sharing my story

[myangeljalisa]

Hi,im Rebecca. ON dec.1st 2009 i had a miscarriage/d&c.i was at home sleeping when i woke up from cramping.and then it started from there after having the baby at home i went to the hopital.i was loosing alot of blood,and i almost went into cardiac arrest.this all led top the d&c.i was later sent home by my doctor.not even 4 hours later(WITHOUT checking my hemo levels once again)!!!!!!!!!!the next day i went to make arrangements for the baby.and i was in sooo much pain.so i went to the clinic.my hemo level had dropped to 7.2!i rushed to the ER where i had to get a blood transfusion.well its 4 weeks after the fact and im STILL waiting on my friend...my mom thinks im pregnant again,lol.we made a $100 bet...WELL,i wanted to share my story,hope to hear something r.i.p.my little angel Jalisa

[big-mouth-burgher]

I am so sorry about your daughter. You now have an angel in heaven to look over you.

[Newmama22]

I'm sorry to say I know how you feel. My hubby and I lost our daughter, Ara Christine, on Dec 31. I had been sent to the hospital because i developed what is called HELLP syndrome. It's a very long story but the end result is my kidney's and liver were shutting down and they had to enduce me to save my life. It was to much for our daughter and she died on the last day of the year. After they had to do a D&C on me as well because part of my placenta wouldn't come out. It's the worst feeling in the world to be told that your child is going to die to keep you alive and i really hope no one ever has to be told that in their life but it happens. I hope you have a good supportive family to help you through this.

And on the subject of hubby's..the pain they feel is no different than what you feel...i know people all feel that it is different for the mother than the father but i don't believe i'm hurting anymore than my hubby or that i should be asked how i'm feeling more than he is...that was his daughter to and it makes me mad when people ask me how i'm feeling but don't bring him up or ask him directly how he's faring with it all.

Anyway again I'm sorry for what you had to go through the pain isn't going to just go away but hopefully you have people who are willing to support you and let you cry when you need to.

[big-mouth-burgher]

I am sorry for your families loss. And men do grieve just as much as we do, I know this from first hand experience. A support system is the best thing for you right now. My twin sons died 10 years ago, but there are times that it seems like just yesterday. It is something that you never "get over", but it does get easier as time passes. I still have bad days, but they are fewer and farther between.

[Twilightcraze]

I am so sorry to hear that! That hospital should be ashamed of itself. I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy when u do become pregnant! You daughter is in God's hands and will always be there in spirit.

[Mrs.Miller28]

Just wanted to share my story as well...my husband and I started trying to conceive in October 2009 and excitedely found out we were pregnant on December 25th, 2009. Everything was simply magical and exciting and we were so happy to soon join the ranks of all of our friends in the "parent" department (we are the last amongst everyone we know). The thought of a miscarriage never even crossed my mind; it was something only found in made-for-TV-movies and I have never known a single person who went through it. It was for people who "have problems conceiving" to begin with. At 8 weeks, I very unexpectedly began cramping and spotting on my way to church but didn't think much of it, having recently read that this was normal in the first couple months. By the time I got home, I was doubled over and breathing erratically as I felt my entire abdomen seizing and throbbing. It really came in waves like contractions. I called the OB on call when I passed a large glob of tissue, and was told rather curtly (after it took her an hour to return my page) that "welp, there's nothing I can do for you on a Sunday. You are probably miscarrying. Call your OB tomorrow." I was in complete denial until the following morning when I went in for an ultrasound and found out that just like that, in the span of a couple agonizing and fearful hours, I had lost my child and everything was already done and gone. My HCG levels were already back to baseline. It was like it was all a dream. I have to ask my husband sometimes if we were ever really pregnant. Then came the agonizing waiting. Waiting for a period. Now waiting for another period. This "in limbo" time could seriously kill me. I feel so ineffective, so helpless, and I assume the worst and fear that I am at the cusp of a major infertility discovery. What if this is just the beginning of a long process of repeat miscarriages, culminating in finding out that I can never have a child? I feel like my body has betrayed me and I have grown distant from all of my blissfully unaware pregnant friends. The envy I feel for their ignorance, happiness, and effortless pregnancies is nearly unbearable. They will never know the ugly side of pregnancy; they will never know how scary it is to be completely helpless as you lose your child. Mostly, I grieve for the fact that I have been robbed of a romantic, happy, blissful, and peaceful pregnancy experience. It will forever be in my mind and I am scared crapless of trying to get pregnant again. While I did not experience the crushing loss of a child late in a pregnancy, I hope my experience can help those of you out there that have experienced the "run of the mill miscarriage" as my doctor told me. Don't let them make you think you aren't special and that your situation wasn't horrible and unexpected. My doctor was very kind, but made it sound like these are a dime a dozen. It's just not right. I pray for all of you out there that have lost a child in ANY capacity. The Lord will strengthen you and push you forward; you just need to trust in that. Good luck to all of you!