Before I was a mother, I thought I knew everything about parenting. How could I not, I was an avid reader. I read every parenting magazine and all the parenting self-help books available. I felt like if I educated myself enough, I would be prepared to handle a child. I was the adult...no, I'm still the adult...except when I curl up at night in a fetal position crying my eyes out. Now that I'm a mother, nothing anyone say or do can make me question myself more. My dreams of having a "normal" child is somewhat altered. Let me backtrack...by normal I do not mean perfect, but normal as in nothing wrong. My son has Sensory Integrations, speech delays, and is labeled as a Resistant Eater. No, that's not another terminology for picky eater. Resistant Eater is when the child has a hard time chewing and swallowing due to low muscle tones...It is also why he is talking at a 9-month level instead of 27-month level. When my friends tell me how challenging their days are with their 2-year old toddlers...I smile, nod and offer my sympathy. The thing is, my day is not challenged because my son is 2-years old. That's expected...I mean even the 70-year old neighbor knew the terrible two's stage...so it's not new news. My day is challenged with what I can feed him so that he won't gag or choke or throw up. My day is challenged with over pronouncing each word in a song or sentence with high hopes that he catches on a word he wants to mimic. My day is challenged with trying to stimulate his brain and body by presenting different textures into our regular play-time so he doesn't run in fear that the cotton balls are touching his hands. I feel like I don't do enough for him every day. I find myself questioning if I over-stimulate or under-stimulate him. The only thing I know for sure is that I give him plenty of love each and every day. So every night before bed, I write down the things he did for the day...and everything he tried to do. Especially when he tried so hard to say, "momma".