New Here--Am I The Only One

[Mommyecm]

Well here I am up late on the computer because I can't sleep after ANOTHER incident with my 13 yr old. I have been preparing for a garage sale for a couple of weeks and I have been warning him to clean up his room because we are going to go through his clothes, toys, etc. I have been dreading it but decided that tonight was the night. I enter his room....something I do not do often because it is an argument waiting to happen..and sure enough it is worse than ever. Candy wrappers everywhere, clothes everywhere, dirty clothes in with clean. School papers he did not do well on hidden. Something wet and sticky all over gameboy games. They are now ruined. Used q-tips in his underwear drawer. I could not shove one more thing under his bed!!!!!!!!! He is soooo lazy and how can he live in that filth. I am sooo mad. I do not get it. Am I the only one dealing with this. There is other history here.... it is not only his room it is everything he does. Everything is half ass at best. I can't take it anymore. What do I do????

[atippit]

No, my son is the same way. He's turning twelve and I have no idea how his room becomes the way it is even days after I make him clean it. I banned candy from the house except on occasion because the wrappers in his room were bringing in ants. I told him that if he didn't keep his clean clothes separate from his dirty ones and keep them off the floor that I would dump them all into a basket make him wash them, fold them, and then I'll dump them on the floor again so he can pick them up and wash and fold them over and over again until he gets the point. I said if he kept dirty glasses in there that I'd make him reuse them, if he ruins his games that he won't get anymore new ones, and also the biggest was that if his room is really bad no friends are allowed over.

He wasn't always like this. I think it's some adolescent phase of complete laziness and lack of hygiene. You just have to keep up with it no matter how many times you've explained the same things, no matter how many times they get upset or otherwise. You just have to keep at it. It's in their best interest to be the bad guy.

[rrwms23]

You should feel lucky that you only have to worry about that kind of stuff with your teen. There are some that have to worry about their teen doing drugs & having sex. On your bad days with him, just think....someone else out there has it worse than you!

[BusyMei]

You are definitely not the only one. Several friends and I have lunch every month. Together we have 10 teenagers. Sharing teenager stories usually doesn't leave time for anything else. Even the sweetest children can have some adolescent issues.

My oldest D's room sounds like your son's all the time. I talked to her many times. I tried many things. One time, I took a big box and put everything in her room that is out of place into the box and told her that she could have them back when she can take care of them. Over the years, what worked best was getting her to clean her room regularly like every weekend so it never got too bad. It was very hard though. As soon as I easy up, she would go back to her way. So it is the same every week over and over again.

It is true that over the grand scheme of things, personal hygiene and cleanliness might not be a big deal. But it is still hard to look at it everyday. I do remind myself that I am thankful I didn't have to pick up a totally drunk teenager from a party which my friend did 2 weeks ago.

Take lots of deep breath and keep at it. Good luck.