Funny Qs Kids Ask

Never Say that Word!

By Daring Young Mom on Friday, February 29, 8:00 am EST

Laylee came up to me the other day with a snooty look on her face. "Hey mom," she said, "Am I allowed to say 'WHAT THE--!?' Because I just did."

I decided that no, I was not comfortable with her shouting "WHAT THE--!?" on the playground at preschool, whether or not she added "hell" to the end of it. It just doesn't sound right.

There are a lot of words and expressions I just don't want to hear coming out of my 5-year-old's mouth. She should be talking about fluffy bunnies, fairies and marshmallow peeps, not saying how much everything "sucks" or telling people she's gonna "kick their trash." We haven't had any run-ins with the big bad swear words yet and it seems that most of the time I don't know what I don't want her to say until I hear her say it.

The fun part is that all of her friends have different vocab intolerances in their homes so they're always policing each other in a confusing sort of word police convention. "Do not say 'stupid.' It's a bad word!"

"No it's not. I hate it when you say that."

"Do not say 'hate.' We're never allowed to say that."

So I try to explain that all families have different rules and we should try to respect each other. "If you want to be friends with Lucy then you need to accept her along with all the crap she dishes out. But don't ever say 'crap'."

I once had a friend whose parents would yell, "NEVER SAY THAT WORD!" after each swear word was said as they were watching a moving. It became kind of a joke and Dan and I will often say it to each other when we hear some choice nugget of vocabularic creativity.

Another problem I have is that I have different tolerance for certain words when they're said by a different one of my kids. A good example of this is the word "Gosh." When Laylee says, "Oh my GOSH!" she invariably sounds like she's taking the Lord's name in vain, a super serious offence around these parts. So I've asked her not to say it because it's just too close. Magoo on the other hand could not possibly be cuter as he furrows up his brow in frustration at a given task and sigh/hisses, "OH. GOSS!" I LOVE it. My instinct is to encourage him to say it more but every time he does, Laylee comes down like a hammer. "We don't say 'gosh' Magoo. It sounds like we're talking bad about Heavenly Father."

What the--?

It's really not what they say, but how they say it that gets some words nixed. What's totally off limits at your house?

Corey

What the...

2/29/2008 at 10:19 am

My daughter went through a "What the..." phase. She never put anything after the what, but just the way it was said implied what was going there. It drove me crazy and I finally got her to stop. I just recently came down on her for saying she's "smokin' hot". She meant temperature, but it just really didin't sound right to me. But I can only imagine it's going to get so much worse over the years!

Stephanie

I don't like the word

2/29/2008 at 11:30 am

I don't like the word "can't." I don't know the words, "I can't" just drive me nuts. We don't say hate either. Or stupid.

maribel

Discovering Words...

2/29/2008 at 11:51 am

Every child goes through the phase of discovering words that result in inmediate parental reactions. You know, adult words. My 5 year old said a huge one the other day and I almost fainted. The fact of the matter is they usually just repeat what they hear and don't really know what it means. The best approach is to ask them what they think it means. When they say they don't know, you have the choice to tell them the meaning if it's appropriate and explain why it's not alright for them to say this word or any other word that they don't know the definition to. This usually works.... Check out my site, it has behavior management of little ones and might help: http://psychmom.typepad.com/psychmomreflections

Jamie

Whatever mom...

2/29/2008 at 1:29 pm

My 5-year-old has started saying "Whatever....." with the sassiness of a 15-year-old. That drives me nuts. She even said it to my 75-year-old dad this week, but he found it amusing. I did not. ;) Other words that are considered "bad," that aren't necessarily full frontal curse worse are hate, stupid, fart (I'd vote for toot any day), and the phrase that kills me, "You're not my friend any more!" I've also gotten the "I hate you mommy!" Oh that one stinks. I can cuss like a sailor behind closed doors so I really try to watch the language in front of my girls.

Christina

The concept of insults have

6/25/2008 at 11:11 am

The concept of insults have finally been understood in my almost-four year old's little mind. My husband said to her "what's going on Rumplestiltskin". Now, she, having forgotten this is one of her favorite fairy tales and took it as an insult, came back with, "I am not a Rumplestiltskin, you're a cat poop"!!!!! A cat poop, of all things!!! So before we could explain that it is not nice to call names, we both had to go in the bathroom and turn on the fan to cover the sounds of our laughter.

Angela

You know, "What the--?" is

2/29/2008 at 1:38 pm

You know, "What the--?" is REALLY big right now. Everyone says it. It's sort of alarming how many children I have heard say it in the last few months. I have said "whattheheck!?" as a joke most of my life, so I've never even thought of it said a different way. My two year old saying "What the--!?!" is really funny to me. She says it when she's surprised. But when my 4 year old said it for the first time, it sounded a little too harsh coming from him. I let it run it's course though because it didn't bother me that much and he has a tendency to cling to that which I try to get rid of. On the other hand, "hate" "crap" and "stupid" are the bad words around here. I say crap, don't even realize I'm saying it, but it sounds so vulgar when a child says it. So I've gotten better. My very, very obedient and mild-mannered 4 year old loses his cool sometimes and when he's being banished (his word, not mine) to his room he yells "STUPIDHATECRAP!" because it's the worst thing he can think of. It's just about the funniest thing we've seen and we have a really hard time not laughing right out loud. Oh yeah, I also think the word "fart" is vulgar. We don't use it here.

chilihead

We don't say

2/29/2008 at 5:04 pm

We don't say 'stupid' or 'shut up'. In fact, my daughter was reading a book from school to me the other day (from her reading group, as homework) and it had 'shut up'. She looked up and asked if she could read it. Oye. Really? In a school book? Come on.

Della

words not allowed

2/29/2008 at 6:14 pm

I don't allow "That's not fair!" in my house. I also don't allow "hate" or "evil". For awhile my daughter, who's 6, was playing with her dolls and talking about the "evil queen". I told her not to say that, and she got really confused - "But mom! ALL queens ARE evil!" I realized in her experience, she's right! Most movies have "good" princes and princesses, but "evil" queens and stepmothers!

Baby Dumpling's Poppa

Nothing Dear...

2/29/2008 at 10:49 pm

Whenever my wife says, "What did you say?" That's how I know the word is not o.k. Usually I can't remember the list because we don't use real swear words, but I think the first one on the list is crap but I'm not sure.

For a Season

Psuedo-Swearing

3/1/2008 at 8:37 am

"What the------!" is huge with my 11 yr old right now. My 7 yr old daughter tried out one of her dad's words the other day and it did NOT fly. We've been trying to come up with alternatives that are not offensive. Our pastor gave a sermon on thinking of alternative, creative utterances to stand apart as Christians in our speech. Taking this to heart, my kids can now be heard calling each other, Pleabian, Yetti, or Worm Turd. Their favorite expletive when they are angry, for now, is, "Oh,Hamster Nipple!" This always results in the angry one giggling and not being angry much longer. (Somehow, I'm not convinced the pastor had quite envisioned such "creativity".)

Jess

The two big ones around here

3/1/2008 at 5:02 pm

The two big ones around here that the girls are not allowed to say are hate and stupid. They can say silly in place of stupid; I just think stupid is a really unkind word that kids are so flip about using. Oh, and shut up in on the 'the list,' as well. Jess

KYouell

Fascinating

3/1/2008 at 5:18 pm

We are dealing with a speech delay over here, so if The Biscuit was to say ANY word other than "hi" clearly I think I would dance in the street, cuss word or not. But you all give me a lot to think about. I can't wait until this is our problem.

Christine OKelly

O'Kelly's don't say that!

3/2/2008 at 2:03 am

Love this post and the comments are just as hilarious!

My 6 year old has recently started trying out all kinds of different colorful words to see what he can get away with. Each time he is told that one is off limits, his next step is to get his one unsuspecting friend to say it - ahh!! Kids sure are creative.

One of the proudest moments of my life happened when my kids were 3 and 4. I always told them that "can't" was a word that was off limits. Once when my then 3 year old son was complaining that he "couldn't" do something, my daughter said "Aidan, O'Kelly's don't say can't!" That was great :) Stephanie - I love that you have the same intolerance of this word - how cool!

Kat (Looney)

bad words

3/3/2008 at 11:44 am

We have told our 3 year old not to say Butt, Darn it, Stupid, Duh!, and now Oh my gosh. I don't mind the darn it or oh my gosh, since we say those around him instead of the more risque words...but the funny things are when he points out a "dump truck" and tells us what it is...he pronounces the "tr" as "f" and forgets the "p" on the end of "dump"...also when talking about Thomas the train, he talks about how much he likes Percy--although he can't do "er" as anything but "uw"...you figure it out...

Anonymous

Honestly? My parents rarely

3/4/2008 at 10:32 pm

Honestly? My parents rarely told me I "couldn't" use a word (they were far more likely to tell someone else to speak to me like an adult - baby talk was strictly verboten in my house) They often asked me to be more articulate, to explain why I was frustrated, but that just gave me the biggest vocabulary of anyone I knew and impressed every teacher I ever had. Only word I remember they were really upset abpit was a substitution - frig (you can guess what I was substituting it for) - and I had no idea why until I looked up the actual meaning, and discovered the victorian pornographic usage (this would have been when I was 9 or so). whoops. I didn't use it much after that, unless I felt like pissing them off.

Brandi

dirty word?

3/5/2008 at 2:16 pm

My 17 year old is getting into the habbit of saying "freakin". Yes we all know what it implies, but if that's all she says, then who cares? I'm a very happy parent that's the worst of it!

Sheena

totally dude!

3/7/2008 at 4:06 pm

Okay so I have gone through our share of off limit words through the years and somehow when they are said as a small child they sound awful but when they hit twelve it's not quite so bad as you see their peers saying much worse and you are grateful yours isn't. So what to do in a house with twelve on down to three year olds?..... Try to be humorous and creative about it and really it is how you say it more than the word....that is very true. As long as they don't take the Lord's name in vain I have learned to let it slide, and of course I try to encourage more classy words for expressing emotions like, "Totally dude", and "radical"...you know those words sooo totally rock! LOL

Stacey

I NEED ADVISE

5/6/2008 at 11:35 pm

My 21/2 year old son has learned how to say f*****g B**** and I have tried everything to break him of it. I have done the whole that word is not nice to putting soap, liquid smoke and even vinegar in his mouth and he still does it. I don't know how to approach this issue for the mere fact that I am a first time mom and it is all new to me. We don't say swear words in my house and I don't want him to either but he has picked it up and I don't know how to approach the issue of getting him to realize that it isn't nice. When he says it or just the f word I have asked him what he said and he responds as "I be nice". I know he knows it is wrong but if he does why does he continue to use it. More times to none it is when he has done something he is not suppose to and he is being told what he did wrong that he looks you in the face and says it. Please anybody send me a message with advise. froglover692004@hotmail.com (please label message as helpful advise on correcting childs use of curse words.) Thank you, Stacey

LeeLee

Pre-schoolers and the great discovery of words!!!

6/4/2008 at 4:37 pm

My oldest sone is 4 and is just about finished with his first year of preschool. Unfortunately he has been learning more than whats on the teachers lesson plan. Just the other day we were about to go on a trip to the store, when a huge gust of wind blew by and when I asked my son to put a little pep in his step he replies "I would if all this d*** wind would stop!" I was horrified!!! Especially since the neighbors were sitting on their front porch within ear-shot! After chastising him I havent heard that word again but recently he has picked up "Uh-duh mommy" I'll have to see wut i can do about that one!!!!

joujou

what the******

7/3/2008 at 1:45 am

My 3 year old says what the hell, is he doing as he as he is watching Tommy and Jerry. I could not believe it I asked him not to say it anymore. Sometimes I have to walk away when he opens his mouth. We don't like the word can't or scared.

Mart

My oldest son whom is 7, i

7/5/2008 at 8:01 pm

My oldest son whom is 7, i dont think ive ever heard him sware or partly sware. but my daughter whom is 4 years old has said a few curse words. i couldn't believe it the first time it happened. The shock of hit me and i just froze, i didn't know what to say. lukily I think ive got her out of that phase now

ME!

WOWOWOWOW

12/17/2008 at 2:09 pm

i think that honestly a word like crap isn't bad. It is the type of word that kids say so that they don't say the other word. When a child comes home to you and says crap don't go and bring out the soap....and don't go and give them time out.... instead try and talk it over with them. WOuld you rather have your child saying crap or the s word????? saying the word crap is the only thing that stops your child from saying the s word.

champ

the words

4/17/2009 at 6:09 pm

the words crap,hell,stupid,or ass aren't much of bad words unless you are under 9.to me its just words and i dont know why you cant say it at any age,but thats how they made it.i let my ten year old son watch like family guy,south park,or the office because he says they are very funny.he does not like nickeloedian shows at all.he says they are boring.but when he will start speaking in any mature language under the age of 14 then im going to have to block the shows from his tv until he learns his lesson.he never really yet said any bad words except once because he was reading something and it had the word uncle f**ker and he said that word but it was only an accident.