At one end of the potty training enthusiasm scale we have the elimination communication folks holding their pantsless babies over their heads in triumph, and at the other end we have your trusty blogger, cowering behind a small fort of diapers and timidly shouting, "I don't WANT to go potty!"

So, yeah, maybe I'm a little anxious.

I’ve successfully potty-trained two little people now and I fancy myself somewhat of an expert on all things body fluids. I’ve been thinking about the secret to my success and whether the world was ready for me to share it, whether I was ready to share the most important parenting information I’ve learned to date.

I’ve seen all kinds of checklists of how you can tell if your child is read to be potty trained. Does he stay dry for long periods of time? Does he show interest in using the toilet? Has he become intolerant towards wet or messy diapers? Does he behave strangely when he’s about to unleash the fury of his adult-smelling bowels?

My youngest child recently potty trained. By my calculations over the past 13 years I have changed 38,325 diapers, give or take a few. No wonder I am tired.

Seeing my youngest wearing his tiny little boxer briefs I am overcome with the desire to pinch his little buns. He mostly tolerates it. Though I think it is wearing on him. He feels like a big kid now. Even asking me to leave the bathroom after hoisting him up onto his potty seat, because he needs privacy.

Pop quiz - What's the one aspect of parenting that paralyzes me with fear?

Sleep deprivation? No.

Breast milk vs. formula? Nope.

Back to work or stay at home? Wrong again.

Gathering everything that I considered "fun" from my bachelor days, stuffing it into cardboard box, topping the lot with oil-soaked rags and setting fire to it deep in the woods (figuratively, of course)? No, but that's a good one.

It's potty training.