I don't feel pregnant. I don't think it's gonna happen this month. I don't really know why, but I'm just not expecting it to happen. Maybe I'm thinking the third try is meant be the charm as opposed to the second try. Or maybe I'm thinking that it just isn't meant to be that easy for me. Things aren't usually easy breezy for me, so why should getting pregnant be any different? Or maybe I weirdly think that I'll deserve to get pregnant more after I've tried for a little while longer — after I've earned it more. Weird, right? Lord knows plenty of fertility-challenged people "deserve" to get pregnant and don't, so I realize my logic is flawed. But perhaps it's because of those people that I feel like I should suffer a little more — pay my dues — before I receive this miraculous gift.

It's not that I'm a martyr. In fact, if it takes me too long, I'm pretty sure I'll start to get panicky. But, the second try just seems too easy. I'm hoping the third try will be the winner. Three is my lucky number.

Crying children scare me. They almost ruin it for us aspiring moms — even for me, the sappiest of them all.

My husband and I were doing errands over the weekend, and we stopped to grab some lunch in a cute restaurant that had a chocolate theme. There we were, minding our own business, having a pleasant meal, chatting about work, and then, out of nowhere came the cry. We ignored it — it was no big deal. Happens all the time. Someone will make it stop soon. But it didn't. It kept going. We kept talking, eating, pretending not to hear. Then the crying got even louder. It wouldn't let up.

"Someone is torturing that child," my husband said.

"It seriously sounds that way. We're in a chocolate restaurant — what more could he want?" I asked, actually feeling sort of glad that we didn't have a baby right then.

We are gearing up for our second go. Well, when I say, "we" I mean me. My period is done. I just bought my second ovulation kit, and I've been mapping out the days in the calendar this month that we need to make sure we spend some quality time in the bedroom.

Unfortunately, I read a less-than-encouraging article in the New York Times the other day about sperm. It basically stated that sperm are extremely imperfect, the majority of them are abnormally shaped, and only about 15 percent of most men's sperm are "serviceable" in ideal conditions. As the writer, Natalie Angier, put it, "the majority of sperm couldn't fertilize an ovum if it were plunked down in front of them." She went on to explain how fragile and tiny sperm are, how sensitive they are to heat, and how tough it is for them to get through the many obstacles they encounter on the way to our eggs.

FYI: I don't assume I'll be able to get pregnant. In fact, I'm really nervous that I'll have trouble conceiving or keeping a pregnancy. It's not that I have a family history of infertility (although I do have friends and extended family who've had fertility problems, and it's been incredibly trying, to say the very least). It's just that I can't escape all the talk of infertility around me and it's clouding my ability to think rationally.

Infertility is the buzz word of women in their 30s and 40s. (I have to admit that I've even written articles on boosting fertility.) And it feels like every time I watch anything on TV about women and kids (The Today Show particularly!), or read anything about women and family in magazines, or even talk with women, I hear about how getting pregnant is so hard or how miscarriages are so common.

After getting the wrong vaccination, I freaked out a little. I didn't make a fuss with my doctor, though. When I freak out it often means that I can't help but talk to everyone and anyone about my problem to see if they might have the solution. I admit I can be kind of annoying.

So naturally, I spent weeks talking to every expert I know (as well as my co-workers, my parents, my husband, and anyone else who could possibly advise me). Do I risk the severe reaction to another tetanus shot? Or do I just figure that the chances of getting whooping cough are really low, and that it's unlikely I'd get it while pregnant (which would seriously stink... although it wouldn't harm the fetus)? I COULD just get the shot right after delivery, which could happen anywhere from a year to two years out, assuming I get pregnant within a year of trying (fingers crossed). Would that be a better bet?