The Parenting Post Blog

Home Work

By Rocks In My Dryer on Monday, September 28, 8:02 am EDT

I’m a freelance writer who works from home. For many years I viewed working at home as the ultimate ideal situation for a busy mom, the perfect way to roll together some family time and some professional goals.

It is ideal, in many ways -- I’m thankful for the work I have, especially in such messy economic times. But I’d be lying if I said the work-at-home set up is always a bed of roses -- it’s actually fraught with some significant challenges. Because I specialize in self-induced guilt trips, I cringe to venture a word of complaint. Many women would be very thankful to have this dilemma. I’m thankful to have this dilemma. These guilt trips aren’t especially productive, though. Especially these days, as I find myself in the middle of the most time-consuming project I’ve ever taken on, I need to get serious about finding the best way to strike balance in this tricky set-up.

This is the point in the post where I should tell you all the thoughtful solutions I’ve implemented thus far for setting healthy boundaries.  (Aaaand…you will notice it just got a little quiet.)

The truth is that I’m not exactly overrun with brilliant, thoughtful solutions, though I’ve tried to implement a few common-sense ideas. I try to set a defined space to work, and I stick to it (not always practical, since we don’t have a devoted office space in our home). Whenever it’s realistic, I work when the kids are at school (again, a luxury -- I am baffled, impressed and endlessly curious at how you work-at-home-moms of preschooler and homeschool kids manage).

Mostly I try (oh, how I try) to focus on the task at hand. I know it’s important and healthy to switch gears fully, engaging fully with my family when it’s time to leave work behind. This is easier said than done, some days, when that unfinished chapter or half-written invoice cackles at me from the desk down the hall. It’s entirely too tempting to hop up and finish, popping in and out of my roles so quickly that the boundaries get blurred. Many days, I’ve wondered (with tears of frustration) if the work-at-home arrangement is more geared for people who aren’t as distractible as I seem to be.

I suspect the not-altogether-easy answer lies in the mental discipline of setting boundaries and sticking with them. “The right thing isn’t always the easy thing,” I say to my kids, so many times they mouth the words along with me. It’s some advice I need to turn inward, as I continue to fumble my way through this.

And so I ask you (because I happen to know that the WAHM set-up is one that many readers here share with me): What are your best strategies for navigating the lines between work and home, especially when those two things reside within the same four walls?


Member Comments
Lindsey's picture
Lindsey
I've been working from home for 5 years
9/28/2009 at 7:31 pm
3 of which have been with kids, and I can say that I still struggle with balance, getting things done in a timely manner, and guilt (oh the guilt!). That being said, I have learned a few things, mostly relating to being more efficient when working:

-It's better to allot yourself a smaller period of focused time that will just meet the amount of work for a particular task. That's the whole 'need to get something done, ask a busy person' tactic.

-Divide work from everything else as much as possible. You discuss this with your workspace, but for me my digital space has been important. I have a different login/desktop from my personal stuff which keeps everything compartmentalized. That way I only have bookmarks, email, programs that apply to work, making it easier to stay on task.

-Decide how much nightly work (# of hours, which days) you're going to do after the kids go to bed. While it may seem counter intuitive to schedule work at night in the strive for work/home balance, I find that if it's scheduled I don't feel guilty when I need to stop working based on the kids' schedule, and I'm also not working each night.

-Schedule your work before you sit down to do the work. Whether that's a paper list of tasks and their order of importance or a more complex project management tool like BaseCamp, having it there will help. For me, doing it ahead of time is important, as it means that I can jump right in to work, not organizing, when I start working. This also applies to cleaning out your email box or any other regular organization tasks.

I could probably go on and on, but those are the things that have really helped me lately. It's all a work in progress, though, especially with kids to murk up the details.


Home Works
10/5/2009 at 9:09 am
I have been working from home for a few years now. It is still hard some days to get going but in the end it is still so worth it!


I am new to this WAHM thing
10/20/2009 at 5:38 pm
I am new to this WAHM thing (baby is 10 months old and I'm only working 8 hours a week), but one thing that has really helped is to use what time I can to just think. Meaning: when I'm rocking the baby to sleep, I think "what is the next thing I need to do for work, and what do I need to do first to get it going". I don't think about the next five things I need to do -- just the first one. Often I can get the mental pump primed and then when I do get to the computer (which isn't always immediate) I can jump right in to the appropriate task. If I can't get on it right away, I jot down my thoughts on a piece of paper.

I spend a ridiculous amount of time doing what feels like daydreaming -- just visualizing all the things I *would* do if not stuck in a chair -- but it helps me to prioritize, and to clarify where I need to ask questions or make further decisions before taking a step.

I completely agree with Lindsey on compartmentalizing your computer screen, and on scheduling ahead when possible. It's so nice to come down the stairs knowing what I'll do first, rather than feeling overwhelmed by all the options.



You need to be able to find
10/29/2009 at 6:09 pm
You need to be able to find your off switch when the work day is done. Routine is very important during the work day otherwise you will find yourself off schedule and easily distracted. Routines aren't always the most enjoyable way to work on a daily basis but its the only way I can get things done personally. In terms of home life after work I might actually get off routine a bit. You still obviously have the standard household tasks to do everyday but since you are now interacting with family you may not want to approach it so roboticly like you would do with work. Mixing it up a little provides spontaneity and usually more enjoyable human interaction. But my best advice would be to try your best to separate work and home life otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.


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