Have had two miscarriages

[utahcanadian]

mommies rule,

Don't think of it as "trying". Give yourself some time to heal, and then just continue with life. When and if you have a child, you will know that you were always open and ready and receptive to receiving such a wonderful gift and opportunity. Take it as it comes -- often, the efforts of trying are stressful, thought-consuming, and make you suffer, as well as inhibiting reproduction. Just continue without birth control, take your prenatals, get good medical care, enjoy intimacy with your husband whenever you both want, and be ready to be surprised by a late period one day. Accept what comes, and learn from it. Do not blame yourself! The only trying you should really do is to relax and let go, and not be anxious.

[utahcanadian]

Oh, and I did have one miscarriage a few months ago. I knew the odds were 20%, since I am older, so I didn't get too upset. It seems that often fertility is a bit higher after miscarriage; you don't necessarily have to wait. I had one more period, then no more. Now it looks like I am carrying twins (will get it confirmed in a couple of hours). I have to mention the miscarriage as part of my pregnancy history, and everyone immediately says, "I'm so sorry!" I am not; there was something wrong that time, so it is much better to not have the pregnancy continue! And now I have even more... how can I be sorry? Wait until everything is good and healthy for a baby. Miscarriage is as simple as it didn't work out because something was wrong, and now you have another chance for everything to be right (or at least a lot better -- there always seems to be a few discomforts and complications!)

Fsmurfy, I hope my words comfort you, too. It seems you are already prepared for the worst, but it's too bad it has to be dragged out so much.

PS -- I know of two couples who would have welcomed children, but they just didn't come , and they let that be -- for years, then 8 or 11 years later, their worlds completely changed, and they were so glad for that long-wanted baby!

Another couple I know waited twenty years, then adopted two six-year-old boys from the foster care system, a year apart for each. Now no one can guess this family was put together just three years ago, they seem like such a perfect family. They even all look alike. People keep getting the boys mixed up, even though they are not biological brothers, and had to accept each other to get the parents they always wanted.

I'm just showing that the possibilities in life are so varied, and WILL WORK out, if we are patient and open to them. My husband always wanted a family, and was finally a new father at 49, and I had to look a long time for a good man. Now -- twins?!!

[kartman]

A friend of mine had 2 miscarriages over a period of 2 years. The doctor who was helping her first pregnancy didn't explain the cause of the miscarriage (damn). The second doctor identified the unusual uterus shape and suggested a corrective surgery. She now has a 2 y.o. boy.
The issue is in the diagnosis of the exact cause of the MC, once you've got it figured out - the odds of MC can be reduced a lot.

Trying to Conceive? Be Proud! Get a TTC Badge.

[trlljames]

I too feel your pain! I lost twins 12 years ago had my son 1 year later; had another miscarriage then had my daughter. I found out in March I was pregnant! Lost it in April.It doesn't matter how many times it happens its still hard. We are trying again but I Am Worried it will happen again! It seems to be every other pregnancy!

[KaraLeigh]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My husband and I have lost three...all in the first trimester. We are like you...I have a wonderful doctor who isn't worried and said we can try again whenever we are ready. I've had all the tests and everything has been fine so far...however each time is a big deal for us because we have to use AI. (a problem with my husband not me) We have so much love to give and long for a child so much!!! I don't think that I can go through the heartache again though so....we have chosen to adopt! (wow what a rollercoaster thats been but it will be worth it) We have talked and prayed about it and after we adopt we would like to try again to get pregnant. I don't think the fear will ever go away but my best advice is to cling to those you love and don't be afraid to let your emotions out! Just because our children weren't born doesn't mean that they didn't LIVE!!! So you have every right to grieve and cry and be angry and whatever else you may feel! I wish you all the best and a healthy baby one day!

[rosa isela]

i know how hard it is to have a miscarriages. i have had three miscarriages my first one i was 12 weeks the fetus didnt have a heart beat my second and third pregnancies i was 7 weeks.that will always stay with me its hard to heal and it takes time to try again it took me 7 months before i tried again. i have been to doctors to doctors. first they did a test for lupus that came badck positive then they send me to another doctor that redid the test and it was negetaive. the doctors just keep telling me that there was nothing wrong. i am now pregnant i am 18 weeks but a 7 weeks i was told to take baby aspirin and then i had to take shots till i got to 12 weeks. and im still scared that i might have a miscarriage but my o had told me im 99% out of the miscarriage zone. hopefully next week i will find out for thr first time what i am having.

[mom2pne]

Last year I had a m/c at 7w 4d on April 30th. Then with both June and July's cycles i had chemical pregnancies (very early m/c's). Thats where you get a bfp before af is due and then she comes any way. I then ttc up until December 08 when me and my dh decided to take a break. Well things didn't worlk out that way because we started to use condoms and 1 of the times was the night before i o'd and it broke. So here I am 37+ weeks pg. So it does happen even after m/c's! So GL to you!

[cassmith04]

I have also had two miscarriages in the first trimester. The second exactly a year from the first. Two years after our second loss my husband and I found out we were expecting again. I was so scared, and now we have a beautiful, perfect 9 week old son. I worried the entire pregnancy. It is possible, don't give up hope. I am so, so sorry for your losses and for those of all the other mother's on this thread. It is so heartbreaking to lose a child. We participate in a remembrance walk every year for our lost children. I encourage each of you to look up Remembrance Walk to see if their is one in your town.

[feelinghopeless]

I am a mother of a beautiful daughter...and so very lucky for that. The problem is that I had her with a previous marriage. Her father and I divorced and I was remarried a year ago. My husband and I long for a baby but we have had 2 miscarriages. The first pregnancy was unexpected but we were thrilled. We found out at 12 weeks there was no heart beat. After getting through that and waiting until "the time was right" we tried again. I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of July and we were happy but I was nervous. I started bleeding last week and at 8w 4d they did a scan and again, no heartbeat. I'm scared that maybe we can't have children between the two of us. Is something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with us or our chemistry? People tell you so many things. I'm devastated, feel hopeless and just miserable. I know how badly my husband wants kids and I feel like I'm letting him down. Someone help.

[maryjane.frazier]

I too have two healthy kids and when I was prego with baby three I lost him @ 17 weeks gest. it was a baby boy. I was devasted then 4 months later I was prego and went to a ultrasound where all they saw was a sac and no baby with that. It measured 9 weeks. I was disappointed and I know that you can get through this I am still coping but gettin through it