I've also heard a lot of negativity towards being a new mom, and I have the opinion that you can relate a bad side of anything with optimism that gives women a sense of understanding AND hope...something that won't make them want to cry on a bad day. I mean if you're always focusing on how bad something will be, it might turn into some kind of self-fulfilled prophecy. But if they have the realistic but hopeful point-of-view(and not tinged with pessimism), it may give them the tools to cope...even if things aren't going spectacular. That being said....most women I've talked to don't like arbitrary advice coming from random people anyway. Maybe these people just aren't versed in a standard "congratulations."