The Parenting Post Blog

Five things I miss about babyhood

By Daddy Daze on Monday, May 19, 10:00 am EDT

Last weekend I visited with a friend who is pregnant with her first. It was fun to talk with the two future parents and hear in their voices the same excitement and anticipation I felt five years ago, before Grace was born. Though I must admit, I had to stifle hysterical laughter when dad-to-be said, "I'm not worried about it at all. I mean, my life's not going to change...."

You just keep telling yourself that.

Amid stories about trips to Babies R Us and some really good pizza, I started to think about all of the "baby things" that my toddlers don't do anymore. While I don't miss changing diapers at 3:00 in the morning, there are several things I do miss. They should tell me, "Dad, this is the last time I'm going to do this. Pay attention, because this is it. Ready?"

Here's my list of five things I miss about babyhood:

1. The grasping reflex.

Once the kids were weaned and using bottles, I loved feeding them. I had a whole routine worked out. I sat on our bed, with one pillow against the headboard. The Boppy pillow lay across my folded legs with a towel folded on the far right corner.

With the baby in my left elbow, I'd hold the bottle with my right hand, and every time, Grace (and eventually William) would grab and hold my right pinkie. I know that it was an involuntary reflex, but that involuntary reflex was the highlight of my day.

Eventually, they wanted to hold the bottle on their own. No more holding hands with dad.

2. Supernatural sleeping powers.

Most parents complain that babies never sleep. I say they sleep often, though it isn't always when we'd like. Either way, you've got to love an infant's ability to fall asleep anytime and anyplace.

Consider how much easier a trip to the mall was with a newborn. A couple minutes in the stroller and junior. was out like a light, despite the noise, lights and teenagers doused in enough cologne to wake the dead.

Compare that to the same trip with two toddlers. "I have to go to the bathroom. Can we go on the carousel? I'm hungry. I'm tired, will you carry me? Stop hitting me! Can we get a puppy? William peed."

3. A naked fascination with everything.

I can remember Grace staring at her own reflection as if it were honest-to-goodness magic. Or William handling his toys with fascination and wonder, as if he had discovered the Rosetta Stone. I can't imagine literally experiencing everything for the very first time, so it was tremendously fun to watch.

I'm not saying that their sense of wonder died when they hit four, but the things they see every day -- trees, fire in the fireplace, the flowering bushes in the yard -- no longer elicit the same awed reaction.

4. Portability

While I was talking with my friends, the conversation shifted to the Baby Björn. If you're unfamiliar, it's this complicated contraption of straps and a pouch that essentially lets you wear your kid as a shirt.

With junior strapped in, you've got hands-free access to your day, closeness with the little nipper and the peace of mind that he's safe and secure.

Try putting a five year old in one.

5. The ignorance

Consider an 18-month-old's perspective of the world. It's quite compact. In fact, it's probably limited to mom and dad, toys, fun, food and sleep. No war in Iraq. No bills. No ridiculous gas prices. No illness, sadness, loneliness.

No video late fees, finding a broken egg in the carton, running out of milk when you really want some cereal or forgetting to charge your cell phone.

There's just you, the awesome adult(s) who loves you, the cool toys and the swell grub. Must be nice.

_____

Visit Daddy Daze's personal blog


Member Comments
I miss it too
5/21/2008 at 7:01 am
I know what you mean. It feels so special every time I get a new family in my office. When I lean over and start checking a baby, the families inevitably lean over with me and watch my every move. I listen for a murmur, feel their soft fontanelle, check the red reflex and rotate their hips in and out. All in all it takes a while to go through the complete exam and the family is usually silent waiting for me. When I finally I straighten up and look up at their eager faces, they raise their eyebrows and ask. Is she okay? I smile and say she looks beautiful and they BEAM. And I beam back at them. It's so sweet. I want to cry and then turn back and have my first all over again.


Lindsey's picture
Lindsey
You had me crying at #1
5/21/2008 at 11:26 am
now I have to go reapply my makeup. I didn't realize I missed anything about babyhood till I read that....


Dad Caolo's picture
Dad Caolo
David, A great post. Mom
5/21/2008 at 5:33 pm
David, A great post. Mom and I were reminded how much "we missed it" when Grace and William were born and we were with you and Mia. Dad


christiansheart's picture
christiansheart
Right Into the Mouth!
5/31/2008 at 5:41 pm
I'm a new mom and i need help desperately! My son is 13 months old and everything he can find goes right into his mouth. I've bought toys that are safe to put in his mouth but he ignores it and goes for the comforter, the keys, he even puts his mouth to the floor and licks it. I've tried so many things but he won't stop. Can you help me!I'm scared because no matter how clean i am, there's still germs i have to worry about.


Jill's picture
Jill
To Christiansheart
5/31/2008 at 10:49 pm
Relax!! Your kid is normal. Stop worrying about it. Children are actually supposed to interact with a lot of germs, it is how they build up their immune systems. Society's obsession with disinfecting everything is actually causing children to become more sick as they don't get a chance to build up their immune systems and then they have no defences if and when they do encounter serious germs.


Stephanie F Richardson's picture
Stephanie F Richardson
Rewarding school achievements
6/11/2008 at 10:57 pm
Recently while waiting in the doctor's office I thumbed through a parenting magazine since there was next to nothing to read in the waiting room. I normally do not read these magazines as my youngest daughter is 25. However, the question of how parents rewarded their children's school achievements which the magazine posed to its readers caught my attention. To me, the answer was so simple I meant to take note of the magazine's contact information but got distracted and didn't. This evening, I was writing a quick note to my 27 yr old daughter to let her know I had listened to her advice on something and was reminded of the question from the magazine. The best way I can think to phrase my answer is with the philosophy that just came naturally to me and is apparently with me today which I included in the note to my daughter: "I will never become too wise, too worldly, or too learned to be taught something by my child." Don't wait til report cards or a good grade on a test to give your kids some encouragement; I believe that only teaches them that people who get an A on their report card really count. It's the same as teaching them that only thin, beautiful people with money matter to anyone. Allow yourself to be taught, to be surprised and delighted when your child tells you something they learned that day, especially when it is something you really didn't know or had forgotten. Making too much of a good grade and skipping the day to day small things is an unhealthy approach in the long run.


Stephanie F Richardson's picture
Stephanie F Richardson
oops, so sorry...
6/11/2008 at 11:00 pm
I did not realize that the comment I just posted was in an area reserved for comments on an existing story. Now I feel like a complete idiot! Obviously, I haven't yet learned enough from my kids lol. Anyway, sorry for the mix up.


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