The Parenting Post Blog

Ode to Big Ducks

By Daring Young Mom on Wednesday, May 20, 9:46 am EDT

When I was born, my mom made me a 2-sided flannel blanket that I lovingly referred to as Woobie as I was growing up… and all through college… and after I was married. My NEED for the blanket diminished with time but it was still nice to have around. I used it as a blindfold when my room wasn’t dark enough. I kept it in a drawer beside my bed in case I was sad one night and needed an old friend. Woobie was always there for me until the last few shreds of fabric had disintegrated and there was nothing left to grab onto.

Years later, a mother myself, I was going through the hardest period of my adult life when I called my mom one day crying and asked her to make me a new Woobie. She made it and FedExed it and I received it with the next day’s mail. It was so comforting to me and now when I go away overnight, I leave it with Dan so he won’t get lonely.

Well, I’m not the only one to receive one or two of these flannel blankies from my mama. She’s also made one for each of the grandkids. They work great as swaddlers when they’re young but as Laylee got older, the blanket’s appeal for her waned. Magoo is a different story all together.

He is emotionally and often physically attached to the blankie known around our house as “Big Ducks.” When it first became apparent how much he loved his ducky blanket, my mom took the remaining duck fabric scrap and made him a smaller version as a backup. Once there were two, he had to differentiate. Big Ducks and Little Ducks were christened.

It’s strange to watch the way he behaves with the blankie. He doesn’t just want it. He appears to NEED it. Just this morning he asked me to pause the movie he was watching because he’d forgotten he needed Big Ducks and wanted to run and get it without missing any of the movie.

He doesn’t just cuddle with it. He EXPERIENCES it. Magoo rubs the blanket in between his fingers and brushes it against his face. His favorite feature of the blanket is its scent. I can’t always detect a scent on the blanket but he always can. When he’s getting sleepy, he holds Big Ducks up to his face right under his nose and breathes in long calming breaths, his lips fluttering in and out with some distant sense memory of nursing. It’s really quite fascinating.

He will toss and turn in his bed at nap time but I know sleep is just a few moments away once he starts to inhale his Big Ducks. The other day we were taking a long drive with his 4-year-old cousin when he started zoning out and sucking back the flannel fumes. He paused mid-inhale and turned his sleepy face to his cousin. “Hey Beanie, do you wanna smell my Big Ducks?” he said holding it out to her. She politely declined.

But Dan never declines. He’s always willing to smell Big Ducks and revel in its awesomeness with Magoo. That’s what good dads do, play catch and smell their kids’ blankets on demand. I think that’s why for Dan’s birthday this year, the only thing Magoo wanted to get him was his very own Big Ducks. When I told him I didn’t think Dad needed a blankie, Magoo insisted, “But he doesn’t even have his own Big Ducks! He needs one.”

Not wanting to squelch his tender, thoughtful gift-giving instinct, I acquiesced and the day of Dan’s birthday was spent making him a Curious George flannel blankie, very similar to Magoo’s beloved Ducks. Dan made a huge fuss out of it and it was cute to watch them sitting on our bed together trading inhales and rubbing the blankies on each others’ faces with huge grins and mutual sighs of contentment.

Magoo turns 4 this summer and it occurs to me to wonder how long is too long for him to hold on so tightly to a comfort object. Then I remember the FedEx package I requested just a couple of years ago and I decide it’s none of my business.

Are you or your kids attached to anything with such a passionate fervor? If so, I’d love to hear what it is. Don’t say chocolate because, well, I think that one’s too universal to really be relevant.

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Member Comments
How do I love him... Let me count the ways.
5/20/2009 at 11:42 am
Yeah, I admit it. I've smelled Big Ducks.


Karen's picture
Karen
I am in college and have
5/20/2009 at 11:54 am
I am in college and have slept with "blue blankie" forever. there's not such thing as too old for a blankie.


christy's picture
christy
My son is also turning 4
5/20/2009 at 12:38 pm
My son is also turning 4 shortly and depends on a teddy bear he got the day he was born. He simply goes by Baby (the bear does). Chase rubs the softer ear (because there is a difference and he can show you exactly which one) under his nose across his upper lip with his thumb in his mouth. His eyes get dreamy and eyelids get heavy immediately. Baby has had 2 tracheotomies repaired and his bathes must be timed to not interfere with naps or bedtimes. I agree, it's not a want it's a need to experience. There is shear panic when he is missing...amongst us all. There is no alternative. My mom found the same exact bear when my 18 month old was born and not even he will suffice. My other 4 year old could care less about something soft. Although, try to take away the rock or car he has clutched in his hand and there will be war.


Blankies etc.
5/20/2009 at 1:33 pm
I almost cried when I read this piece as I have been a confirmed blanket carrier all my life. Mine is called bobie (though honestly I have never spelled it and the actual pronunciation is bow-bee) and has changed form to another as is has disintegrated and been replaced over the years. My one stipulation is that it be something like pajama bottoms as I love the rub the elastic on my face and inhale the smell - so weird but yet so great to "zone out" to as you say. I honestly do the same as your son, if I can't find bobie, I can't sleep and my (poor) husband and I have to play "hunt the bobie" until I do. I wonder if when I have kids I will do what my dad did for me. When I was shy and nervous about going to school, he cut a little piece of my bobie and put it in my school bag for me to touch - a little bit of home comfort for the day. As the years have gone by, bobie has been there - he (yes, he's a he) wiped away my tears, been an eye cover and generally helped me sleep when nothing else can. My husband thinks I am nuts, but what can I do? The main thing is, I think there are many bobie, blankie etc carriers out there and some of us keep on forever!


BB Bear
5/20/2009 at 4:25 pm
Never being the creative one when it came to names, the name of the bear given to me by my uncle when I was 3 or 4 was B.B. Bear - standing for "basic brown bear," as it said on the tag. BB was a very well stuffed bear and at some point shortly after he joined our family, he became my pillow. He went with me to summer camps and vacations. He came to college with me in the dorms...and even on a couple of overseas business trips post-college. It wasn't until several months after I married my husband (I was 29 when we married) that BB finally went to join the collection of very "real" animals (belonging to both me _and_ my husband) that now sits on top of one of our bookshelves. My 2-yr-old son, who has never shown any interest in anything remotely resembling a comfort object one day pointed up to that collection and said "want bear." I gave him the one that was the most sturdy of the lot (not BB, who has needed stitches many times in his life) and he's hardly let go of Buddy bear since then.


Maggie's picture
Maggie
I could not live without my
5/20/2009 at 5:05 pm
I could not live without my blankie! It had a satin edge...I used to suck my thumb and scratch the satin with my forefinger...so comforting! I still think of that when I feel satin liners on jackets and such. Great post!


Clean Green
5/20/2009 at 6:54 pm
I had a green blanket with ducks on it. It gradually shrank, from really huge to now about the size of a hand towel. It somehow got the name "clean green" even when it was quite filthy. It once got left at a hotel in Washington, DC. I was about 5. I clearly remember when it arrived at my home in Houston. I tore into the box on the driveway and tossed it in the air and smelled it, etc. One of my most vivid memories of my early childhood. Neither of my girls are attached to any 1 thing. They cycle through things - a blanket, a toy, then a few months later, something different. Strange how they are so different. :)


Aunt Murry's picture
Aunt Murry
I have to confess
5/20/2009 at 7:47 pm
I sleep with a Tigger, that I got when I was 23 (i'm 45). Before that it was a teddy bear. My niece slept with her chickie and she too rubbed it under her nose. If you want to know the science of it keep reading, if you don't stop now... There is a nerve that resides just under the nose that when rubbed cause the person/child to relax. It is also the same one you pinch if you don't want to sneeze...


Blankies
5/20/2009 at 8:57 pm
My two kids are attached to their blankies. They are made of yarn and not as cute as the quilts I made them, but kids will make their own crazy choices! My step-daughter loves her "clothie," which is nothing more than a thin cloth diaper. She is now 10 and cannot sleep without it.


Proud Daughter of Eve's picture
Proud Daughter of Eve
I guess I never got that
5/20/2009 at 9:15 pm
I guess I never got that attached to my blankie - though there was a period where my sister and I fought over who got to have it - because he's still in good condition, presumably tucked away in a box somewhere waiting for the grandkids to arrive. (Funny how often the comfort object seems to be a "he.") Now instead I have a full-size quilt made by my mother and grandmother for me out of a Transformers (original generation, thank yew veddy much) sheet when I went to college. I gave the complete sheet set to the little boy I used to watch but I just couldn't bear to part with the quilt. In some ways, I think it's my new blankie. And hey, a little comfort and security go a long way, eh?


Emily in IL's picture
Emily in IL
Gotta love them!
5/20/2009 at 9:58 pm
I am 30 years old and still have the stuffed rabbit (Bozo) that I was given for my 2nd Easter. This bunny used to be pink but is now dirty concrete grey. I used to trance out to the smell on one part of Bozo's ear, so I COMPLETELY understand about Big Ducks. I think it's sweet and your post really made me tear up. Thank God for amazingly wonderful children!


You know I had a blanket
5/21/2009 at 12:44 am
You know I had a blanket (and pillow) that slept with up through college.


Meg's picture
Meg
Muckie
5/21/2009 at 10:36 am
I called my blankie Muckie, a strange name that grew more appropriate over the years. I definitely "needed" Muckie in order to sleep, sit, or basically exist. I remember when I was about four, my aunt suggesting I give up Muckie, who by that time had lived up to its name, and get a different blankie. I screamed and cried at the thought, which was never brought up again. I had Muckie stored in a ziploc bag-well, pieces of Muckie, really, as it had looked like a spider web since I was six-in the first house my husband and I lived in together. Our basement flooded during back-to-back hurricanes, and Muckie was destroyed. I was actually more distraught over Muckie than all the old pictures I also lost. My sister had a doll that she would carry while sucking her thumb. She dissolved all the clothes with drool, and my mom was always making it new clothes. She also pulled all the hair out over time. It was the ugliest, creepiest doll you could imagine, but she carried it everywhere until it got so incredibly gross and smelly that my mom threw it out. She's 23 now and not at all sentimental, but she still gets angry and sad when she thinks of the loss of her beloved doll.


My little girl, Apple, has
5/21/2009 at 10:51 am
My little girl, Apple, has "Dolly." Out of all of her soft friends, I am not sure why she is so attached to this one. Dolly was given to us at one of my baby showers by a student of mine. She is pink (dingy pink now) with a little rattle inside. When I hear that rattle gently shaking through the monitor, I know Apple is lulling herself to sleep. I live in fear of losing dolly and even made a friend drive with her in the front seat to our new house when we moved. She is like another member of the family. Now I am just wondering if my baby boy will develop a love like this with something. I hope so. It's a special bond.


Anonymous's picture
Anonymous
blue blankie
5/21/2009 at 12:07 pm
Like a previous commenter, I have a "blue blankie" that has been with me since I was a child. (I'm now 34, married with a child of my own.) My son also has a blue blanket he calls "wawa." His nursery mistakenly sent it home with another child and we didn't get it back until a week later...the longest week of my life. I can still hear his little voice crying for wawa. Definitely a need at this stage, and perfectly normal, I think!


Pam in Utah's picture
Pam in Utah
I don't know that my kids
5/21/2009 at 12:26 pm
I don't know that my kids were too attached to anything for too long (let me know, kids :)), but when I was little I had a blue stuffed toy-quick draw mcgraw-that I thought was fun and kept a long time.


Michelle at Parenting.com's picture
Michelle at Parenting.com
Yellow Blankie
5/21/2009 at 1:23 pm
Mine were Yellow Blankie and Little Yellow Pillow. I always wanted Little Yellow Pillow to be cold; I liked Yellow Blankie at any temp, but hot out of the dryer was particularly good. (I don't have them with me now -- they're still at my parents' house. Though I was briefly tempted to take the blankie off to college.)


Fleur's picture
Fleur
Hankies and Pillow
5/21/2009 at 2:27 pm
I was a big thumb sucker growing up and as I always had allergies I would suck my thumb while clutching a hankie up to my nose. I still to this day always have a hankie somewhere on my person (up my sleeve, tucked into my waist band or bra) and will wake up in the middle of the night in mild panic if I cant find a hankie - this of course irritates my husband. But due to my constant allergies, I feel justified in my hankie dependence. I also have a pillow that I got when I was 10 (I am now 28) that was a very expensive allergy pillow. I have travelled the world and that pillow has come with me :) It is the best and most comfortable pillow ever and my husband always tries to get into bed first so he can steal it!


grammyelin's picture
grammyelin
The most exciting thing in the world - for a Gramma
5/21/2009 at 2:42 pm
is be able to give our children something that they really love. When they latch onto a gift we've chosen or made with love, it gives us a sense of euphoria (not unlike the one Magoo gets from Big Ducks). I guess I'll keep making those woobies - just in case another child might fall under their spell. What a great payoff!


Josh Dobbins's picture
Josh Dobbins
Blue
5/21/2009 at 4:19 pm
Our 4 year old boy has a stuffed dog called "blue" who he takes with him everywhere he goes and he has had some version of him for 4 years. At first he had a blue mini-blanket with a dog head in the middle, he lost it so we got him a blue dog from Target. He lost that twice so we bought two more over the years and Target stopped selling the "blue" so we were worried that this would be the last one but my wife saw the same dog at TJ Maxx so she bought it as a backup just in case our son loses blue again. We figure that if he loses the TJ Maxx dog, that will be the end of "blue".


Heather's picture
Heather
My 11 year old still sleeps
5/21/2009 at 5:18 pm
My 11 year old still sleeps with the yellow blanket she came home from the hospital in. My 7 year old has a Winnie the Pooh that he rubs under his nose and sticks its ear in his own ear, while sucking his thumb. The thing is nasty but he won't let me throw it out.


Burpies
5/21/2009 at 5:59 pm
My girls have burpies that they love....they're actually cloth diapers with pretty prints on them. I love it when kids have special object attachments. But I think my most favorite part of this post is when you asked your mom to make you a new woobie when you were going through a difficult time. And that she made it for you and sent it right away. That is just sweet.


Martina's picture
Martina
My sister's son is seven,
5/26/2009 at 1:25 pm
My sister's son is seven, and got his blankie when he was a baby. The blankie is in bad shape, the corners torn, but he would never go to bed without it. Last year, before my sister's birthday, he told her he would give her his blankie as a birthday present, but she needs to wash it and fix it first. My sister told him that if he will give it to her, she gets to keep it and he can't have it anymore. What a surprise for him - he decided to give her a hug for her birthday instead!


That is so sweet! Big Ducks
5/31/2009 at 1:19 am
That is so sweet! Big Ducks and Little Ducks and Curious George. So cute. My daughter won't let me sew up the big holes in her "Baby [don't forget the capital B] Blanket" (originally called simply "baby" until her little sister was born), because she loves to poke her fingers in them lovingly. I wish I had a backup for her. And maybe even one for myself.


Bev's picture
Bev
My dd has Puppy. He is a
7/11/2009 at 4:09 pm
My dd has Puppy. He is a dog shaped pillow, who is loosing his fur. Dd likes to spit on him a bit to make him "crusty". She likes to rub his crusty spots across her lips. He often becomes "stinkin' puppy" and then it is time for a bath a.k.a a run through the washer/dryer. She is growing out of him. He often stays home now and for sure, waits patiently in the van while we shop. But he still needs the 7.5 yr old to go to sleep...


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