Tuesday, November 10, 3:34 pm EST

Remember that scene in Knocked Up where Katherine Heigl finds all the parenting books that Seth Rogen bought still in the Barnes & Noble bag? I think that's fairly typical. What to Expect When You're Expecting sat on my nightstand unopened for months, moonlighting as the world's most well-researched coaster. And most of the books targeted to new dads have an overtly syrupy tone, with book jackets featuring misty mornings on a lake or sepia-toned photos that wouldn't be out of place in the 'Thinking of You' section at Hallmark. Sure, it helps to know what a mucus plug is, but mostly guys need books that offers simple, streamlined, practical info that doesn't get bogged down with a lot of "medical diagrams" or "compound sentences."

 

Well have I got the book for you, Pops. Anyone out there looking for a fun, helpful read to give a new dad should check out Rules for my Unborn Son. It's written by Walker Lamond, a man whose penchant for Paul Stuart blazers, horn-rimmed glasses and vintage ties make me wonder if he was grown in the same Petri dish as Ira Glass. A TV producer and filmmaker by trade, Lamond started a blog by the name same - rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com - upon hearing that he and wife were having a baby. It grew into a collection of short quotes, tips, and advice items - none longer than a dozen words - that's now in paperback, serving as "the ultimate instruction manual for becoming a gentleman." Even with 212 pages filedl, nary one of these quips sounds tired or cliche. Here are just a few selections:

* Don't underestimate your fertility.

* Be beholden to no one. Pay cash.

*  Have a signature dish, even if it's your only one.

* Don't boast about projects in progress. Celebrate their completion.

* If you've made your point, stop talking.

Rules for My Unborn Son gets four and half beans from The Daily Bean. And remember: Keep a copy of your letters. It makes it easier on your biographer.

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Tuesday, October 27, 4:38 pm EDT

From the October issue of Parenting

"Software that programmed your toddler for potty training and eight hours of nighttime sleep." --Carlos Sermeno, Redondo Beach, CA

"A sound-proof barrier around the front seat of the car. It would block out arguing, yelling, and high-pitched screaming -- plus protect the driver from flying toys!" --Jessica Smiddy, Dallas

"The food replicator, which could instantly make any meal your family 'felt' like eating that night." --Kimberly Watson, Midlothian, VA

"A remote control to make everyone freeze, so I could eat without having to pick up my son's sippy cup and spoon a dozen times." -- Desiree Brougher, Hummelstown, PA

"A time machine. Then I could go back and replace the dead frog before my son discovered it, avoiding a two-hour crying fit." --Jaqlyn Bowers, Arlington, TX

"Doctor Octopus arms. Imagine how much we could get done!" --Mary Owens, Pasadena, MD  

What invention would make your life easier? 

Plus:

Top Ten Things You Just Can't Believe You Said

Top Ten Ways Motherhood Makes You a Celebrity



Thursday, July 2, 8:56 am EDT

A few weeks ago, I went to visit BabyBjorn in Stockholm, Sweden. Stockholm is a cool, fascinating city, an intriguing mix of history with a hip, modern vibe. When I was there, the sun set at around 11 pm and rose at 3 am, and the daily herring breakfast buffet was a first, but it was a treat to see Swedish culture firsthand.

I learned much about BabyBjorn that fell into the “Wow! Who knew?” category. Although they are synonymous with baby carriers, their first product in 1973 was a bouncy seat. Their first carriers were crafted to match parent’s clothing. So far, 22 million tots have been carted in “Bjorns.” The company is still run by the husband-and-wife founders, the funny and delightful Bjorn and Lillemor Jakobson.

They were the first to use dads in their ads, which caused a stir in 1983. France, of all countries, refused to run them. And speaking of dads…I learned a lot about them, too, at least as far as their role in Sweden. I interviewed four of them, on paternity leave -- yep, paternity leave! In Sweden, parents are entitled to 480 days of parental leave, distributed equally between the mom and dad, and it can be taken between the birth and the eighth birthday of each child. No, that zero after the eight isn’t a typo -- four hundred eighty work days! That is in addition to the 60 days they get to look after a sick kid -- that’s 60 days per child, per year!

I know, this all sounds incredible. And just as amazing, the men actually take paternity leaves. I asked Victor, a 30-ish teacher, if he had any hesitations about taking his leave. He answered, “No. It’s like drinking water when you’re thirsty.” He feels that the more time he spends with his child, the more respect he gains. Jon, a webmaster on hiatus, notes “It’s an opportunity you only get once; you’d be stupid not to take it.” Then added, “You realize it’s a lot of work, though, when you do it yourself.” Both said groups of dads hang out in parks as often as groups of moms. (These daddy groups, I couldn’t help but notice, sported Bjorns in greater numbers than one sees even in Manhattan). Both guys said they do grocery shopping and laundry during the day, in between their junkets to the park.

I also visited a daycare center, where I learned equally unbelievable truths: every baby is guaranteed a spot in a daycare center, for which the parent will pay, at the time I was there, roughly 120 US dollars a month for full time care, even less for older kids and siblings. The cleanliness, amenities, and staff ratio of the center I saw trump those of the center I paid over $1,000 a month for on Long Island.

I’ll close with this little tidbit: employers in Sweden by law can’t refuse a mom’s request to work part-time if they have a child younger than 12.

I don’t even know where to begin to comment on all of this, so I’ll turn it over to you, fellow moms of America.


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Monday, June 15, 3:41 pm EDT

We loved Michael Lewis's book, Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood so much that we featured an excerpt in Babytalk magazine. In it Lewis takes an unflinching look at fatherhood and highlights the unexpected feelings of unhappiness and boredom that some dads feel, not unlike the postpartum depression moms can experience. "Fatherhood can be demoralizing," he says. "I usually wind up the day curled in a little ball of fatigue, drowning in self-pity." He even goes as far to say that he remembers picturing himself hurling his baby off a balcony and admits that he would have only showed obligatory sadness if she were run over by a truck. There are plenty of sentimental bits too, but what really stands out is the brutally honest accounts of those days where parenthood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

This has some people up in arms on The Daily Mail, but what do you think? Is Lewis going too far, or is he just the first guy to admit what other fathers go through?

Plus:
Do You Have Postpartum Mood Disorder?
6 Things Your Husband Thinks (But Never Says)
Dads' Message Board Gossip


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Friday, June 12, 4:14 pm EDT

You know those adorable DIY glossy brag books you can order online? Well, imagine all your kid's treasured Art projects in one, professionally produced, coffee-table-style book.

Just clear all those paintings off your 'fridge, scan the art, save the files on your computer, upload the images at MyPublisher.com, customize your book, and that's it!

What a cute idea for Father's Day. (Or any day! What grandparent wouldn't love one of these?) And they have a short turnaround time for shipping – just 4 days – so it's a great solution for last minute shoppers!



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