The Parenting Post Blog

APG

By halfmama on Thursday, July 12, 6:00 am EDT

There is a girl, APG, whom we see often at our neighborhood playground. She's 4 years old and she's popular like Paris Hilton (i.e. for no discernible reason). As soon as she enters the playground, the other kids call her name: "[APG]! [APG]!" APG ignores them and runs straight to the dangling swings, flops her little body over the black rubber hammock, and sways away while munching on her baggie of snacks.

She is — unofficially — Alpha Playground Girl. (When I say unofficially, I mean only in my head.)

As soon as Bean and Buddy see her, they run over and wave their hands in her little face, trying to steal her attention from one another and everyone else.

Buddy

"Hi [APG]! Do you want to chase me?"
"Hi [APG]! Look, I have bubbles!"

Why are all the kids so drawn to her? I'm not exactly sure.

She's a sweet kid. When B and B first met APG, there were no other kids at the playground to influence their opinion; no other kids maniacally trying to grab her attention. But we came home that day and they talked about her for the rest of the afternoon. As if they were all best friends and they knew each other back in the day and could they have their cell phones now so they could text message her all night?

It's a weird phenomenon, the AK (Alpha Kid). Everyone knew an AK during childhood, right? Perhaps you were the AK. I've watched girls shyly introduce themselves to APG and ask her if she wants to play. I've seen other kids follow her around as if she were a messiah in size ten Mary Janes. I often wonder what makes APG, APG. She doesn't actively rally troops, nor is she bossy. She's not boisterous or loud or an attention-seeker. I watch her run around with her friends (fans?) chasing after her. She plays with everyone, but it's clear she's also fine doing her own thing. Is her laissez-faire, confident attitude what lures her little followers in? Do her kid pheromones emit traces of candy and peanut butter?

I told my SIL about APG a few weeks ago. My SIL immediately asked if APG is cute. Yes, adorable...very pretty, in fact. Intuitive-SIL then asked if APG has nice clothes. Yes to that too: APG has a sweet, vintage-y, deliberately original wardrobe. If she was 50 sizes larger I would want to borrow her clothes.

Bean and Buddy

Could it be...? Are my kids (and these other kids) that shallow? I've certainly never pointed out APG's cuteness or clothes to them. Are they that attuned to beauty and style? The thought had entered my mind, but honestly, I couldn't believe Bean and Buddy would recognize details such as clothing or facial symmetry. Because well...my kids? When I let them dress themselves they pair black socks with sandals and want to wear purple snow jackets with red bathing suits. (Don't even get me started on accessories.) Also, they think bugs and small turds are cute.

Yes, I realize it's probably true but I'm still holding on to hope that it's not the case. Because that would mean my kids are 3 going on high school. On the other hand, they are only 3. I mean, they're not exactly deep. I know what they would do if I shook my finger and lectured that old adage — "beauty is only skin deep" — they would stare at me blankly for a few seconds, then ask for some milk.

So for now, I'll just continue to point out what I deem to be good qualities in others. I'll try and teach them the importance of following their hearts and not following the herd. And fortunately for us, APG is friendly, fun, and easygoing. As long as she isn't using her influence to lead my kids towards bad behavior, I don't care if she looks like Shirley Temple or Shrek: She and I will get along just fine.

Who are the AKs in your neighborhood? And do they have facial symmetry and a closet you want to raid?

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Member Comments
 Ei's picture
Ei
re: APG
7/12/2007 at 10:48 am
AK in my eldest's class is a bright eyed, blonde boy who is clever, polite and funny, and like APG, plays well with others and also by himself. I think it is as much confidence as prettiness, honestly.


re: APG
7/12/2007 at 11:20 am
Yeah, it's always the prettiest kid, boy or girl. They often seem to be from families w/more money too. It must be surivival instincts that causes other kids to flock to these AK's. And by the way, the bugs and small turds line made me laugh!


 Charlye's picture
Charlye
re: APG
7/12/2007 at 11:40 am
I'm no fashion queen myself, but our sitter dresses the kids up nice and cute, and does their hair as perfect as can be. When she takes the kids out, my daughter gets tons of positive comments from grown-ups, and it's hard to believe young ones don't notice. She is APG. And yes, we are all shallow.


re: APG
7/12/2007 at 12:50 pm
I don't know if it's shallowness, or simply being attracted to someone who dresses creatively and has their own unique sense of style (even if it is parent-induced). Often we're attracted to things that are different from ourselves. Think of APG as a little work of art. (But I'm sure confidence is a big help, too.)


re: APG
7/12/2007 at 5:31 pm
um... is wearing undies over your head the latest trend with 3-year olds? Good thing we bought many spare ones to go with potty-training - but none too vintage-y...


 Carol | bokumbop's picture
Carol | bokumbop
re: APG
7/12/2007 at 6:19 pm
Love the headwear. I don't know yet if I have an APG (APB in my case). I don't know if I want one ... I love T as he is. I definitely was not an alpha anything. At the playground he's more or less middle ground, sometimes slightly better dressed, but nothing extraordinary? At school though he is a favorite of the older children. I think it's his hair. Would be interesting to ask B&B, why they like APG so much?


re: APG
7/13/2007 at 1:44 am
My best friend growing up was the AK of our class. She was a cutie, but she was poor and never had nice clothes. My parents could afford new clothes for me, but I was shy and never had lots of friends. My friend wore her hand-me-downs and two-years-out-of-date styles as if they were the most fashionable things around. People adored her, and it was her confidence and vivaciousness that made them want to be around her.


re: APG
7/13/2007 at 9:36 pm
Ha! Those pictures are classic. I'm not sure why certain kids become APKs, but I've noticed it too. I think it's a combination of temperament/ looks/ clothes. And it starts so young!


re: APG
7/15/2007 at 1:11 pm
As long as the APG isn't malicious or abusing her position, finding the leader in the group is natural. It may be her physical appearance, but just outer beauty isn't going to make kids flock to someone who's horrible. It's the inner beauty that keeps the friends following you.


 cooky's picture
cooky
re: APG
7/17/2007 at 1:17 am
***VERY IMPORTANT INFO***PLEASE READ AND PASS ON... ZURICH (GERBER IN THE USA) HAS RECALLED ABOUT 1/2 MILLION PACKS OF ORGANIC RICE AND OATMEAL CEREAL FOR BABIES DUE TO A CHOKING RISK!!! They say that the cereal may not dissolve properly in milk or water. The products were sold in the US, Puerto Rico and the Carribean says the company. Everyone check your baby cereal! THIS IS HORRIBLE.


re: APG
7/17/2007 at 9:52 am
My little one (2.5 yo) is crazy popular at preschool. All the other moms tell me that their kids talk about Lorelei all the time. Her clothes are usually stained and her hair is wild no matter what I do to it. She's bossy even though she's one of the youngest kids in her class. And yet everyone loves her. It's weird to me since I'm such an introvert that I have such a popular child.


 Karlen's picture
Karlen
re: APG
7/18/2007 at 6:54 pm
When my daughter was one (ONE!!!) there was an AK in her room at day care. ALL the girls followed her around, tried to get close to her, wouldn't stop talking about her, clammored for her attention, etc. I was SHOCKED to see the behaviour in such young children. It wasn't clothes but I never did clue in to her appeal.


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