The Parenting Post Blog

The Sisyphean Nature of Housework

By Mommy Needs Coffee on Tuesday, October 28, 11:57 am EDT

Standing in the middle of my kitchen, I surveyed the damage that a long weekend has caused. How could my somewhat neat and working-on-becoming-organized house look like it is the victim of vandals, looters, and general havoc-wreckers?

From the laboratory that is often known as the kitchen, I have the (sometimes) unfortunate ability to see the kids’ playroom and the family room. Standing at my kitchen sink, I looked from one room to the next and I wept. No, I sobbed. No, actually I supposed what I did would better be described as a total breakdown, with the additional flair of having my head spin in circles (a la Linda Blair) while I spewed (not pea soup, but) fresh brewed coffee all over my what-does-it-matter-because-it-is-already-filthy kitchen counter top.

House cleaning – especially when it falls after a long weekend – is a task only rivaled by Sisyphus. You know the poor schmuck I am talking about, right? He is that “hero” of Greek mythology who was condemned to roll a great boulder to the top of a hill. But every time he, by the greatest of exertion and toil, attained the summit, the ever-loving rock rolled back down again. And again. And again.

The more I think about it, I really don’t see a difference after all. I mean, oh sure, he has a big boulder to roll up a hill that will always roll back down before he reaches the top. Forever. That is his life. His eternity. His reality. But let’s face it, for me (and for many moms, housewives, stay-at-home-dads, caregivers, [fill-in-your-politically correct term here]) that is how daily life can feel.

(What do you mean I have to clean the kitchen, do the laundry, AND feed everyone? Didn’t I do that yesterday? And the day before? And the day before that? Haven’t I done that every day of my life as a mother, and yet it is never finished?)

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I dislike being a stay-at-home mom. I don’t. I just have those days when the never-ending, ongoing, hard tasks exhaust me simply by thinking of them. The never-ending task of cleaning the house and feeling good about it, only to turn around and see it once again become Disaster Central makes me crazy.

Oh sure, the best way to take care of that is to actually get up and clean the place. However, since I am working full time from home I decided on something better. I have started the Chore List. Every child has a chore and a day they have to do it. It is posted on our refrigerator, and they know what day they have to do what task. Besides the fact that I am now receiving a lot of help, I am gaining something else – if my kids miss their chore on a given day and I have to do it, they get to pay me for doing their chore. They really don’t like that. And I get the pleasure of getting paid because they made the choice to not do what they knew they should.

It is a win-win for me.

My kids know the basics like making their bed, sweeping, and mopping. So, I realized that now is the perfect time to crack down. I have a teen and near-teen who want money and a daughter who wants to be like her mom and help.

Do you ever feel this way? Does the Sisyphean nature of housework ever overwhelm you? If you have kids, do they do chores? I would love to hear your input on this one.

For now, I am going to go enjoy a hot cup of coffee and ponder why I didn’t start this much sooner.

_____

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Member Comments
Corey's picture
Corey
Housework
10/28/2008 at 12:24 pm
I had the same meltdown this weekend! The "oh-my-god-there-are-three-people-living-in-this-house-why-is-only-one-of-us-cleaning-up" rant. Since we only have one child, I can't pile all the chores on her (although she does have her responsibilities) and my husband doesn't do much either so it's mostly me getting stuck with it. And I work outside the home so it's tough. But I try not to be a martyr and I don't melt down too often, gentle nudges, aka nagging usually works well enough!


Making needs known...
10/28/2008 at 1:57 pm
My little man loves to "hep" mama, but is only 22-months, so there's not too much "hepping" he can do at this point. He "heps" me unload the bottom of the dishwasher, but isn't tall enough for the top rack yet. We got him his own broom too so that he can "hep" me sweep without breaking our 55-gallon fish tank. :) But I think I've discovered the "secret" with my husband. He doesn't mind helping around the house, but he has to know that I'm working on something too. So if I say (as I did Sunday night), "ok - you make dinner while I fold the laundry," he's much more willing to do it since he knows that I'm working too. It helps that I'd already cleaned the kitchen and run a load of dishes before I asked him to do anything too. But then I really don't mind being the main housekeeper (since I "only" work part-time from home while he works 11-hr days plus 1.5 hrs of commuting). As the little man (and his younger sibling due Dec 20th) get bigger, they'll be given more responsibilities for caring for their own things and common areas.


not yet
10/28/2008 at 5:10 pm
I am constantly overwhelmed by my never-ending housework! And my kids are 4, 2, and 5 months, so they're not big on the chores yet. The 2- and 4-year-old set the table, and they pick up their toys and help make beds, but that's it. I'm starting to think the 4-year-old could probably help more but have not implemented any kind of system yet, though I want to get something figured out because I could really use the help!


rachel's picture
rachel
I finally realize I cant get
10/28/2008 at 9:17 pm
I finally realize I cant get everything done in 1 day. It's always a work in progress.


Tame Toy Clutter
11/4/2008 at 9:46 am
My house was taken over by toys and their parts. With most of those parts being scattered everywhere! I've started using Toy Tamers a product by Kids' Klutter Tamers www.kidskluttertamers.com and they are wonderful! These Toy Tamer products are a durable vinyl that is see thru and has vinyl mesh sides. They zip closed so that they toys actually stay contained. They are also very easy for my 2 and 4 year olds to move around the house with the carrying handle. The handle also unsnaps and I can attach the Toy Tamer filled with parts to the bigger toy that it goes with. And the best part is the toy picture holder. I've put pictures of the toys into the i.d. holder and he knows exactly what toys go with his Toy Tamer. He is very excited to use these... unlike the boxes and bins I've tried in the past. Finally, toy organization that works!


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