Yes, I’m 31 years old, yes I’m a mom, yes I’m pregnant with number two and yes, I love Edward Cullen. There, I said it. I recently read the Twilight series and devoured every page. I have watched Twilight a million times and can’t get enough. So this weekend I will be joining hundreds of tweens and packing into a crowded theater to watch my favorite vampires (and the hot new werewolves) do their thing.

My birthday’s a marker of a kind, one that impels me to stop for a moment and marvel at where I am right now, where I’ve been, and the exciting conclusion that there’s no telling where it’s all going. This year, as I look forward, there is one, huge, bigger-than-ever thought, and moment, before me. It stops me in my tracks.

Oh my God. I am going to be someone’s mom.

Next Thursday I will be hosting my first ever Thanksgiving and I couldn’t be more excited. I absolutely love to cook and entertain (if I didn’t have a job, I’d already be ironing the tablecloths and arranging the centerpieces) and it makes me feel very grown-up--in a good way. I am also, however, nervous. Nervous because I tend to overdo it and I’m almost eight months pregnant and actually starting to feel that way. And it’s a pretty major Thanksgiving….

We’re beginning to wonder aloud: how will our cats cope with the baby? We’ve put a net on the crib, and are secretly planning to kick them out of the bedroom altogether… this will definitely disrupt Zen’s hard-set cuddling routine. We’re not sure how she’ll react. We have friends whose cat became so depressed upon the arrival of a baby that it lost enough weight to land itself in the hospital with an IV drip. Another rebelled by pooping all over its owners’ rugs. This leads to our other lurking question, as-yet-unspoken but undoubtedly there: once the baby’s born, as much as we love our cats, how will we cope with them?

As nervous as I am to only have 8 weeks left before the baby arrives, I am starting to get excited about what that means. But I’m not talking about the fact that I will have a little baby girl to cuddle and love and care for. That is the real gift, obviously. But there are other things to look forward to as well. Far less important things but things I can’t stop thinking about nevertheless. And today I want to talk about those….So, here’s what I’m really looking forward to:

My sisters and I turned out OK, but what
if I screw it up?!

I am one of three girls. I love being a girl. Always have. My parents never treated us any differently because of our gender, especially my dad who had us baiting fish hooks, shooting guns and playing baseball in the backyard practically before we were out of diapers. The thought never crossed our minds that we couldn't do everything boys could do and as we’ve gotten older, we are all still confident, strong and happy with who we are. Needless to say, my parents did a good job. But that was a different time. Raising a daughter today seems…trickier. And it has me worried. Here’s why:

Did you think it was awfully suspicious how, seemingly moments after conceiving, piles of junk mail from Babies R Us and Wal Mart and every other major retailer arrived at your door? Are the digital pregnancy tests rigged up with GPS trackers now or what? We are going to need to be outfitted with the necessary items to keep our baby clothed, clean, fed, and healthy, but while I’m pretty sure I don’t need a (seriously unattractive) matching glider, ottoman, and crib skirt, I’m not entirely sure of which items I really do need within easy reach.

Eight years ago today I was diagnosed with cancer. Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML). At the time I thought my life as I knew it was over. I assumed I’d be sick, bald, dying. But thanks to the miracle drug I take, my experience with cancer was nothing like I’d expected. No hair loss, no hospital stays, no chemo, no need to get sick just to get well. Sure, I may never be cured, but eight years later, I am still here. And I am a wife, a mother, a pregnant lady and (pretty much) cancer free. I could never have imagined all of that when I first heard the words, "You have cancer" eight years ago. Not too shabby, huh?

With Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who just announced he has CML too. 

I’ve eaten seafood without knowing the source (I don’t overdo it), soft cheeses in moderation (and enjoyed them!), and one really good steak (juicy, but not rare). I haven’t had any alcoholic drinks, but I’ve met a number of women who have had a glass of wine here and there -- often citing French women, or their grandmothers' generation. I’ve placed an official request with my husband for sushi and champagne at the ready as soon as our baby is born. How strict have you been about all of the pregnancy rules? I’m curious.

When I was pregnant with Alex I took childcare classes, breastfeeding classes, read books, logged onto every pregnancy website I could find and had those weekly e-mail updates coming at me from all directions. Needless to say, when he arrived I felt very prepared. This time around I have to remind myself that I’m even having a baby (in two months…yipes!)and I haven’t so much as cracked a pamphlet. Of course I know what I’m doing but I still want to freshen up on some of the rules and techniques—and any tips to help my baby be a better sleeper!