The Parenting Post Blog

My Little Glamour Dolls

By My Brown Baby on Friday, September 25, 11:36 am EDT

I don’t know where they get it from, these chocolate little girl pies with their affinity for baby pink fingernail polish and glossy lips and butterfly necklaces and cute shoes. It’s certainly not from their mother. Most afternoons when Mari and Lila tumble off the school bus and up the front stoop giggling, twists flying, pink fingernails slicing through the air, I greet them in shorts and oversized t-shirts, hair barely combed, lips crackling, finger nails chipped and in serious need of a manicurist’s intervention. Some days, Lila pulls out her strawberry lemon lip balm (she calls it her lipstick) and gently pushes it in my face as I lean in for a “welcome home” smooch. Apparently, the 7-year-old’s got a problem with chapped lips.

Whatever. Clearly, getting red-carpet ready for the after school rush of homework, activities, and dinner isn’t really on my radar. It’s not a priority, either, when I’m running errands, or meeting friends for coffee or doing something outside of the house that doesn’t require high heels and a cute dress.

It is what it is, okay? I am Bettye Millner’s child, and no child of Bettye’s was going to hit the streets with a face full of make-up if she could help it. In her world, a bare face was the best face -- clean and acne free, pure and unadulterated. It was the only way for good girls to be, she’d tell me as she blotted her maroonish-red lipstick on a tissue and applied a little mascara and a swipe or two of blush -- the only make-up she ever wore. Nowadays, I’m pretty sure she was just trying to stave off the day her daughter would look way more grown than she needed to look. But these things are neither her nor there; like a good daughter, I simply followed her rules.

Still do. Unless I’m doing a major presentation, facing a television camera, or trying to look super cute on a date with my husband, Nick, my vast collection of Aveda, Bobbi Brown, and M.A.C products remains tucked in a make-up bag in the far corner beneath my bathroom sink. It’s just how I do.

Now, I’ve always been quick to say this to anyone who asks, but I made the mistake of making my bare-is-best proclamation to one of the world’s most glamorous women -- actress Diahann Carroll. And she kinda let me have it, as I recounted in a MyBrownBaby post about our raucous make-up convo earlier this year.

Still, despite Ms. Carroll admonishments, I’m really happy the way I look, with or without make-up, and I make no apologies for it.

So then I’m not really clear where my girls get all this “get girly” stuff from. I mean, they’re downright ferocious out on the soccer field, and can give their cousins Miles and Cole -- two roughians who are seriously all boy -- a run for their pennies when it comes to making their way around a yard or playing with bugs or climbing trees or doing the stuff that little boys do. But Mari and Lila also love getting gussied up. Mari is obsessed with her nails -- clears them of dirt and files them incessantly, and paints them nearly every night. Lila? Well she loves looking fancy. Say the word “shopping,” and girlfriend will book to her room and pack a purse with lip balm, put barrettes in her hair, and pull on a skirt and sparkly t-shirt and start oiling me up for a new pair of shoes -- for her.

I suppose it would be best if I just make the girls tamp down all of the sparkles and lip balm. Who needs her 7-year-old changing clothes and greasing up her lips so she looks fancy at the mall? Like, who does she think is going to be watching?

Still, I think there’s some validity to what Diahann Carroll told me -- that it’s okay to look good for you, if looking good makes you feel good. This is true, too, even for chocolate girl pies who like enjoy getting fancy.

And every now and then, I follow my girls’ lead and borrow a little of their strawberry lemonade lip balm, and take an extra look in the mirror to make sure my hair isn’t a total mess -- happy that I like what I see, no matter what.

I pray that this is what my fancy girls decide, too, when they have children of their own, and they find the time to actually look in the mirror. A bare face is fine, but it’s the confidence that’ll stick.

My Brown Baby 


Member Comments
Latonya's picture
Latonya
Plain me
9/25/2009 at 5:29 pm
I am one who doesn't care for make-up or any of the other girly stuff, but my daughters are not like me. Even though they are only 2 and almost 5, they enjoy lip gloss. They just use chapstick not the fancy stuff since the 2 year old likes to eat it more than wear it. I especially notice this girly attitude when it is time to get their hairwash and a new hairstyle. My oldest daughter says "Is it beauty shop day." The first thing they do when I am finish combing, run to the mirror and ask their daddy to look at their hair. Girls. I am trying to be more in tune with myself as it relates to the girly things, I guess a little lip gloss won't hurt, but anything else is pushing it :)


I'm right there with you...
9/28/2009 at 1:26 pm
I don't even remember being all that concerned about hair and lip gloss and fingernails and things when I was a kid, either. Except for that unfortunate time when my mom was in the hospital and my Dad, charged with doing my hair, gave me a jherri curl. Right. That's a whole 'nother post, though... (I think I'm still a little traumatized...)


I can relate
9/27/2009 at 10:09 pm
Great Post Denene. Since I work from home, I can relate. But after reading this article today and reading your post about Diahann Carroll, I put on little makeup before I went to the grocery store. Just a little...but it felt good.


And your husband and kids will appreciate it, too!
9/28/2009 at 1:28 pm
Ronnie, just make sure you tell them not to get all used to it and whatnot, because the moment you decide you don't want to be bothered with the make-up to go pick up milk is the moment they'll give you the side-eye. Don't take it girl! Stand tall! LOL!


Arlice Nichole's picture
Arlice Nichole
I Overdosed My Daughter!
9/28/2009 at 6:43 pm
I think it's fab that your cute little ladies get down with the lip smack and... boogies with bugs too! (EWA) They're so well rounded. I think my mother must have been old school when it came to makeup too, even the kiddy kind. She would bring home those Avon books from work and I would always tear out the page that pictured the bubble gum, strawberry and tangerine flavored lip glosses. They still sell those to this day too. For whatever reason, the never came home though. I assumed they must have been a fortune. I would later find out that they are only 79 cents. So they had to be even cheaper than that in the 80's. Right? Sigh. Anyway, I'll never know why my mom didn't let me indulge. But you better believe when my daughter hit 5 I bought my baby ALL the flavors, and made sure she was well stocked with the special edition lip glosses every single season! When I stumbled on the old school jumbo Bonnie Bell strawberry, grape, and orange lip glosses on a string, it was over! LOL. Now, when I come across an uber fabulous sounding flavor every blue moon, I bring it to her, and she says really mom? Another one? She's 10 now and probably a bit tired of the lip stuff. She don't know how good she got it.


OMG—Arlice, You're a NUT!!!
9/28/2009 at 7:17 pm
Your comment made me laugh out LOUD!!!! Absolutely hysterical. And they NEVER know how good they got it, do they?!


times have changed
9/28/2009 at 6:47 pm
You should greet them at the door one day in a ballgown just to mess with 'em, LOL! I wasn't allowed to wear make-up and fingernail polish except at special occasions (meaning sweet 16 and prom). My college roommates took pity on me and taught me a lot. To this day, I still prefer a fresh-scrubbed face over make-up and clean, clipped nails over polish. Sometimes I will dust on some bronzer and a little shimmer gloss if I look tired. It seems girls today start out wanting to be dolled-up much younger and there is so much product on the market for them. I am really torn about letting my daughter wear cosmetics if she turns out to be a girly girl (still hoping she will be a tomboy liker her mama). Luckily I have a few years before I have to worry about it. :-)


I've Got the Perfect Dress!
9/28/2009 at 7:18 pm
You think I won't when I will?! I'm going to do it this week—and I'm going to take pictures of their expressions... that's a great post in and of itself... ROFL!!!! GREAT suggestion, Teresha!


I WAS YOUR DAUGHTERS....
9/28/2009 at 7:10 pm
Denene, I was the same exact way when I was a kid. Always wanted to play with the boys b/c the girls were boring - but I'll be damned if I wasn't going to be cute doing it. I once got my butt whooped for going out to play in my sunday dress. But in my defense, it was the only thing I could find that was presentable, and clean. That was the cutest butt-whoopin' ever....lol. But honestly, I can say I got it from my mama. One of my fondest memories is sitting on the edge of the bathtub, watching her put on make up just to be in the house. When I would ask why, she would say "Because you just never know who will be stopping by". Of course, no one ever showed up - but it was the act of just always being presentable that has stuck with me to this day. (And between us girls, I still watch her get ready when I go home or when she comes to visit.) Now I have a daughter of my own, and truth be told, I can't wait for the day she is old enough to sit on the edge of the bathtub and watch her mama put on makeup just to be in the house - because you just never know who will be stopping by... Great post!


Not the Sunday Dress!!!
9/28/2009 at 7:22 pm
LOL!!! You guys are cracking me UP today! I would have paid good money to see that! You know, I use the "because you just never know who will be stopping by" philosophy when it comes to the cleanliness of my house, but my house will be clean as a whistle and I'll look like... the maid. UGH! The Fed-Ex guy thinks I'm a total slob, but he still makes small talk anyway, bless his heart. I think I have everybody trained not to come to the house expecting Denene to be all gussied up—LOL!


My 5 year old niece is
10/29/2009 at 6:20 pm
My 5 year old niece is completely over the top girly and her parents are close to being the complete opposite. A little too young yet for makeup but my goodness the wardrobe. Any family function she wants to wear her best fancy dress. Her kindergarten attire consists of very girly patterns and recently knee high bright pink and brown socks. She demands us to turn up Miley Cirus and similar pop tunes in the car. She is basically on the typical girly girl path that we picture when envisioning teenage mall shoppers. She even started crying when she spilled her juice box on her dress claiming that it wasn't ok because "its a brand-new dress". Its amazing how kids can often take on the opposite personalities of their parents. Its what makes them all unique and another reason to not assume your child will take on your personality, tastes, and likes.


Ticking time-bun (in the oven)'s picture
Ticking time-bun (in the oven)
You have the most beautiful girls
11/9/2009 at 2:17 pm
They're gorgeous! I'm in store for a girl myself in March (my first) and I'm so excited. I was never much for makeup or girlie things, so I'll be interested to see what comes about. I love your writing, and it might be the hormones but I have almost cried several times, and laughed more than that. It's so bolstering to read about the strength and love you water your flowers with, and it makes me more determined than ever to do the same. Your stories about your family mean a lot to me, and I just wanted to wish you the best of luck! Keep on rockin!


@Ticking time-bun (in the over)
11/13/2009 at 10:39 am
WOW! Thank you so much for your generous words... talk about making someone teary! I appreciate your support and I'm so glad that my stories touch you. This is why I do what I do—to help us moms figure out this motherhood thing. None of us is perfect—I sure know I'm not!—but it's so much more freeing to be able to talk about and share our trials and tribulations, isn't it? My hope is that my experiences will help other moms know that they're not alone, and maybe we can all share our ideas on how to just be better, you know? Best of luck with your new little girl—she's a lucky one!


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