The Parenting Post Blog

And What Will She Be Like when She's FIFTEEN?

By Mighty Maggie on Thursday, July 9, 4:52 pm EDT

It's taken me over ten months, but I've finally admitted to myself that my daughter has an attitude problem. I'm this close to calling it a Temper. A disposition so persnickety and demanding can hardly amount to anything else, yet I've been glossing over the obvious since her birth.


Go ahead. Try to make me happy.

"She just knows what she wants," I'd say to my husband, whisking Molly away from his frustrated attempts to stuff a bottle into her mouth.

"She's just very attached," I'd say to my mother, snatching a howling beast-baby out of her arms.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" I'd shout at my first-born, who was only trying to play catch with his new sister.

Phillip and I, having been dealt the easiest-going baby on the planet the first time around, were simply unaware of the signs. We kept waiting for Molly to start enjoying the perfect little world we were trying so hard to give her, but the girl wouldn't sit long enough in the stroller to even look. Her body would contort, her face would screw up, and suddenly we were marching home at top speeds, trying not to make eye contact with all the other parents who were SURELY JUDGING US. We told ourselves that Molly just needed time and that things would get easier.

But I have to say, we certainly weren't expecting her attitude to get WORSE, which is EXACTLY what happened.

Feeding Molly, a task that has never been easy on anyone, is now an exercise in bashing one's head against the wall. She APPEARS to be hungry, but won't let you put anything NEAR her mouth let alone IN. For a while it seemed like she was favoring the homemade stuff over the jarred (the opposite had been true for months) so I whipped up a bunch of frozen cubes. The next day, of course, she wanted nothing to do with food at all. She kicks in her chair. She shakes her head "no" and throws her cup on the floor. She rocks back and forth so violently the whole chair scoots across the kitchen. If I really make her mad, you know, by trying to FEED HER, she'll slam her hands down on the high chair tray so hard, even Jack pauses to gape in awe.

Right now she's gnawing on a banana, the only food she'll accept tonight, and glaring at me. Of course.

I feel like I need to have friends and relatives sign a release form when they change her diaper because those meaty legs throw out some powerful, angry kicks. It's been so hot we've been playing in the kiddie pool every afternoon, but Molly acts like we're trying to dip her in a bowl of bubbling spaghetti sauce. She's still not very good about letting other people hold her, even her grandparents sometimes, and beware the toddler who steals her toy. That banshee shrieking you hear? Is my daughter venting her frustration with The Unfairness that is having an older brother.

But while the temper has intensified each month, so has, I'm relieved to say, the happy. The full belly giggles, the excited screams, the frantic happy claps, and the big shiny face of glee. I definitely know what ticks her off, but I'm also learning what she loves. When Jackson was her age, nothing ever threw him off his center. We congratulated ourselves on our always-cheerful baby, but I don't think we got a taste of full-on shimmering baby joy until Molly rolled in. And the way she looks at me when she's happy, like I am The Best Mommy Forever and Ever Amen. How do I put THAT in the baby book?


Kiss kiss kiss!

I'm sopping up all my Molly love I can get. If her temper at 10 months is anything to go by, the teenage years are going to kill me.


Member Comments
Jenny's picture
Jenny
Are you talking about my kids?
7/10/2009 at 10:43 am
Reading this post was like reading a page out of my own life! My first born (son) was the happiest, most passive kid in the universe. Nothing bothered him. He was down with whatever. Restaurant? No problem, I will just sit here in my high chair and naw a cracker for as long as you want to sit over there and talk. Let my Auntie whom I never see whisk me out of Mommy's arms and play with me? Piece of cake! I of course, like you, congratulated my self. I rock at this whole child rearing thing. Then my daughter came and OMG! I have given up eating at a restaurant completely because she will NOT sit in that high chair, how dare you even ask! And conversation not directed at her? Not happening. And please, sweet sweet old lady at the grocery store, I know her curly hair is adorable but for your own safety please DO NOT TOUCH the girl or all you-know-what is going to break loose! And to reiterate what you said, when she is happy or when she loves on you she does it with just as much excitement and force as when she is being "Katie Kaboom" (not anywhere close to her name just a nickname she got at about 2 weeks old when we realized that this girl had the capability to blow up the entire house when she was not pleased!) Great writing as always Maggie!


Anon's picture
Anon
I agree with Jenny, this was
7/10/2009 at 6:53 pm
I agree with Jenny, this was a pleasure to read. I kind of like that she's so sassy; no one ever says their kid has temper and it's a new angle on the mommy blogging. Cute kid even in the less than impressed pics (mind you the pic can't convey noise) I have to say. The bottom pic is too cute...


When She's 14....
7/13/2009 at 12:54 pm
Ditto Jenny's comment. My fiesty one is now 14. I remember when she was born she screamed bloody murder. The doctor was so thrilled because there were complications and she was so early. She was born on July 4th BTW, and as she was being born, the fireworks were exploding in the sky. Sign of things to come. In ICU, she would scream and rock the small crib where she was and try to rip her tubes out of her arms. She was a few days old. The nurses told me that I would have my hands full, and they were right. She is blind, but she insists on riding a bike, surfing, and playing tag in the front yard with the neighbor kids. She's broken bones and had numerous black and blue marks. I think she's given me most of my gray hairs. And yet, I admire her spunky spirit because I know that whatever life hands her, she will not give up or quit. Kids...amazing!


Too Sweet
7/13/2009 at 1:57 pm
As a mom I love reading this post -- cute pics BTW. As a parenting expert having researched & presented on Temperaments (hardwired to respond a certain way), I think you're describing a child who is passionate and persistent. Y'know the drama queen; I have one. And she'll probably be the star in the school play when she's 14. There's a free article about understanding temperaments on my site (look on the Writer page) - enjoy!


Black Sheep
7/13/2009 at 2:19 pm
I can relate. I, too, had an easy baby first and the hellion second. From birth, it was clear to all that he was High Maintenance with a capital H.M. I did catch myself at one point, though, and remind myself that while I was labeling him the black sheep of the family and ordering "Bad to the Bone" onesies, he was only 2 mos. old!! Plenty of time for him to grow out of it, right? Right??


Are you me?
7/14/2009 at 1:01 am
OMG, this is very similar to my situation now. I have a one year old daughter who is quite a handful. She screams bloody murder when I don't give her her favorite toy. And her screams are eardrums-shattering, LOL. But I wouldn't want to exchange this experience for the world because when she smiles or laughs, my heart just melts.


Anonymous's picture
Anonymous
Exactly the Same!
7/14/2009 at 9:15 am
My daughter is now 18 months but what you are talking about is exactly what I went through. She still has an attitude problem, but the feeding has improved. At about 10 months old, the only way I could get her to eat was to allow her to feed herself. Of course I had to make everything as teeny tiny as possible, but it worked. She would pound on the tray and throw a fit if a spoon came anywhere near her. But if I let her do her own thing, she ate quietly and we actually got some dinner-time peace!


I hope Tori stays all smiles
7/21/2009 at 12:24 pm
Your daughter just has passion for life, sign her up for acting lessons now. My daughter Tori is three-and-a-half months old and she almost always has a smile on her face - unless it's time to eat, then the drama queen materializes. When she sees the bottle arriving , she opens her mouth up like a fish and points to her mouth as if she is saying, "Food goes here Mom." Then she is back to being all smiles. But if we’re out in public and she’s hungry she has an embarrassing meltdown. Air-gulping screams with flailing arms and legs. Once this happened mid-shopping trip in Sam's Club and I was heading for the door so I could go outside and feed the beast when this nosy lady walks up and stops me and states very proudly, "I think I know why your baby is crying. She sounds hungry." I just wanted to snarl at this person, "Really, wow I didn't know that, thanks for the unsolicited advice baby whisperer!" She also cries when her diaper needs changing, but I don't know how many other babies are like Tori, that smile when their diaper is being changed. It's actually fun to change her because it's hard not to smile in return when I am wiping off some vile, toxic goo and she flashes a gummy smile as if she is saying "Thanks Mom, that's what I needed." When she's not smiling she has this serious baby look to her that I attribute to my husband. Her eyebrows scrunch up like his when she sees something that interests her and that could be anything and everything. Her current favorite thing to look at is tree leaves when she is being pushed in her stroller on our daily walk. I have heard horror stories about colic, but I couldn't have been more blessed with such a happy baby girl. Hopefully she says this way all of the time, but somehow I doubt it since I am not always a ray of sunshine.


Anonymous's picture
Anonymous
VERY difficult 2 year old son
7/25/2009 at 2:48 am
ok so i have four great kids and i love them dearly.....but when it comes to my last child the 2 year old son i have to take a deep breath every morning before i crawl out of bed and say "here we go again!!" he hates getting into the car seat, doesnt want to go any where, throws things and screams at random people in stores. if he gets angry and things dont go his way he attacks me or the other kids who are around (oh and size and age of kid doesnt matter). he screams constantly, throw tantrums constantly!!!!!! i need HELP!!!!!! i dont know what to do. i have put him in time out, i have sent him to his room, i have spanked him and i have to say that NOTHING works!!!!!


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