My husband is Japanese-American. Both his parents grew up strong in the Japanese culture and while born in America, they both read and write and speak a fair amount of Japanese. My husband's father is extremely proud of his Japanese race and culture. Which is great. But my mixed-race sons (I am Anglo), who both are the spitting image of their handsome father, look nothing like me, and my side of the family-our Irish/German background-is basically dismissed. My father-in-law uses phrases like "You people" when talking to me about the differences between Japanese and others. I not only feel a minority in my extended family, but also with my husband and sons! It is as if the "whiteness" in my boys is not okay. Just today, my son told me my husband called him Japanese-American, twice, eliminating me from the equation altogether. My son has been teased for being "Chinese," etc., and when he tells me that, I tell him he is 1/2 Japanese and 1/2 Anglo and all-American and that he is a child of God. But it seems my son is getting different answers from his parents. I talked with my husband about it tonight, but I'm writing because I'd like some suggestions about how to approach my son (age 9-1/2) and our younger son (age 6), and be consistent with our answer, so that they are proud of both of their parental-and thus their own-heritages. Please help!