When Your Baby Name Gets Taken

For the longest time, I had my heart set on Rachel. Maybe Rachel Sarah. My boyfriend and later husband also liked these names if ever we had a daughter. My best friend at the time, got married before me and although I had a son first, when she got pregnant, it was a shock to me that she named her daughter Rachel Sarah in that exact order. A year later I was pregnant and felt the name was "taken". Finally after evenings with baby name books and still no closer to a name, I came across a family tree going back to the late 1700's on my mother's side. And among all those dependents I found Charlotte. Now I wouldn't have any other name and over the years Rachel and Sarah become very common, so maybe it was fate!

When my daughter was born, the only name my husband and I could agree on was Laurel Elizabeth. A year after my daughter was born, I reconnected with an old friend who incidentally named her daughter named Lauren Elizabeth. We thought it was not only funny that the names were similar, the two girls looked alike - both of our daughters were tall and thin with blond hair and blue eyes. We lost touch shortly thereafter and a few years later, saw one another at the store. In that time, she had a second child, a son named Conrad. When my husband and I found out we were having a son as well, we did not choose Conrad, but found a name that is fairly close - Cooper.

I have a giant family, and several of my cousins had kids before I did. One of them stole my beloved name "Lily" and another took my father and brother's name "Robert". I know that I could still use those names, but it would make me feel really weird. I'd fear that I looked like a copycat or someone who can't think for themselves. And, growing up with the same name of an aunt, I can tell you there's mild identity crisis and awkward situations awaiting you. Re-using a name: not a good idea IMHO.

My husband and I both share the same names as our parents. I'm one of 12 "cousins" on my dad's side of the family, and in those 12 we have two Jill's and two Jennifer's. We elected to go with something different (and nowhere near the top baby names) with our son - his name is Ronan - but there are very few boys in our family anyway. A name is just a name - millions of people share them every day! In fact, if you're picking a more popular name there's even a good chance that another baby in the same hospital has that name! It may sting a little at first, but just think of it as they were so enamored with what you came up with, that it became irresistable. And think how much easier it will be to round them up at playdates!

I think that knowingly choosing the same name as a close friend or relative has given to their child (or, even, THEIR name, not just the name they gave their kid) is asking for a level of confusion that can be just as easily avoided. This is not to say you *can't* give your kid the same name, but it's something close to my heart. My real name is Kelly. This is *extremely* common. In my 2nd grade class there was even another little girl with the same last initial, so we were known by our first name and the first 3 letters of our last names. I have found it frustrating my entire life. I still turn around when someone calls my name in the store. And if someone stands up when the doctor calls "Kelly?" I just assume that we have the same name and that they mean them, not me. So for my children, I chose names that ended up being moderately common, but that no one I knew at the time had (nor any of their children!) and then I went a step further and spelled them very alternatively so that at least they wouldn't have the problem in school of always getting back the wrong paper! *sigh* :)

I am in love with classic names, so for as long as I could remember, I wanted to name my daughter either Emmaline or Emily Rose. My sister had two daughters before I was even married, and the second she named Emma-Lea. I was bummed because I had my heart set on my name, and since my sister and I are close, our children will always be around each other. In my opinion, names give children a sense of being unique, a special identity that sets them apart from being just another kid on the block. When I was pregnant, we didn't know if it was a boy or girl until birth, so I fell in love with some great names during my search for alternates. I guess my style needed a little updating. And guess what? I had a boy! Which reminds me, I accidently took my friends desired name. He told me a long time ago that he wanted to name his first born son Damian. I forgot. My husband liked that name when I read it from a baby name book, and after months of talking, I agreed that if we had a boy, we'd name him Damian, because I didn't know anybody with that name. When I ran into my friend (whom I wanted to name my son after), I felt really bad that I took his intended name. He isn't in a relationship right now and doesn't have any kids, but I hope that when he has a son, he does use his desired name. For now, he doesn't mind being 'uncle' to Damian. My son has several options for what he could be called so he never has to feel common. I put a lot of care into making sure my son has a name that he can be proud of and that's just as special as he is.

My sisters took TWO of my baby boy names it really ticked me off.. LOL. the two names I had were Carson (special meaning to my husband) Allthough the meaning of the name isn't very cool http://www.babyhold.com/list/American_Baby_Names/Carson/details/ the other one was Edward which I LOVE the meaning of that name http://www.babyhold.com/list/American_Baby_Names/Edward/details/ Any ideas for other names?

A friend of mine just had a baby girl and her first name is the one I had already selected for my own girl child once we are blessed with a pregnancy. At first I was bummed & jealous (how dare she!! but she had no clue of my name choice nor did we ever talk of names). Then I realized, my friend lives states away & frankly, I have my own deep meaning behind it so I can still use it. No name (excluding spelling) is without several hundred or more people "owning" it so just use it if it "means" a lot to you. Never-mind what people think & if it makes you feel better just send out the announcement dating when you first came up with the name and the meaning behind it (once it's on the birth certificate)... tadah! I personally never share baby name ideas with anyone but the hubby. It's too easy for people to say "hey, i like that!". Then it's ur own fault if someone you know chooses it (if so, they still can't begrudge you sticking too it as intended! you claimed it first by way of talk). P.S. Just because your friends doesn't mean you children will be through life for the name thing to matter. Even if they do become close, it's no reason for frustration, they do have different last names & self.

I personally would not use a name that someone you know already has despite your attachment to it. I already feel like I have a list of names that I would not choose. There are a few people that you didnt like growing who's name you will never forget. Or if the name is shared by a close friend or family member it could create confusion or an awkward moment down the road.

I wouldn't have a problem using the same name - here's why: If you really love the name, you should give it to your kid anyways... Just because someone else uses it, if you want it for your child, then it should be fine. Naming a child is a very difficult thing to do - unless, of course, you have a family tradition that picks it for you - and the choice you make influences your child for the rest of their life. If you chose the name, there was a reason behind it and changing it just because someone else uses it or likes it would be trashing all of your hard work and your good sense. The name being used by someone else too doesn't mean it has been "taken" - unless you let someone else influence your decision... When naming my firstborn, I had a friend whose baby had the same name (different spelling) - this didn't change my mind at all... I don't have that friend now but my girl fits the name and I'm glad I gave it to her.