Yes, having help is great isn't it. My three best friends have already planned a weekend in April to come out and help me get everything done that I haven't already completed. Just make sure that you're not in the apartment when the destruction is happening, due to the chemicals and all. Make it a shopping day/weekend!

I'm not worried about the birth part, that'll happen as it happens. I figure women have been giving birth for forever and there's nothing I can do to change what happens. But I do have my birth plan and the OB and nurses had better stick to it or I'll be on ticked off laboring woman...

[Cassagc]

Ok, so I totally had a panic night last night. I'm preparing to move to Texas (yea!) 10 Apr (just found out 12 Mar) and it completely put me into a tailspin for some reason. I've moved multiple times due to the military and it's normally no big deal...buy boxes, pack, let the movers seal, load and move everything.

I guess I'm panicking because I can't do much since I'm so far along. I'm having to wait/rely on other people and that's not something I do well. Nor am I a wait until the last minute person (just a little OCD and controlling...)

I've got my lists, I've set everything I can up, I've got people coming in to take care of the things that I can't do like deep cleaning, carpentry and packing. My parents are even going to be driving up to drive me and the dogs out to Texas since my hubby has a business trip that week. So why an I still worried that it's not going to all be taken care of?!

I'm really just venting, had to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.

[Ombeline]

Sheesh, you have to move house when you're 8 months pregnant? Good luck, Cass!!! Don't panic, I'm sure it'll be OK. It's good that your parents are coming to drive you, at least. And don't overdo it because getting everything perfect is totally not worth going into premature labor or something.

I hear you about the wanting to control everything and feeling panicked and helpless and having trouble just letting some of the details go. We're not moving, of course, but there is still so much to prepare, and so many little day-to-day things that I can't do now. It is so hard to leave everything to my husband, not just because he gets home at 8 or 9 PM totally exhausted and then sits up working at his computer most of the night and I feel guilty when I have to bother him for a glass of water, but also because men don't tend to do housework the way women do and I am obsessive about certain things, too, like scrubbing the toilet, sorting the darks and whites before doing laundry, you know what I mean. And food. I'm usually the shopper/cook around here, but he's doing his best... There are also a gazillion errands I need to be doing right now, appointments I can't keep, urgent paperwork (not to mention shopping) I need to get taken care of before the babies arrive, and I'm just stuck.

Argh. I didn't mean to start venting myself, just to commiserate and remind you to take it easy!

[Cassagc]

Vent please. This forum is the only place I feel safe enough to vent. My husband is working so hard and doing so much and I feel horrible complaining about my aches and pains and worries.

I can't imagine being on bed rest. I can't even do the half days at work that my OB wants to put me on. I've convinced her so far to leave me on full days since at work my coworkers watch out for me and don't let me do too much. At home I would just get myself into trouble.

At least it won't be long and we'll all have our bundles of joy in our arms, wishing they were still inside since it was so much easier (at least that's what my mommy friends are telling me).

[g0dd3ss13]

I hear what your saying and I admit I am at a loss.
So close, and yet I feel nothing like that. It happened when I got married too. The gown fitter kept saying "does it feel real yet" expecting me to panic and I felt nothing. I love my husband, he is my best friend and so I wasn't nervous at all. UNtil I was ready to turn the corner to walk down the aisle. At that moment I wanted to run. Keep things as they are.

I expect the birth of Samuel [settled on a name when we confirmed it was a boy yesterday] will be much the same. An eerie calm until the the second stage of Labor starts then I will be trying to get out of the hospitol bed and go home to get some sleep. "Stop the birth[train] I want to get off!" "What? I am bringing a life into this world and nothing can stop it? OMG!" A flood of enevitable doubting questions will follow. On the plus side perhaps that will keep my mind off the labor and a sort of stressed out meditaion will begin.