The Parenting Post Blog

Abuelito Is on the Way. ¡Que Rico!

By Bilingual in the Boonies on Wednesday, July 30, 1:27 pm EDT

Two of my cousins, my brother, and I spent many summer days in the care of our grandmother, an ornery Cuban woman who mopped daily and wore her housecoat low-cut on purpose. Her name was Evelina, but everyone called her "Mama." We knew to put our feet up when the mop slid our way and to sit quietly during The Price is Right. We also knew that not a word was to be uttered in English. If so, we got kicked outside. We were raised in Miami, so outside in July and August was not where we wanted to be.

My grandmother, with the stomp of her slipper, reminded us that we could speak English at school and outside, but in her house, it was Espaňol.

My parents are not as demanding about their granddaughter's bilingualism. They would never dream of kicking this child-who-hung-their-moon outside. Their approach has been to encourage Maria's use of the familial language by teaching her traditional songs, ranging from the hysterical to the poetic. Her Spanish always improves when they are around, though I, in the tradition of my grandmother, usually stomp a foot to remind them that Spanish, not English, is to be spoken when they are here – or when we are in Miami.

As I write this, my father is loading his truck with Cuban coffee, guava pastries, tropical produce, and countless blank DVDs. He will be spending a few weeks with us in Tennessee, so I know that the lag in Maria's Spanish this summer – which is my lazy fault – is about to be made up. It is hard to be her prime teacher in a language I speak, but do not always think in. My father, on the other hand, is a limitless font.

He teaches her Spanish songs that my mother says are generations old and traditional rhymes and Spanish prayers. She remembers them all and will recite them out of nowhere, weeks and months after she learned them.

Of course, Maria also picks up his accent.

Last year, she told me she saw his "pee cup.'' His what? To our relief, she meant "pick-up,'' which sounds like "pee cup'' when he says it.

Growing up I never thought passing on Spanish would be work. I imagined, if I thought about it at all, that it would happen organically, the same way I learned it or in the same way other families pass down Nonna's marinara recipe or shared Seder rituals. It just happens.

But, I live far from the mother country (that would be Miami) and my familia. So we have to plan it, work it, promote it. Maria attends a Spanish immersion pre-school, we buy bilingual books, download bilingual and Spanish songs, and I repeat myself in Spanish moments after I have said something in English. It is work in a way I never dreamt. It is so much habla habla I want to tell myself to shut up sometimes. It has paid off, though, because my chiquitica understands most of what I say to her in Spanish. It's a delicious victory.

I know that sometimes she doesn't get my father on the first go – he who is part hummingbird, part puppy, part Rain Man.

But, it doesn't matter. Laughing needs no translation.

As for that Cuban grandmother of mine, she fooled us for many years pretending she didn't understand English. When I was about 14 and snotty, I was on the telephone. My grandmother wanted me to hang up. I told my friend: "This old woman is driving me crazy.'' My grandmother immediately said: "Oye! Me no drive you crazy!'' Snagged.

Sometimes, when my husband rolls his eyes at me, I wag my finger and borrow the line.

Mama would be so proud.

 

My Dad

_____

Visit Bilingual in the Boonies and Los Pollitos Dicen.


Member Comments
loved it!
7/30/2008 at 2:08 pm
I loved what you wrote :)


I hope you have a wonderful
7/30/2008 at 4:05 pm
I hope you have a wonderful visit! Love his shirt! :)


We called our grandmother
7/30/2008 at 6:03 pm
We called our grandmother "mama", too. She was quite ornery as well, and she liked to prewash our hair whenever she gave us a bath with Zest body soap. I guess I must be even lazier than you because I haven't had much success teaching my kids Spanish for many of the same reasons you stated. Too far from the homeland (Texas) too, and people don't always seem to understand how difficult it is to teach a language you don't think in. Spanish comes so naturally to me when I am around people and objects that trigger that part of my brain.


Tia Mirtha's picture
Tia Mirtha
Abuelito is on the Way
7/30/2008 at 9:15 pm
I know Mama would have been so proud of you for teaching Maria to speak Spanish.


Celebrity Picture
7/31/2008 at 9:34 am
hmm. So cute. Very nice article.


Nidia Gralewski's picture
Nidia Gralewski
Hi Carrie, I know about you
7/31/2008 at 1:04 pm
Hi Carrie, I know about you and Maria from your aunt Mirtha. She and I graduated from Ada Merritt Jr. High in 1961. We re-connected in October 2002 and now we are over 50 and have had several reunions. I'm married to an American and have two sons who speak, read and write Spanish. We speak English at our house but always kept my Cuban traditions and made sure that my sons were proud of my heritage. They have always been proud to say that they are half Cuban and half American. Unfortunately I never had the patience of teaching Spanish to them but they took Spanish classes in junior high and high school and practiced speaking it with my parents and extended family. Congratulations to you and Maria for keeping the language alive in your household and I'm sure your father greatly appreciates that he's able to communicate with his granddaughter in his native language. By the way I love his slippers! Un abrazo, Nidia


Ilsia's picture
Ilsia
El orgulloso abuelo
7/31/2008 at 10:07 pm
Carrie, with this long visit of the Abuelo I am sure Maria will learn Spanish .I know she will enjoy his company very much. No sabes como me he reido cuando vi al Abuelo con esa vestimenta. Besitos a Maria Love Tia Ilsia


kathy's picture
kathy
Your grandma sounds very
8/2/2008 at 2:19 am
Your grandma sounds very beautiful, strong, and very intelligent. To want to pass on her knowledge and culture. I wish more grandmas and grandpas where like that.


In my case is the opposite,
8/2/2008 at 9:44 am
In my case is the opposite, we are a Mexican family but my husband is English, we live in México so we are always speaking Spanish everywhere, except at home we speak English, but my husband hasn't learned Spanish well yet and the kids are partially bilingual, they speak fluent Spanish and can understand English, we just have to work on vocabulary. But is funny to see my mom's face when they kids try to speak English with her XD


Kate from the Atlanta Burbs's picture
Kate from the Atlanta Burbs
I teach high school, so I
8/2/2008 at 4:51 pm
I teach high school, so I loved this post. Thank goodness there will be at least one kid in this country that is bilingual...


Nancy's picture
Nancy
Your papi
8/2/2008 at 5:57 pm
Your papi looks like a fun guy. How great for Maria to have such vibrant grandparents. Fiesta!


Carrie's picture
Carrie
Thank you...
8/4/2008 at 7:46 am
How hilarious is it that my family is now posting here...Thank you all for the encouragement and stories...and for enjoying my family.


Les's picture
Les
Continue with the hard work, it will pay off !
10/2/2008 at 12:12 am
As a Latin American with a North American husband, I also know the importance of teaching the kids both lenguages, I consider that also part of them, I have a 4 and a 2 1/2 year old girls and both speak fully english and spanish, I speak spanish at home every since they were in my belly and actually never realized how much spanish my girls new till we visited my country and they got to talk to our family.....it was amazing, they were able to perfectly comunicate with everybody from day 1 and most important, they felt at home. I encourage you and everybody with the same background to keep teaching our kids not only to speak it but also read it and write it, our lenguage is beatifull and is part of them as it is of us!


right beside you....'s picture
right beside you....
Previous GA Cubans - now TN Cubans
10/30/2008 at 10:31 am
We are just all over the place... Arrived in Miami at the age of 2 in 1967 and was transplanted after a short 6 weeks to the rapidly growing city of Atlanta. Mom, dad, "mamaEve, short for "my" Evelina grandmother, and my brother...soon followed by my dad's sister, husband, cousins and paternal grandmother...what a crowd. We all joined forces and shared a house until our parents could afford to venture out on their own. By the age of 7, my parents had met a Cuban developer, and my dad and his sister built houses next door to each other. On the other side of us, another "Cuban" home with it's own grandmother, and across the street another and up the street, yet a few more...WOW...who would have thought? A small Cuban community in Decatur, each house with their own Cuban grandmother, was growing and doing quite well just outside of Atlanta. Growing up, our "grandmother's" made sure we didn't speak English after school; we all had a watchful eye no matter where we were. We were always at one of the muchachita's houses after school, having our after school merienda, playing the piano, playing school, playing house or riding our bike at the end of the street. It was quite an experience!! One I would not trade for anything...a few Cuban-American kids, growing up Cuban in Decatur, GA. Our Cuban community worked hard to pass on their traditions to the next generation. Entering our teens, every couple of months, a Cuban family hosted a party, playing Latin music and an offering a Cuban “mother” dance instructor. Away we went...free meringue, chachacha, and salsa lessons for all. November came and we all dressed up in “comparsa” wear and to the hotel ballroom 150+ Cuban families went to proudly display their Cuban-American offspring and their newfound dance talents...what a sight that was...and, oh, what memories...now I think...what did all those Americans watching think as we all got out of our cars dressed in Comparsa dresses in Novemeber...Halloween was October 31st? That never crossed my mind until now? Now, like you, we try to continue the tradition of teaching Spanish to our kids in rural America...it is so challenging. This year, I found myself frustrated that our county does not offer a language program in the elementary schools. In August, I worked out an agreement with my son’s second grade teacher and I now volunteer and teach Spanish in his classroom every week. My Nikolas now thinks Spanish is SO cool and anxiously awaits every class. He is so proud...


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