You know.. you may not be able to live *YOR* dreams of more children, but know that there of those of us who wish we could be living your life as you are living our dreams of even having children. I've been a long read of yours.. but I rarely comment.. I'm not trying to lessen your sadness over your issues... but instead trying something my grammie todl me last night. "Even if your dreams aren't being lived, know you are living anothers dreams you may not know." It offered some comfort... though there is still (and always will...) be pain.