Any ideas on how to have "the talk"?

[rickip]

I'm sure this has been discussed on here... how did you have "the talk" with your kid(s)? I told myself I would be ready for this and be "open" and all that, but now that my 6-yr-old son is asking how the baby got in my tummy, I'm freezing up! He's only in 1st grade, and I just can't get my mind around explaining "everything" to him. So I said God put it there. True enough, but a cop-out, I know. If anyone has any helpful resources, a great age-appropriate book, etc. I would appreciate it! I remember my mom telling me that the male & female parts "fit together like a puzzle" but I really didn't understand about sex and that it doesn't always create a baby, etc. So I really don't want to confuse him, but neither do I want to give him too much information and have him sharing it all over the playground and with our 4-yr-old and friends' kids...

[hardworkinmama]

I think that telling a 6yo that God put the baby in your tummy is plenty. I don't think you need to go into anymore detail than that. He is not old enough to understand everything that goes into making a baby or sex. You also didn't mention anything about him asking other questions after you told him that God put it in there, so it sounds to me as though you answered his question to his satisfaction. I wouldn't go any farther nor would I bring it up. If he brings it up again and asks more questions then look into getting books that can help explain it on his level. I would check with your local library first. Good luck.

[big-mouth-burgher]

I like your answer. Sometimes people give kids too much information that the child didn't really ask for in the first place. He probably literally wanted to know how the heck anyone can fit a baby inside their belly, it had little to nothing to do with sex or even how a baby is made. I sometimes wonder how they fit in there myself. My rule is to keep it simple and only answer what they really ask. If he wants to know more, he'll ask.

[Saphira]

My input...

I know all of you moms want telling your kids to be gentle, and sincere yet quick and painless. But... if your kid rides the bus... they're gonna get an earful.

I was such an INNOCENT kid before I moved to fricken Arkansas and started riding the bus. I didn't even know what sex was or where babies came from, and never asked. When I moved here though, I rode the bus, and people started calling me and my friend a lesbian. Well, she asked her dad and he told her and she told me. Then we told the kids on the bus we weren't lesbian cuz we didn't love each other, we liked boys. And then they started telling my friend she did nasty things to guys like "blowing" them and she said, "What? I don't blow on guys! You guys are retarded!" And then she asked her dad, he told her, and she told me.

You may not tell your kid, but it will get to them eventually. I support telling them God put it there, and leaving out all the details. But I also think "the talk" should come from the parents so that ALL the details are told by mom/dad instead of some kid on the playground who doesn't really remember and may get it mixed up. Besides, that's something you want to be able to share with your kid. :]

Oh, but if I were gonna tell a smaller child how a baby got placed in my stomach. I'd tell them the usual "Mommy and daddy loved each other soooooooo much they took that love and made an egg, then gave it to God and God blessed the baby and put it inside of mommy's belly to grow!"

[moonemaiden]

If your son is satisfied with that answer, great! But he will be asking more questions and soon. It will help to be prepared. When my daughter was 4 she started asking questions and so I bought her a book called "What's the Big Secret" written by a 1st grade teacher for kindergartners. I read this book with her and it explained everything from healthy self care and cleanliness, to non-judgement, sex, and keeping the child safe from molestation. All in terms kids understand. It was a great starting point to our conversations and it helped me find the words that I was so desperately looking for.

Now she's 7 and we're having to go into more detailed explanations, such as puberty. I've just started these conversations with her, and I tend to start big. Like what she thinks the difference between a child and an adult is. I use this conversation to include ideas like responsibility and making right choices. I let her take the lead and we only really talk when she starts asking questions about different things, and I let her questions lead which area of the conversation we talk about. Definitely a work in progress and I will let you know how it pans out.

I also end each conversation by stressing the importance of mommies and daddies having these conversations with their kids. It's not up to her to inform other children. So far that seems to work.

[BusyMei]

Another book suggestion "It's So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families". It is written and illustrated for ages 7 and up so your son is probably ready for it if you want to read it with him.

[atippit]

ditto on the bus thing. my son found out how all that worked before the third grade however he got a little bit of information wrong and thought the baby came out of your butt. /chuckles he then apologized to me saying that it must have hurt. haha. okay sorry that doesn't help the question...

you don't have to give all the details. generally if you just say it takes a mommy and a daddy to have a baby. the baby grows in the belly like a seed grows from the ground because it doesn't have all the skin and bones to be capable of living outside of the body. and then turn it around on them and ask them what they think and generally kids just want to talk and forget they ever asked you anything.

[MSLight]

I love your answer but I agree that he's gonna have more questions but you have a good start with him, at least. I remember learning a LOT about what REALLY happened from my friends--- so they'll be talking about it soon enough. I recommend getting a book and sitting down with him. Good luck!

[Step-Mama21]

I agree that if he is content with your answer then you should just let things be for now, but eventually hes going to learn the truth somewhere wouldnt you rather he here it from you? give it some time and see if he starts asking question about the details, but it he doesnt you may want to sit him down and give him the kid friendly version of the truth so he doesnt end up getting misinformation from the play ground.