I'd like some advice on the following: My husband and I picked a family name for our baby soon after we discovered that we were expecting. We decided that we were not going to tell people what name we had picked. In the meantime, a close friend (who lives far away) was pregnant, and tragically her baby was stillborn. Rather than give her baby the name they had originally chosen and announced for their child, they named their baby the name that we had picked. It is a very common name. Now I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I do not want to add to their pain, but I hate to deny my husband the baby name that he has had his heart set on and that has family history. My husband feels that we should not compromise our decision because of their tragedy. But I feel very torn. What do you think?
Maybe talk to your friend? I think if you explained that you had wanted to name your son/daughter that particular name because of the fact that it's a family based name... Maybe she'd understand. If she had a problem with it, is there any way you and your husband could make it a middle name? That'd make it so whenever your friend visited or called, she wouldn't have to say the name or even really think about it. And yet, you and your husband both still get the family name you longed for. Hope that helps... Sorry to hear about your friend's child. It's against the laws of nature. But congrats, also, on your new addition. :]
Ruby Ilene born May 27th, 2009.
7lbs 11oz and 20in long.
I'd think I'd write her a note and explain that you love the name they gave their baby and are, in fact, going to use the same name. I'd explain that it's a family name, but that you'd for it to also be a way of honoring their child. I think it's so great of you to be so concerned for their grief, but I also agree with you husband that you should still be able to use the name.