I had the same questions when I was pregnant with my second. I made a plan for who was going to come and get my son, but I played it by ear on when. I didn't mind him knowing that I was in labor, but I didn't want him to get scared knowing that I was really hurting. So, I had him picked up when it started getting to that point (my mom was only about 10 minutes away). I still didn't go to the hospital for about four more hours, but that gave me time to work through contractions, blog, eat lunch, and attempt to chill. It worked out great! After the baby was born, my son was brought to the hospital and was the first person to meet his new sister. We got him in on the experience as soon as possible. He was more than happy, though, to head back to grandma and granddad's house!