I remember staggering into a coffee shop with my first newborn, early in the morning -- like we had been waiting for the shop to open at 5:30 a.m. and I was losing my mind early-- and this woman came up to me laughed and said, "First kid, huh? You won't believe how easy this part is. Wait until she's a toddler. THEN it gets hard." It wasn't helpful or supportive, it was just mean. And I think those kinds of comments are one of the worst parts of pregnancy and early motherhood. But I also agree a little with Anonymous that it's important for the seasoned mothers not to sugar-coat it for the expectant mothers. A lot of the moms that I watch struggle in those first months have unrealistic expectations. Popular culture tells them they're supposed to be blissfully happy, instantaneously competant, and totally unambivalent about their new status. So when they feel scared, overwhelmed, they have negative feelings toward their baby, and doubts about their own motherhood, they feel like failures. Somone should do them the great kindness of letting them know ahead of time that that's normal. Unsolicited, all I offer are congratulations and best wishes. But when I am in a position of trust and friendship to a new mother, I take the time to let her know it may not be wonderful -- parts of it will be awful. That's normal. She's normal if it turns out to be a lot harder than she wanted it to be. Great post, as always, Rachel!